We can caucus if we want to, we can leave your friends behind.

So, my husband and I caucused last night. I had no idea of the time requirement that was involved. Or, I should say, the time that's required that is involved for caucusing for the correct party.

I believe that Democrats want the quick fix on everything and that is why they go in and vote and leave. On the other hand, the Republican caucus tooks nearly two hours. I had no idea democracy was so time consuming. So there we sat, listening to speaker after speaker talk. One of the speakers got up and was going on about not getting our voices heard by not showing up. Hello? We were there. In mass numbers. So much so, that they ran out of ballots. Hello? Why is he lecturing us. If that guy was running again, I wouldn't vote for him.

There was one 23-year-old running for a seat in the House for MN, I would vote for him because his speech was less boring that the lady running against him.

Then Governor Tim Pawlenty was there and gave a speech. Actually, because he is a busy man, he went first. It was interesting.

So I cast my vote for the candidate that I would like to see as Commander-in-Chief. I don't know that he is going to get there, but I did my part. Although, I hate to say this, after having spent the evening with a bunch of serious Republican thinkers, but I can't promise that I will vote straight ticket. That is why I didn't want to be elected to any delegate positions. I would love to help be an election judge, but that's about it. I don't want to have to swear to any one party, especially if I don't like a candidate in a specific category.

But one of the things I noticed that I had to comment on, was the fact that the Republican Platform includes a statement saying that (and I am paraphrasing) women who are able-bodies, should have to hold jobs in order to be eligible to receive any type of welfar benefit. I agree with that 110%. It's time to make people accountable for their actions. You can't just keep popping out babies and believe that popping out babies is your carreer and that is why you should receive free money. I just don't think that's right.

Financial Pity Party

Since I am pretty convinced that hardly anyone reads my blog anymore, I will use it as a journal today instead of something to entertain anyone who may have been a reader before.

I am sad. I don't like living in the twin cities. This is not something new. This is just something that I think about frequently. And until recently, I've just had to deal with that. I mean, there aren't a lot of options for Sonny's career choice in Grand Forks or Fargo (the area that I would like to move back to). I'm not saying that I could find a job lickity-split, but my profession has more openings than Sonny's. But the other day, in a moment of (I'm guessing) bad joking on my husband's part, he told me that we couldn't go to Target until payday. He has never said that before and I was stunned. So, I looked at him and couldn't help but ask, "We can't afford to go get toilet paper until payday!?!"

Now, I assumed that he was joking. I hope he was joking. The very idea of not being able to afford toilet paper scares the crap out of me...and that doesn't do anyone any good when there is no toilet paper. In college, it freaked me out when there wasn't any excess money for anything. I hated living from one of Greg's paychecks to the next. He was the one with the salary job while I was the one with the minimum wage hourly rate. It was scary. But it's more scary to think about that now as a 'grown up' with a family, and a degree. So, what you're telling me is that even though I busted my ass for my Masters, and we both work at least 32 hours a week, we can't afford to splurge once in a while?!?

But we do splurge once in a while. We try to have a date night or dinner out at least once per week. Sometimes on the weekend, it seems like we only eat out, even if it's just something quick like Quizno's.

I'm sure that my husband will read this and tell me that I shouldn't have written this, but I am sure that every family goes through periods where money is tight, or at least feels like it is. And I know that he did explain to me that it wasn't that we couldn't afford toilet paper, but that going to Target never equals just toilet paper. Think about it. Have you ever gone to Target and just came out with the one or two things that you needed? I understand his point. But the thought lingers in my head. Do I need to get another job? Does he need to get another job? Do we need to move somewhere where the cost of living isn't so high? I mean, I know the cost of living would be significantly less in ND, but so would the wages we would be working for. That's disheartening.

So, if you have ever worried about money, I hope you feel better after reading my financial woes. I don't know if my husband made his comment because we had gone to the MOA for the afternoon. But I didn't shop at any stores (except for Lukin) that I didn't have a gift card for. I don't need the lecture, so I tend to avoid fun shopping anymore.

So there you go: hardly any money, very few friends (none of which are in the district I work in), and no family. Remind me again of why I am supposed to like living in the twin cities?

Lukin can you hear me?

I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I was just laying in bed thinking about Lukin's hearing. I don't know if I mentioned the fact that my mom was worried when he was staying with her about his hearing in one of his ears. He didn't say a sound when the phone was put up to that ear and he yammered on when the phone was by his other ear. So I have been worrying about it off and on for a few days now. I did a little online research yesterday because I wanted to know what else I should be looking at.

Surprise. Surprise. If he has hearing difficulty, he may have trouble with speech-language development. Now, I already knew that. But I just never really thought about Lukin and that situation before. It made me sick to my stomach. I thought about what I can handle as a parent and decided that from where I sit now in life, I could handle many things but not a hearing loss, not speech and language delays.

I think it's hard because when he is the firstborn, I don't have anything to gauge him against. My husband doesn't seem to get it but even though I am a SLP, I don't work with the birth to 3 population, so I don't know about their own set of qualification standards. I don't know how to gauge whether or not there is anything to even worry about.

My husband says, "He'll grow out of it." "Not everyone develops at the same rate." "We'll ask the doctor in March." None of those responses make me feel any better. I want answers now. Maybe it's true that one day he will just start talking. Maybe it's true that boys just develop slower and it will come. But I don't want to gamble on 'maybes' with my child's development.

So, that's what is going on in my head.

Gang

As everyone knows, I went to school in this small town of about 2000 people. Never, in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that there were problems with gangs in my home town. Drugs? Yes. Alcohol? Yes. But gangs? No.

So, I have to confess that it throws me for a loop where we are called to an all staff meeting to discuss how to identify gang behaviors and document gang behaviors. It freaks me out a little bit. I have never really thought about it. I mean I have heard the word 'gang' before, but it strikes fear in me when we are asked to watch the behavior of certain students.

I can handle the behaviors of students, especially given the fact that one of the main reasons they are in this facility is because of behaviors. However, gang affiliation is not an accepted behavior. I don't know. I am sure that no one else would read this and be able to relate but I wanted to vent about that.

All Carnivores Must Die!!

Yesterday, one of my students made the title comment. I don't think she realized the magnitude of what it was she was saying. I think she understands that she is probably the only one in our tiny school of approximately 100 students and 30 or so staff that are vegetarian. But I don't think she understands that if all carnivores were to die, she would be the only one at school, and in her home. Maybe, after the 'bad day' she claimed to be having yesterday, that might have been okay with her.

She came to my class in a bad mood. But we had some testing to get done so we got started. She worked fairly willingly until we got to a part where I read a short story and she had to retell it to me. I wasn't checking her ability to retell the story but rather her ability to use speech sounds in sentences. Without thinking, I turned the page on a story about two kids who had gone fishing to a page where the mother of one of the kids was cooking up the fish for supper.

At this point, my student threw the book across the room. We both sat there in shock for a few moments before she began apologizing hysterically and it suddenly occurred to me why she had thrown the test book. This is when she launched into her vegetarian rant and the rest of our time was lost.

I have never had a student sit and openly cry before. It was strange. I have had younger students who almost cry when they don't get their way, but that's not what this was. It was different than that. I can't explain why exactly but I understood (partially) where she was coming from. When you are in high school and there is some trait that makes you different than other students (for her: being a vegetarian, for me: having a sibling with a physical handicap), it's hard not to be singled out as being different. People may appear to accept you but don't really know you because of the differentiating circumstance. And for this particular student, she made things worse for herself by being unwilling to accept other perspectives other than her own. And so she was singling herself out as well as being singled out by others.

It was a hard day for her, and a new teaching experience for me. Now I have some ideas of what to do if something like that should happen again.

High and Low lights from the weekend

Well, as I might have mentioned, we went to Texas for the weekend. Here's the rundown.

1. I was stressed out because I was left at the airport with Lukin and Dan (my father-in-law) and my husband was not there (because he was still at work). I wasn't going to get on the plane without him. They (he and my mother-in-law) got there as they were making the final announcement for boarding. We got on the plane, and were on there for a while (probably at least 25 minutes) before we were transferred to another plane due to mechanical issues. And Lukin would have slept on the whole flight if we had taken off right away. But since we transferred after he fell asleep, he woke up and stayed awake until we got on the next flight and then was awake the whole flight. Thanks Northwest.

2. Once in Texas, (over an hour and a half later than we expected), Sonny went to get the rental car, Dan was in the bathroom or something and so Carin and I were getting all the bags. Once we had them, we were trying to get going but pushing a stroller with one hand while pulling a suitcase in the other can be tricky and I ended up pinching my finger in the stroller and screamed right there at the airport. I still have that evidence. Carin said the blood should reabsorb within a week. In the meantime, it's gross to look at.

3. On Saturday, we got to go to Ben's Pinewood Derby races. That was pretty fun. He won 5 of his 6 races and took first in his troop and third in the contest overall. That was pretty exciting. I guess it gets us ready for the types of things there are to look forward to as Lukin gets older.

4. Saturday night was fun hanging out with the in-laws. We watched a movie and played a couple games of marbles. Then Sonny and I went back to the hotel because Wendi had to go to bed to play organ for church the next morning.

5. Sunday started well enough. Although, it should have been a small indication of how the day would go when we left the hotel and got to Wendi's house before I remembered that I forgot my winter coat in the hotel closet. We were able to go back and retrieve it, but it should have been an indication.

6. We did get seats on the flight to go home that we wanted to be on. However, they were three seats that weren't together. Thankfully, two of the seats were aisles diagnal from each other. That's not the most ideal situation but better than being several rows apart in the middle. Well, the thing about flying standby is that you are not supposed to ask if people want to switch seats. However, if they offer, you can take them up on it. So my husband gets to his seat carrying Lukin, and this man and his son are sitting next to him, I drop my stuff off at my seat and stand in the aisle to hold him while Sonny gets buckled in. The man beside him turns around and asks (probably his mother) if she would switch with Sonny and she refuses because she likes the empty seat beside her. Bitch. I told Sonny later than we should have said that was Lukin's seat since he was his seat was actually in the middle of a row without us (but in a different row). The lady next to her (in the window seat) thanked her. Another bitch. So we had to play back and forth bingo with Lukin the whole flight. Needless to say, I was steamed by the lady next to me, across the aisle for having this empty seat next to her. Bitch.

7. Thankfully, the flight went quickly (2 hours and 10 minutes) and we managed to keep Lukin fairly entertained. Then when we landed there was another plane at our gate so we had to change gates and by the time we got off, and they finally brought our stroller, it was boarding time for the flight to GF. So we run and quick use the bathroom, but then get on the plane. Thankfully, we were together on that flight.

8. Once we got to GF, we contacted home to let them know we had landed and to give them an idea about how much longer it would be. But that was pointless because our bags weren't on the flight. So we waited because the next flight was arriving another 20 to 30 minutes later. We waited for that flight assuming that our bags would be on that flight. They weren't. So there we were in GF, in sub-zero weather with lower wind chills, with no coats, no bags, and no car seat. What we did have was a diaper bag, a stroller and a rental car. We were at a loss as to what to do, but finally after a mini-breakdown in the car on my behalf, Greg called and was home and said we could stay at his place overnight until our things (hopefully) came in the morning. So, we ran to Wal-Mart quick so I could get a few necessities: diapers, wipes, bananas for breakfast, toothbrushes, toothpaste, saline, and milk for Lukin.

9. We got to Greg's sometime around 1:00 am. Lukin was tired, you could tell, but he was awake enough to scope things our at 'Uncle Greg's' before bedtime. Lukin and I slept on a daybed because that way there was a boundary on both sides of him. The only bad thing about sleeping with him is that he has to snuggle up right next to you, so I was practically hanging off the bed. Oh, there are two bad things because he doesn't like covers and I was freezing. So I had to become like a little papoose so I had covers even though he didn't want any. And I had to keep sliding him over so I could scoot back on the bed.

10. The next day, our bags did come but my parents had arrived before we all (I) had a chance to get ready. Sonny was showered, Lukin was getting ready but I hadn't had a chance yet, and my dad was ready to go to lunch. So I combed my hair and put it in a ponytail and splashed on some perfume and we were out the door to lunch (with me in the clothes I had been wearing since Sunday morning). I felt like ass but survived. After Mom, Dad, and Lukin headed north, we went back to Greg's so that I could get showered up before we had to get on our flight back.

11. By this time, I was tired of flying and very wary of the airport taking out bag. I kept my jacket this time because if they lost our bag again, at least we wouldn't be cold. But our bag did arrive, and thankfully when we got back to our car, it did start in the cold, and we went home.

I don't think I have had a weekend that I was so glad to have over in quite a while. This was most certainly one of those weekends.

Babies

So last night we took the little man to get a haircut. And may I say that he looks like he is going bald. He has such thick hair and the lady thinned it out and tapered it in the back and made it so older boy and ugly that I was sad. The lady seemed defensive as she was telling me that it was the most popular haircut. I don't care. It's a fine haircut but it's just that it makes him look older and I want my one-year-old to look like a one-year-old.

But that is not what I set out to write about. I set out to write about after the haircut. The Kids Hair is in the same parking lot as Applebee's, so guess where we went for dinner (supper, for your North Dakotans)? Anyway, there was a small child sitting a couple tables down from us. As we were finishing up our meal, the other family was leaving and Lukin noticed the little boy as they were walking towards us. I said something like, "That little boy is all done and they are going home." So Lukin was staring at the little boy, and the little boy was staring at Lukin. They just were staring at each other with these goofy grins on their faces and then the dad carrying the boy walked past and Lukin turned the other way and waved to the little boy and then they were gone.

I LOVE that about little kids. It's like they are part of this secret society that they belong to. And every little kid is part of it. So everytime they see each other, they give each other this smile that says that they know the other is part of 'the club' too. I especially love it when the kids (such as Lukin and the little boy from Applebee's) can't talk. They still smile at each other even though they can't have a verbal conversation (not that little kids would have really meaningful conversations anyway). It makes me smile. Maybe that is part of what their little club tells them for a reason why they have to smile: it makes the grown-ups around them smile too. I don't know, it's just cute. I love that.