I'm growing old and I don't wanna know.

Last entry's song title: I'll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

I have so much to rant about, I don't even know where to begin.

Let me start with education. Oh boy. First of all, I have to laugh as I say this but I swear that education is the only profession in which you get your pink slip and then are expected to work an additional three months or so. They say they do it that way so that you have adequate time to find another position for the next year. I think it's so that they can see how much of a sucker you are. Which brings me to my next point, what a waste of time my job is right now.

At this point of the year, it's basically crowd control. Most of the kids have checked out for the year. Hardly any of them are still in a frame of mind to learn anything. And then, we have these meetings talking about stuff for next year. I don't care. Unless, by some miracle, the woman who is apparently taking this job next year, changes her mind, I am pretty sure I don't care what you plan for next year. That might sound bitchy but I am having a hell of a time getting myself out of bed to come to work. And why shouldn't I? I can't find a reason to make myself want to do well. I mean, yes, I don't want any bad letters of rec following me around, but all the letters have been written. I have applied to all the open positions I can find. Will I find anything out before the end of the year? Who knows? But it leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless. You gotta love education.

I didn't do anything for my Memorial Day weekend. I just stayed at home with Lukin while Sonny worked. We didn't go anywhere because Daddy had the car seat and I forgot to have him leave it at the house before he left for work every day. So I had a lot of time to think. I realized that I am closing in on 30 quickly. In fact, I have 4 months and 6 days until I leave my 20s. That sucks. If you watch tv, you realize all ads are aimed at women in their 20s. They don't have ads for how beautiful you can look at 30. I hate it. I don't know that I have the idea of turning 30 as much as the idea of turning 30 how life is now.

As I went through my 20s, there were plenty of things I would have liked to change. However, being that it was my 20s, it was all part of the gig. I wish I would have had the knowledge and wisdom that I have now, but just not the age.

I don't want this to be the way it is when I turn 30. Aside from the things I want to be different about the way I perceive the world, I also want to look different too. I don't want bad grown out gray perm action, and I don't want post-baby body. So, I better get to work on those things if I want to change them. I want my 30s to be fantastic, but I don't wanna blow it either.

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

Last entry's song title: It's the End of the World as We Know It by R.E.M.

Thank goodness it's Friday. Special thanks to Sonny for helping me out on my "project" last night. I am almost done but I needed a break. My shoulders and neck couldn't take any more hunching over, so I thought I would blog.

What a work day! I have been working on my "project" and now I am blogging. The classrooms that we visit during block 3 are on a field trip so my afternoon is free because block 4 is usually my prep on green days. So I am just filling time.

I need to make some bingo cards. I made the cards, but now I need to fill them out and make the little slips to draw. That ought to be fun. Yeah, right. I should get going on that so that I can keep myself busy for the rest of the day and not have anything undone when I go home. Maybe then I can go home and start working on my wedding album tonight. Ha!

Well, if you are in town this weekend and want to get together, give me a call. I will be here and will probably be bored.

Late Celebration

I forgot to make a big deal out of the fact that the last entry was my 100th entry. Whoopie! Too bad I couldn't make some bad ass graphics or something like Strong Bad whenever he gets another 100 emails. Oh well.

...er...whatever...

Listen to yourself churn (tricky one)

Last entry's song title: It's Not Over by Daughtry

That was almost a fitting song choice seeing as last night was the finale of American Idol. Hmmm...

So, Sonny and I were working on the secret project tonight. I think I might be able to finish it tomorrow because after lunch I usually have a block of speech and then a block of prep and the block of kids will be on a field trip so I will be able to (fingers crossed) get it done tomorrow at work.

Today, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I didn't even get to work until 11:30 because I was out and about in the district trying to get to all the meetings I was needed at. It was only two meetings but they took nearly 4 hours. Wait. 7:30 to 11:30, yeah, that's four. It's been a long day.

This year is draining everyone. Maybe everyone's brain just stops functioning at this point in the year. But the kids are pretty much as equally distracted as the staff Nice.

My mouth is still sore from the dentist on Tuesday. In fact, I think it is more so now. I feel like I can't even open wide enough for a tuna sandwich (I know this to be true because that was supper.)

And if it's not really enough that my mouth hurts, I had to call the eye place because ever since we went to get our eyes checked at the beginning of the month, I have been having headaches from time to time when I try to shift focus too quickly. I have another appointment lined up to meet (for free) with the contact lens specialist. The lady on the phone thought that maybe my new contacts corrected my near-sightedness but not my astigmatism. I didn't even know I had astigmatism. Of course, what does that lady know? She hasn't even ever met me.

I told Sonny that I needed to stop having appointments because the one that I had each for vision and dental has turned into at least two for the month. Nice.

Try to do it right this time around.

Last entry's song title: Shackles by Vertical Horizon

If you have ever scrapbooked, you probably know what I am about to talk about. If not, work with me, it's a slow news day.

So I am doing this thing with materials from Archivers (I know that is cryptic but it will make sense to some of you soon enough), and I was on a roll last night but then I ran out of those little sticky dots. I had some sticky strips but I was almost out of them and then I had the tiny little strips that are for pictures and I don't know if they are what I want. I mean, they will do, but I kind of want to save them for the baby album, (whenever I get to that). So I think I better go and get some more. That's good because it is right beside the bank and I could use a $20. I hate not having any cash.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I went to the dentist yesterday. I wasn't afraid until I was in the chair, then I started to shake. I was freaking out. Dentist = pain. At least, when you have been to Dr. Mean for a few years, you know that Dentist = pain. Well, this place I go to now, it was hardly painful. The most pain was the two shots of novacaine, then I felt a little pain during the tooth grinding part, so then there was a third shot of novacaine. It was loud, but hardly painful. I was numb until at least 5 pm, and my apointment was at 1:20. It was weird. I get to go back in three weeks. That should be fun too. I won't be as nervous and I won't hesitate to have them turn it to the food network for me.

That's about all I know today. Ho-hum.

So tired now of paying my dues.

Last entry's song title: Satellite by Dave Matthews Band

Yesterday, I got this cryptic message from my aunt. She starts out by telling me that my grandma got her feelings hurt when she was here last weekend. Okay. I don't know what happened, and subsequent emails didn't get any information. My husband and I worry that she was upset because she had to sleep on the couch. Who knows?

What I don't get about the cryptic messages is that it started with Grandma's "alleged" hurt feelings and turned into this lecture about me being happy with the life I have. What the hell?

It would be different if I had an idea what this all stemmed from. But I don't. It just drives me nuts when people try to tell you what you are doing wrong in your life. No one is perfect, so no one should have that right. Well, except maybe psychriatrists and psycologists. But that's a whole other conversation right there.

Everything good needs replacing.

Last entry's song title: Steal My Sunshine by LEN (Amanda got that one)

I was driving back from Shannon Park today and I was thinking about my senior year of high school, particularly the last part of the high school, the part that would have happened eleven years ago this week. I was thinking about this because Dave Matthews came on the radio and I thought about how cool I thought I was with my Dave Matthews Band "Under the Table and Dreaming" and Alanis Morrissette "Jagged Little Pill" tapes. Yes, tapes. Who did I think I was? I doubt everyone had tapes, most probably were moving to CDs. Who cares? They didn't have friends who had an elephant squirt gun.

In other news...

This weekend, Lukin got to go to the park for the first time. We were at some of Sonny's friends and they wanted to let their kids go to the park so we went with them. We took and put Lukin in the baby swing for a few turns (he sorta giggled but then wanted out. He looked like a sack of potatoes all slumped up.) Then we took him down a curly slide, a double slide and a fast slide. I think he could sense mommy's fear of heights because he would fuss when he got to the top of the playground equipment.

I better go eat lunch. I don't really have lunch but I have some pretend lunch like stuff. That and I don't really have anything else important to say besides 12 days and counting.