It's almost August 1st and I still don't have a job lined up for the fall. This is not for lack of trying. Seriously. I am beginning to wonder what career choice I should have made since I am beginning to doubt that this was the one for me. I wish the phone would ring and it would be one of the four schools that I have interviewed at calling to tell me that they couldn't dream of a better candidate than me.
I don't know what my next step will be if I don't get a job offer. I know that will seriously put a kink in our desire to buy a house while there is the new homeowners tax incentive (or whatever that thing is called officially).
I want a job.
I want a home (not a townhome anymore).
I want to be able to provide for my boys.
I want to feel better about me (which I could if I got a job, instead of wondering what I am doing wrong).
I hope things start working out soon.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Update
I just wanted to let everyone know that surgery is over and it went well. Now I just have to deal with the pain. But like Stacie said, at least I know that this pain will go away (she had the same pain prior to having her gb out). Although, I am afraid to eat anything that I wouldn't have eaten since I had the attack on the 18th. I guess that will be the true test. My mom did buy me a Twin Bing (a candy bar we always like to share when she comes to visit), but like I said, I am still afraid to try it. Although, if I don't try it soon, I think Grandma and Lukin might take it.
In other news, I think I am going to try to get a picture on here soon of me and my boys. We haven't even taken a picture of the 4 of us yet. That might be because of me and never thinking I look okay for a picture, but now that I am the mom of two and am in recovery from surgery, I think that the bad hair (or undone hair) is just the way it's going to be. We need to take one before Parker graduates from pre-school.
In other news, I think I am going to try to get a picture on here soon of me and my boys. We haven't even taken a picture of the 4 of us yet. That might be because of me and never thinking I look okay for a picture, but now that I am the mom of two and am in recovery from surgery, I think that the bad hair (or undone hair) is just the way it's going to be. We need to take one before Parker graduates from pre-school.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Countdown to Surgery
So, surgery is 9 am tomorrow morning (or today, the 7th, depending on when you read this). I am looking forward to it being done because I had three attacks since July 2nd and they weren't fun. I am nervous though to have surgery. I keep asking my sister questions since she is the only one I know who has had her gallbladder out, but her procedure was different than mine will be. I am quickly having my last meal before midnight (pretzels and milk) and then off to bed to catch a few quick zzz's before Parker wakes and needs to be fed before we go.
Later.
Later.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
First
So there was a first at our house on Friday, in the early am. And no, it wasn't for Parker, it was for me. I got to take my first trip to the ER.
You see, I woke up around 1:30 with pain in my upper ab area. It felt kind of like a cross between being ravenously hungry and feeling like I needed to throw up. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back, Sonny said we should go to the ER. I felt so crappy that I didn't even argue with him.
We left to go to Urgent Care but they were not open, so we stopped at the gas station and got a 7up and came home to eat saltines and drink a little of that. I thought maybe if I did that, the feeling would pass and I could go back to bed. But an hour later, I was feeling worse instead of better and the pain had spread to my back. So off we went again, this time to the ER.
It turned out that it was my gallbladder. They did an ultrasound and saw that I have gallstones. I will need to have it removed, but thankfully they did not admit me (they let me decide. and since it was Friday and we have a newborn at home, they didn't argue with letting us leave seeing as we probably wouldn't get in for surgery that day anyway.)
So, on Monday, we met with a surgeon who recommended having it removed, and so that is what we will do, but we have to wait for the appointment lady to call us tomorrow so we can set that up. I hope it's soon because I don't want to be worried about this for the rest of the summer.
You see, I woke up around 1:30 with pain in my upper ab area. It felt kind of like a cross between being ravenously hungry and feeling like I needed to throw up. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back, Sonny said we should go to the ER. I felt so crappy that I didn't even argue with him.
We left to go to Urgent Care but they were not open, so we stopped at the gas station and got a 7up and came home to eat saltines and drink a little of that. I thought maybe if I did that, the feeling would pass and I could go back to bed. But an hour later, I was feeling worse instead of better and the pain had spread to my back. So off we went again, this time to the ER.
It turned out that it was my gallbladder. They did an ultrasound and saw that I have gallstones. I will need to have it removed, but thankfully they did not admit me (they let me decide. and since it was Friday and we have a newborn at home, they didn't argue with letting us leave seeing as we probably wouldn't get in for surgery that day anyway.)
So, on Monday, we met with a surgeon who recommended having it removed, and so that is what we will do, but we have to wait for the appointment lady to call us tomorrow so we can set that up. I hope it's soon because I don't want to be worried about this for the rest of the summer.
Visitors
Here's the two pictures that I got from when my sister and her husband were here.
The one that Lukin refused to be a part of.
The one that Lukin would be in with Stacie and Mike.
The one that Lukin refused to be a part of.
The one that Lukin would be in with Stacie and Mike.
Brothers
A couple pictures of the boys
This would be a rare picture where Lukin was too tired (and snuggly) to try to avoid the camera.
Lukin looking at Parker (he thought I was looking at some other pictures so I could take pictures without him noticing...hehe.)
Lukin, the little brother entertainer.
Lukin had never tried to hold Parker before, but he was a natural when I set him up for the pictures.
He seems to enjoy being the big brother. That makes Mommy so proud of her big boy.
My favorite picture of my boys thus far.
This would be a rare picture where Lukin was too tired (and snuggly) to try to avoid the camera.
Lukin looking at Parker (he thought I was looking at some other pictures so I could take pictures without him noticing...hehe.)
Lukin, the little brother entertainer.
Lukin had never tried to hold Parker before, but he was a natural when I set him up for the pictures.
He seems to enjoy being the big brother. That makes Mommy so proud of her big boy.
My favorite picture of my boys thus far.
Perspective
So, I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately, or at least since I found out. One of my classmates from elementary through high school was also expecting a baby. I didn't really remember this until I came home from having my baby.
In fact, when I got a chance to get on the computer after coming home, I noticed that she had posted a comment on Facebook on June 10th about being tired of being pregnant and wanting to meet her little girl already. I could totally relate about 4 days prior. I also noticed that by that Saturday, many people were posting their condolences on her Facebook page, as the baby had died.
I felt so sad for her. I wanted to offer my condolences but felt like that would be inappropriate as I was now home with my newborn, who was alive, and she was mourning the loss of her little one.
My best friend helped me realize that all condolences are welcome and I posted mine anyway. I felt better having done that. It doesn't change anything, but lets her know I am thinking of her.
Then last night, I noticed that she had pictures of the baby on her Facebook page, and that brought me to tears again. It's just such a sad situation. I don't even really know what exactly happened, but I know that she lost her baby, and that is just so sad.
So, when I am up at 3:30 am to feed Parker, who eats well and then is wide awake, I should be thankful that I have the opportunity to be awake at 3:30 with my baby, and not be super tired or cranky that we are wide awake at 3:30 in the morning.
It just goes to show that sometimes people want what they don't have. For me, I would like a good night of sleep, but when I look at what the alternative could be, I will gladly get up with my little boy (or my big boy too), at any hour of the night. I just wish that my friend from school could be having that same opportunity.
In fact, when I got a chance to get on the computer after coming home, I noticed that she had posted a comment on Facebook on June 10th about being tired of being pregnant and wanting to meet her little girl already. I could totally relate about 4 days prior. I also noticed that by that Saturday, many people were posting their condolences on her Facebook page, as the baby had died.
I felt so sad for her. I wanted to offer my condolences but felt like that would be inappropriate as I was now home with my newborn, who was alive, and she was mourning the loss of her little one.
My best friend helped me realize that all condolences are welcome and I posted mine anyway. I felt better having done that. It doesn't change anything, but lets her know I am thinking of her.
Then last night, I noticed that she had pictures of the baby on her Facebook page, and that brought me to tears again. It's just such a sad situation. I don't even really know what exactly happened, but I know that she lost her baby, and that is just so sad.
So, when I am up at 3:30 am to feed Parker, who eats well and then is wide awake, I should be thankful that I have the opportunity to be awake at 3:30 with my baby, and not be super tired or cranky that we are wide awake at 3:30 in the morning.
It just goes to show that sometimes people want what they don't have. For me, I would like a good night of sleep, but when I look at what the alternative could be, I will gladly get up with my little boy (or my big boy too), at any hour of the night. I just wish that my friend from school could be having that same opportunity.
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