Why do I even have this thing?

So, I know it's been a while since I wrote in here but, I have been busy. If you have known me for any length of time, you know this is the story of my life.

But let me explain. Last week, we had conferences on Thursday ( I went from 1:00 to 6:00) even though they ran from 12:00 to 8:30. Then on Friday, since we didn't have any school, I was busy trying to clean before my friends got here. I got the upstairs completely done, but the basement only got partially done and my room looks atrocious (or however you spell that word).

We had fun on girls weekend even though I didn't have a voice. I have more of a voice now, but that could be because I stayed home sick today. I am still exhausted even though I slept most of the day.

I don't even really know what happened but at some time during the night, Sonny and I were talking and he said that I should stay home from work today and rest. I, of course, gave the story about how much I had to do at work. But when the alarm went off, I shut it off and fell back to sleep for another 45 minutes and then when I woke up, I realized that I was not up to par for going to work and so I did call in sick. When I asked Sonny why he had told me that in the middle of the night, he said that I had been coughing and didn't even know that I had been and that he was tempted to get up and run to Cub to get me some dayquil or something.

So, I have had a lot going on in my brain lately. I was just thinking about how much I miss my friend Laurie. I know I have probably never mentioned her before, and probably only 1 or 2 of you know who she is, but I miss her. She was a great listener and I miss her motherly advice.

I wonder if everyone who has ever had a child has wondered if they were a good parent. I constantly wonder that. I think that I could be a better parent and think that there is so much I should be doing for my son, but then I think about how he isn't even 6 months old yet and he (hopefully) isn't going to grow up to resent me for not reading and singing to him every day yet.

I feel this way because Lukin spent the weekend with Grandma, Grandpa and Daddy while I had girls weekend. I felt like he wouldn't even know me at the end of the weekend. I feel like as he gets older, we don't get to cuddle as much and I miss my cuddly little baby.

But don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the little boy he has become. He is so curious, even though he is only 5 1/2 months old. And I think he is so smart. Of course, every parent says that about their child, but I really think he is smart.

I miss home. There are times when I can ignore that and there are times when that thought consumes me. I miss having friends around. I miss being able to go and do things with fun people. I miss the ladies from Westwood last year. I had fun there. I felt like I belonged somewhat, there. I loved my coworkers. I wish I had fun people like that now. I wish there were people who would sit and have a conversation with me. I wish there were people who wanted to go and do stuff with me after work or on the weekends or something like last year. I miss socializing. I miss that side of me.

I know that I have said that before, but when I get lonely for interaction with people who aren't my husband or in-laws, that's what I think about. I miss having girlfriends to giggle with and do girly things with. And if any of my friends from last year read this, give me a call because I am lonesome for people to interact with on a social level and not just a professional level.

Better get to bed. I can't get better if I don't get plenty of rest.