So the other night,I went downstairs to go to bed and noticed that my son's bedroom door was open. I peeked in and realized that my husband was sound asleep on the futon. I know that my husband only goes into Lukin's room when he cries at night and I wondered why I didn't hear him. Nevertheless, I went in and woke my husband and told him to go to bed. He did just that.
As I turned around, I saw my son sitting up in his crib. That was an odd thing to see at 10:30 at night and so I walked over to his crib. He said, "Da?" And I replied that daddy has to go to work so he has to go sleep in his bed. This answer appeared to appease Lukin and so I gave him a hug and he laid back down.
I asked if I could cover him up with his Pooh blanket and he nodded yes, already laying with his eyes closed and his fingers in his mouth. I asked something else and he nodded again with his eyes closed and then I smiled as I left the room. Apparently, all he really needed was for mommy to come and retuck him in.
That's when it occurred to me. I have a student at school that just needs someone to pay attention to him. When I paid the attention to Lukin, he was fine in seconds and laid down to go to sleep. Maybe if someone gave that kid at school 5 minutes of their time at home, then he would be better able to focus and make good choices instead of only bad ones to get attention. Maybe not. But that's my thought for the day.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
9/11
I know that I am a week late to comment on 9/11, but I am going to do it anyway. And I want to add the disclaimer that I do not intent for what I want to say to be offensive or insensitive in any way, it's just my thoughts.
So the other night, I was watching a program on the History Channel entitled: "102 Minutes that Changed America". It showed the events of 9/11 from 9 different points of view from 10 different locations around the city on the day of those fateful events.
As I watched the program, there were several times when my eyes began to tear up. I remember that day. For me, and for several other people around my age, it was the first national tragedy that we had been alive for. Maybe that was why I was tearing up: because it was a national tragedy that I remember.
I mean, I remember exactly where I was sitting when Cathy (my student teacher supervisor) took the call from her husband. I remember the way she said, "Oh no!" And I think back to what a poignant moment that was. There I was, thinking that something sad had happened and, at that moment, not really knowing just how profoundly sad it really was. I mean, I thought it was something like an uncle or grandparent had passed away. It never crossed my mind that it would be anything like it turned out to be.
I remember thinking about how I (along with many others around the country) couldn't tear ourselves away from watching it one more time on the television and then not being able to turn away because maybe this time, it wouldn't collapse. I remember the sense of sadness that I felt every time that it did. It was denial.
So when I watched it on tv the other night, I remember experiencing those same emotions again. It was depressing. Like I mentioned, there were several times that I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.
But then I got mad. Why did they show this on tv? Granted, I did't have to watch it, but I did because I remember. I mean, watching it, I was just as sad as when it happened, and for what? My husband says that they show programs like that so that we don't forget.This didn't help my anger. I hadn't fogotten!
My over-analytical self kicked in at this moment because I thought about how sad I was for this tragedy and realized that it was not the sadest I had ever been in my life. I have been through some sad experiences before. The main one that comees to mind is the death of my sister. But (thankfully) no one recorded every moment of that occurrence so that I could pull it out and replay it on an annual basis. Why would I want to do that? Why would anyone want to relive a tragedy like that over and over again? So they don't forget? I don't think that you really can forget when there is a tragedy that affects you as an individual.
When Steph passed away, I remember so many different moments of the following week and all its surreal events. I remember how sad I was when it actually happened. I remember how sad I was when I had to call everyone to tell them what was going on, and how bad I felt that so many people were so happy to hear from me only to find out that it wasn't a social call. I remember how my aunt Mic dropped the phone when I told her. I remember getting up the following morning and having my dad tell me that he didn't know how he was going to make it through the next several days and that he would need my help. I remember not really crying for a couple days after that because I was trying to be strong for the family. I remember the exact moment when I finally did break down and bawl (Wednesday night). I remember the funeral. I remember the burial service at the cementary. I remember how sad the whole thing was. So why would I want to relive that annually? So I don't forget? I don't want to remember it all with crystal clarity.
So, I guess that's why I had mixed emotions about the program on 9/11. I understand that its intent may have been to make sure that we remember, but really, for those who are old enough to remember, did we really forget?
So the other night, I was watching a program on the History Channel entitled: "102 Minutes that Changed America". It showed the events of 9/11 from 9 different points of view from 10 different locations around the city on the day of those fateful events.
As I watched the program, there were several times when my eyes began to tear up. I remember that day. For me, and for several other people around my age, it was the first national tragedy that we had been alive for. Maybe that was why I was tearing up: because it was a national tragedy that I remember.
I mean, I remember exactly where I was sitting when Cathy (my student teacher supervisor) took the call from her husband. I remember the way she said, "Oh no!" And I think back to what a poignant moment that was. There I was, thinking that something sad had happened and, at that moment, not really knowing just how profoundly sad it really was. I mean, I thought it was something like an uncle or grandparent had passed away. It never crossed my mind that it would be anything like it turned out to be.
I remember thinking about how I (along with many others around the country) couldn't tear ourselves away from watching it one more time on the television and then not being able to turn away because maybe this time, it wouldn't collapse. I remember the sense of sadness that I felt every time that it did. It was denial.
So when I watched it on tv the other night, I remember experiencing those same emotions again. It was depressing. Like I mentioned, there were several times that I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.
But then I got mad. Why did they show this on tv? Granted, I did't have to watch it, but I did because I remember. I mean, watching it, I was just as sad as when it happened, and for what? My husband says that they show programs like that so that we don't forget.This didn't help my anger. I hadn't fogotten!
My over-analytical self kicked in at this moment because I thought about how sad I was for this tragedy and realized that it was not the sadest I had ever been in my life. I have been through some sad experiences before. The main one that comees to mind is the death of my sister. But (thankfully) no one recorded every moment of that occurrence so that I could pull it out and replay it on an annual basis. Why would I want to do that? Why would anyone want to relive a tragedy like that over and over again? So they don't forget? I don't think that you really can forget when there is a tragedy that affects you as an individual.
When Steph passed away, I remember so many different moments of the following week and all its surreal events. I remember how sad I was when it actually happened. I remember how sad I was when I had to call everyone to tell them what was going on, and how bad I felt that so many people were so happy to hear from me only to find out that it wasn't a social call. I remember how my aunt Mic dropped the phone when I told her. I remember getting up the following morning and having my dad tell me that he didn't know how he was going to make it through the next several days and that he would need my help. I remember not really crying for a couple days after that because I was trying to be strong for the family. I remember the exact moment when I finally did break down and bawl (Wednesday night). I remember the funeral. I remember the burial service at the cementary. I remember how sad the whole thing was. So why would I want to relive that annually? So I don't forget? I don't want to remember it all with crystal clarity.
So, I guess that's why I had mixed emotions about the program on 9/11. I understand that its intent may have been to make sure that we remember, but really, for those who are old enough to remember, did we really forget?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Stacie and Mike's visit
So Stacie and Mike made their way to the cities the week after their wedding. They stayed with us on Saturday and we took them out. The plan was originally dinner, bowling, and then the piano bar.
Even though, Mike had wanted to go to Psycho Susie's, we ended up going to have Juicy Lucy's instead. We ended up skipping bowling because we got a late start and because someone forgot her ID when we went out. So we went back to grab it and then headed downtown to 'The Shout House'. (I should have taken a picture of the sign, but I didn't think of it til now.)
If you have never heard of it, or never been there. It's a dueling pianos style bar. It's a lot of fun. Stacie and I especially liked the bouncer. We didn't know he was going to sing "Shoop" for us. That made us laugh, partly because he was singing "Shoop" and partly because he reminded us of our friend Derek.
Stacie said that the bar wasn't what she expected. But I think that she and Mike had a fun time. Mike especially liked the part where some people paid $85 to have them sing the NDSU school fight song. He had the biggest smile on his face for that part.
I also took advantage of the opportunity to introduce Stacie to the best Cosmopolitans I have ever had. Yum!
We took photos on the way home to show what a good time we had.
And I am sure that a good time was had by all.
Even though, Mike had wanted to go to Psycho Susie's, we ended up going to have Juicy Lucy's instead. We ended up skipping bowling because we got a late start and because someone forgot her ID when we went out. So we went back to grab it and then headed downtown to 'The Shout House'. (I should have taken a picture of the sign, but I didn't think of it til now.)
If you have never heard of it, or never been there. It's a dueling pianos style bar. It's a lot of fun. Stacie and I especially liked the bouncer. We didn't know he was going to sing "Shoop" for us. That made us laugh, partly because he was singing "Shoop" and partly because he reminded us of our friend Derek.
Stacie said that the bar wasn't what she expected. But I think that she and Mike had a fun time. Mike especially liked the part where some people paid $85 to have them sing the NDSU school fight song. He had the biggest smile on his face for that part.
I also took advantage of the opportunity to introduce Stacie to the best Cosmopolitans I have ever had. Yum!
We took photos on the way home to show what a good time we had.
And I am sure that a good time was had by all.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My sister (and new brother-in-law)'s wedding
This would be the morning after we arrived in Cavalier. It would also be the boys attempt at helping to decorate the legion. It would also be the only picture I took that day. (Sorry for forgetting to snap a quick photo of the Legion after it was decorated...not to mention pictures of the rehearsal.)
The next morning, we had to go get our hair done. I, in my usual over-analytical state, was trying to figure out why we get our hair done for a wedding. Is it supposed to be a relaxing fun time? Is it just to make it so you don't have to do your own hair? Or is it just an excuse so the guys can go golfing while we get up early to get our hair done? I'm not sure.
A shot of the bride by herself.
The bride with her sister.
More proof that we are sisters. Thankfully, it's just my camera and not the photographer's.
In case you thought Lukin wasn't on this part...oh I guarantee you, he'd be on.
The wedding party.
Proof that the bride had a shot when she was 'kidnapped'.
The first dance as husband and wife. Awwwww.... It brought a little tear to my eye.
Obligatory Family pose...even though Lukin wanted no part of it because he didn't have a nap and Mom and Dad have their eyes closed because it's bright out...This is why we just have Lukin on the Christmas card people.
All in all, it was a very fun weekend. Exhausting, but very fun. I was honored to be the Matron of Honor for my sister (as I am sure that Sonny and Lukin were happy with their roles as groomsman, and Ring Bearer, respectively). Congratulations to Stacie and Mike!!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Hair: check. Nails: check.
Okay so besides this being the week of Stacie's wedding, it is also the first week of school. But being the over-organized freak that I am, I have compartmentalized everything that needs to be done this week, including getting my hair and nails done.
Hair was last night. I went back to having some blonde. I only had that brunette thing going on for a few months but it was weird to have the blonde all of a sudden. (But don't worry Stacie, I look freaking adorable...just like the day we tried on dresses...) :)
Then tonight after work, I stopped to get my nails done. I wanted a manicure, but I was worried that they would try to push the full set on me. Thankfully, they didn't. And I was able to get a nice French manicure (not American, too everyday, not formal enough) without the worry of having to go back every two weeks. Now I just hope that they last through Saturday night. After that, I don't care.
Well, this is the last entry before the wedding because we head out tomorrow after work. I will promise to take pictures and I will actually get some on here this time.
Hair was last night. I went back to having some blonde. I only had that brunette thing going on for a few months but it was weird to have the blonde all of a sudden. (But don't worry Stacie, I look freaking adorable...just like the day we tried on dresses...) :)
Then tonight after work, I stopped to get my nails done. I wanted a manicure, but I was worried that they would try to push the full set on me. Thankfully, they didn't. And I was able to get a nice French manicure (not American, too everyday, not formal enough) without the worry of having to go back every two weeks. Now I just hope that they last through Saturday night. After that, I don't care.
Well, this is the last entry before the wedding because we head out tomorrow after work. I will promise to take pictures and I will actually get some on here this time.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Dear Stacie
So here it is, Stacie, the big week. The week you have been looking forward to, and probably dreading all the work involved with, for the last year. Having been through this "big week" myself, I want to offer up some advice. And, in case you are wondering, it is real advice.
I know that I have been giving you grief about getting all your stuff packed and getting the favors done, and though those are things that you are working on, those aren't the things I want to write about.
I also am not going to write about my speech...which I haven't started yet. But don't worry. I will try not to let it start with, "Stacie, you are lucky because Mike is a really great guy..."
What I want to say is to enjoy this week. All of it. For as much as some of the things you have to do this week may seem like a pain in the ass, they are necessary to help give you the wedding day you have dreamed about all your life. And every detail you have to prepare, as mundane as it may seem, tend to it with excitement, because it is all leading to your wedding.
Don't wish a moment of this week away. Because before you know it, it will be over. And Sonny and I will be the first to tell you that it's such a let down when it is all over (probably more so for you two since you have been planning longer than Sonny and I did). I mean, you plan and plan and plan and before you can blink your eyes, it's over. And I have to confess that the wedding let down is worse than the day after Christmas let down (because at least with Christmas, you know it will happen again in a year).
So enjoy it while it lasts, and have fun.
Oh and one last piece of advice, I'm not saying not to drink at your wedding, but I wouldn't advice getting really drunk either (I have no idea if you even plan to get drunk or not, but I am just saying) because what would the point be of spending oodles of money on a wedding and reception and dance, if you plan to get too drunk to remember it?
So, there's your advice from your older sister.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!! I LOVE YOU!!
I know that I have been giving you grief about getting all your stuff packed and getting the favors done, and though those are things that you are working on, those aren't the things I want to write about.
I also am not going to write about my speech...which I haven't started yet. But don't worry. I will try not to let it start with, "Stacie, you are lucky because Mike is a really great guy..."
What I want to say is to enjoy this week. All of it. For as much as some of the things you have to do this week may seem like a pain in the ass, they are necessary to help give you the wedding day you have dreamed about all your life. And every detail you have to prepare, as mundane as it may seem, tend to it with excitement, because it is all leading to your wedding.
Don't wish a moment of this week away. Because before you know it, it will be over. And Sonny and I will be the first to tell you that it's such a let down when it is all over (probably more so for you two since you have been planning longer than Sonny and I did). I mean, you plan and plan and plan and before you can blink your eyes, it's over. And I have to confess that the wedding let down is worse than the day after Christmas let down (because at least with Christmas, you know it will happen again in a year).
So enjoy it while it lasts, and have fun.
Oh and one last piece of advice, I'm not saying not to drink at your wedding, but I wouldn't advice getting really drunk either (I have no idea if you even plan to get drunk or not, but I am just saying) because what would the point be of spending oodles of money on a wedding and reception and dance, if you plan to get too drunk to remember it?
So, there's your advice from your older sister.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!! I LOVE YOU!!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Two Entries, One Weekend... The State Fair Entry
So, Sonny and I went to the state fair this past week. If you have ever been the the MN state fair, you know that the big draw is to eat things on sticks: ostrich, meatballs, tator tot hotdish (which by the way wasn't bad), reubens, etc. And that's basically what this entry is about...what we ate (whether on a stick or not).
(Side note: Some of you may wonder why I would have an entry about the food that we ate at the state fair...but if you are wondering that, then you obviously don't know the state fair. When I have told people that I went there, they want to know what I ate, so here it is.)
Alright, so this is broken down into foods we shared, foods I ate, and foods Sonny ate. Keep in mind that we got there around 1:30 pm, and were there until around 9 pm or so, and did a lot of walking. But it's still a lot of foods to try.
Our shared list: (1) a sausage sampler consisting of wild rice and jalapeno, italian tuscan, and potato sausage pieces along with peppers and onions on top (this stand is the home of the viper jerky (where they make you sign a waver before you can buy it)), (2) crab cakes, (3) walleye cakes, (4) garlic fries, (5) chicken bruschetta pizza, and (6) Sweet Martha's Chocolate Chip Cookies.
My individual list: (1) corn on the cob (a MN state fair staple, in my opinion), (2) a marshmallow dipped in chocolate (on a stick), (3) a smores, (4) lefse, and (5) deep fried mushrooms.
Sonny's individual list: (1) teriyaki ostrich on a stick, (2) turkey jerky, (3) a strawberry smoothie, (4) frozen grapes on a stick, (5) a free beer sample, and (6) mini doughnuts.
Sorry to have to confess that even though we sent pictures of the Big Fat Bacon stand and the stand that had Kool-Aid, we failed to have either of these goodies. We also skipped the Pronto Pup this year and the cheese curds. I have no regrets about that but Sonny said that next year, we have to include the cheese curds again. I guess it's not the state fair, for him, without them.
Besides eating, we went on two rides, walked a ton and even played some games and won an stuffed animal for Lukin.
(Side note: Some of you may wonder why I would have an entry about the food that we ate at the state fair...but if you are wondering that, then you obviously don't know the state fair. When I have told people that I went there, they want to know what I ate, so here it is.)
Alright, so this is broken down into foods we shared, foods I ate, and foods Sonny ate. Keep in mind that we got there around 1:30 pm, and were there until around 9 pm or so, and did a lot of walking. But it's still a lot of foods to try.
Our shared list: (1) a sausage sampler consisting of wild rice and jalapeno, italian tuscan, and potato sausage pieces along with peppers and onions on top (this stand is the home of the viper jerky (where they make you sign a waver before you can buy it)), (2) crab cakes, (3) walleye cakes, (4) garlic fries, (5) chicken bruschetta pizza, and (6) Sweet Martha's Chocolate Chip Cookies.
My individual list: (1) corn on the cob (a MN state fair staple, in my opinion), (2) a marshmallow dipped in chocolate (on a stick), (3) a smores, (4) lefse, and (5) deep fried mushrooms.
Sonny's individual list: (1) teriyaki ostrich on a stick, (2) turkey jerky, (3) a strawberry smoothie, (4) frozen grapes on a stick, (5) a free beer sample, and (6) mini doughnuts.
Sorry to have to confess that even though we sent pictures of the Big Fat Bacon stand and the stand that had Kool-Aid, we failed to have either of these goodies. We also skipped the Pronto Pup this year and the cheese curds. I have no regrets about that but Sonny said that next year, we have to include the cheese curds again. I guess it's not the state fair, for him, without them.
Besides eating, we went on two rides, walked a ton and even played some games and won an stuffed animal for Lukin.
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