There's a light at each end of this tunnel. You shout, cuz you're just as far in as you'll ever be out.

Last entry's song title: Float On by Modest Mouse

I just wrote this big entry (and lost it) about how mad I am about Sonny's behavior this past weekend. We went to Grand Forks and he acted like he did when he wasn't a father or husband, he got to hang out with his friend. That pisses me off because I went to Grand Forks and I got to hang out with my friend, but I also had to be a mom because one of us has to have the little guy in toe.

He tried to square it away by saying that he was spending time with his family on Saturday. So?!? I would answer my phone, or at least have it turned on, while I was hanging out with my friend or family.

Without having to go into a lot of detail, this probably doesn't make a lot of sense. I'll try to give the brief rundown. I had Lukin Friday night. He didn't decide to go to sleep until 2 am. We were sharing an air mattress so it wasn't like I could let him play himself to sleep. He was up at 8 am. I was rushed to get ready. This doesn't make sense because we got up at 8 am to meet my family around 11 or so because that's so long to get ready. But we were rushing. I would try to call my husband when I went to lunch, and I tried to call him later to arrange supper because my sister was coming to town but couldn't get a hold of him for four hours. I was so mad at him, I can't even handle it.

Then on the drive home from the airport last night, I asked Sonny about this coming weekend, only to find out that he works on Mother's Day. I teared up immediately. (It could have been my sheer exhaustion from the weekend, or the fact that he had previously said, "You're not my mother.") I was hurt by that. I know that I didn't give birth to him, but I did give birth to his son and he shouldn't say mean shit like that. I am still very hurt and sad about that.

It's almost fitting that my mood fits the icky weather outside. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep.