Epidemic...

Last weekend, my best friend told me that my ex-fiance turned 30 on Friday. A week from this Friday, she turns 30. In another couple of weeks after that, another one of my friends (and her twin brother) turn 30. A few weeks later and another friend turns 30 and then about 2 weeks after that, I turn 30.

Dramatic Music: I think it's an epidemic.

I was having this conversation with my friend Kurt, who for the record is 26, and he didn't seem to understand what the big deal was. I don't know if that's because he is 26 or because he is male. Allow me to go through the list of why turning 30 is not good:

1. Advertisements for things like make up, hair products and such are no longer aimed at you. They are aimed at young women in their late teens and 20s. Those products that have advertisements aimed at you are for turning back the clock.

2. MTV no longer makes any sense to you. In your early 20s, the idea of being on Real World was cool. Now the idea of living with a bunch of people who don't get along, don't really work, but do spend their time whining, waxing poetic, and drinking the nights away before landing in bed of one of their roommates is so ridiculous.

3. When you were in your teens, the 20s seemed like they were going to be so exciting: getting a job and making gazillions of dollars, getting your own place, maybe getting married, maybe other things. It all seemed so grown up and glamorous. Now, as you embark on your 30s, you realize that you are going to have a job, but it's not the glamorous one you envisioned. You won't makes millions a year, in fact you will probably never think you make enough to live comfortably. You may be married with a family and you may miss the days of sleeping in and thinking for one instead of for a whole family. Yay, being 30.

4. One word that you didn't worry about in your 20s: Gravity.

5. In your 20s, your diet could consist of pizza at every other meal, a 6 pak of soda a day and doritos, with queso, every night before heading out to the bar for a few adult beverages. I've been told that in your 30s, you really can't do that anymore, you metabolism slows dramatically and you have to really work to keep it thinking you are in your 20s.

6. When you were younger, the popular actors/actresses were your age, in your 30s they are all younger than you.

I know that the list could go on and on. Feel free to tell me some of the ones I am missing, if you are living through this epidemic yourself.