Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt

It is with a heavy heart that I login to report that school is less than two weeks away, and I do not have a job. This will be the first year, since I was four years old, that the beginning of school that won't mean anything to me.

And I have to be honest and confess that I am so, so sad. I tried really hard this summer (I mean as hard as you can try in filling out over 16 applications). And it has been hard to do just that and sit back and wait for a district to get to your application and be wowed enough to call you for an interview. I am beside myself and I don't know what to do. I can't believe that I didn't get an actual job again this school year, especially with all the openings that I saw and applied for.

But all is not totally lost yet. I know of one more application that I have floating out there that I haven't heard about yet. I pray that it will work out, but realize that there may be plenty of people still trying to get a job just like me.

And speaking of praying about getting a job, I trust that God has a plan for me. I just don't understand why it doesn't involve me having a job in my chosen profession. I hope that maybe a para position will work out so that I can still stay in the school systems, but maybe that's not part of the plan either. In which case, I have no idea what to do next.

Sonny says to stay positive but I am too sad. My friend who is a special ed coordinator said that sometimes a district can't hire who they want because of budget cuts. If that is the case, I will never get a job again because there will always be someone with less experience than me applying that would be cheaper for the district to hire. In that case, what am I supposed to do? I am at a loss right now and don't know what to do.