The last couple of weeks have been especially sucky. Not only have I been carrying around the idea that no longer do I have a guaranteed job for next year, but that as the days go by, the job I have gets smaller and smaller. Currently, my outlook for next year is a .5 position.
So I was thinking, how do people get through these types of situation? And then I thought about alcohol. We all have had those weeks, or days, that we feel are never going to end, and if and when they do, we want a drink. I get that. There is something about the idea of having a drink that relaxes us and helps us feel better even if only for a little while.
But then there are those people who drink like there isn't going to be a tomorrow. I can't imagine that every day is just that unbearable that you would have to drink that much daily. (Now I have known alcoholics in my life and they would probably explain it very differently.
I don't care. I think that being an alcoholic is being selfish. Lately, I have had plenty of days that just seem unbearable. The weight of worrying about having a job, continuing to provide for my family so we don't have live in a box, along with the things I purpetually worry about, make me think I want a drink daily.
But I don't have one. I have responsibilities that I have to think about. The idea of just doing whatever I want doesn't seem as appealing when you have others to think about.
Of course, I am sure that someone will read this and try to tell me that it's not a choice. Whatever. Maybe being an alcoholic isn't a choice, but being a victim of it, and letting it consume you is.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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I think what you said is very true. When my mom quit drinking many years ago, she did so because she told herself that she had a family and that drinking was taking her away from that.
People who can drink socially, well, hurray, because you're not ruining anyone else's lives. But anyone who has lived with an alcoholic or dated one or married one or whatever, they know that alcoholics are very selfish. It's me me me 24 hours a day. It doesn't just affect and ruin their own lives, but everyone else's around them.
I don't believe alcoholism is a disease. I believe it's an addiction, and disease and addiction are two very different things. I think that is a huge mistake on the part of the recovery places that preach alcoholism as a disease - they take the responsibility for it right out of the alcoholics' hands. Truth is, the alcoholic is responsible. There is no cell mutation that causes it, nothing.
If alcoholism were a disease, tobacco-useage would be, caffeine useage, drug useage, anything. But it's addictive behavior and it's partly psychological. It's a behavior, not a medical problem.
Anyway, that's my twenty-five cents on that subject.
-Amanda
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