A Christmas Blog Entry

Okay, so I know that it isn't really Christmas yet. However, I don't think I will be near a computer again for a few days so I thought I better send out my Christmas greeting now so that everyone who wanted to get it would.

Enjoy this recent picture of Lukin. He has been such a joy in the last month as we have watched him grow and as we have prepared for the holidays. It is going to be a very exciting holiday.

I should be finishing up with the gift wrapping, but I am not feeling stressed. This is something different for me if you know me at all. Besides, I am printing out pictures to hand out to any family or friends I might see over the break that want a new picture or two of the little man.

Well, I better go and do those things because I have been up since 5:30 (didn't get up when the alarm went off) and I need to get to bed soon.

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. If these holidays are not your bag, I wish you a peaceful time of celebration and hope you are able to spend some time with your family before the start of the new year.

Love to all.
~Jennifer

Ready for a Break

Okay. So I am so tired this week and was so tired last week. I am more than ready for the holiday break. Sorry. I mean Christmas break. That's what you get working in the school system.

The plan has been to leave on Thursday after work to head up to Fargo to spend Christmas with my Grandma and Nils. However, I have quite a few things that I still need to do before leaving. I need to make some more baby food so that we are stocked up for the trip. There are apples, pears, broccoli, cauliflower, parsnips, and carrots. I feel like I have written that before. Anyway, that's 6 kinds and we only have 4 ice cube trays...do you see my problem?

Well, I would be okay with going either Thursday or Friday. But Friday would be a little less stressful for the next 48 hours for me. But we will see. Maybe as it approaches, I will be so anxious to get home to see family and friends that it won't matter to me that we will leave late and I will have much stress before leaving.

Okay, better go home and make baby food now.

okay, okay, I'll write in here already...

I know it has been a week since I last wrote. I also know that those of you who attempt to read this would like it if there was some consistency to my blogging. And even though it is the Christmas season, to those of you I say Bah Humbug.

Now it's not that I am anti-Christmas. I am just so exhausted from trying to get ready for Christmas. I have been up til midnight or later every day since at least Thursday. That is just wrong. But there is so much that I need to get done. Of course, one of the biggest things for me to get done is to finish the present for my parents that I have been working on. (I am pretty sure that they don't read my blog since they don't use the computer often. But just in case, I won't mention what it is.) The next biggest task is wrapping gifts. Now I started on Friday night, I think. I wrapped 12 that night. Then the next night I wrapped 10. Yesterday I think I wrapped about 5 or 6 (not as many) and I still have the main gifts for my family and Amanda and our drawn names left to wrap. Although, I think that Carin said that they were going to keep Lukin overnight tonight after we do Christmas with them. That way she can be home around 8 am when her father stops by. That would be great because then I can wrap some more gifts and get some decent sleep.

Of course, there is a certain amount of cooking that needs to be done too. Tonight, I have to make some bars for work tomorrow. I am going to make Oatmeal Carmelitas. They are really good. I hope the staff likes them as well. And not that making those bars will take a long time but I also need to make some more baby food before we go to North Dakota. We have Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots, and Parsnips in the fridge for veggies to make and apples and pears for fruit to make. I want them all done by Wednesday (fat chance) so that if we leave Thursday after work, everything will be ready.

So, this weekend I colored my hair again. It is very red. Of course, that's what the box said it would be, but usually they are not so vibrant. Maybe it's because I have been posing as a redhead for so long that the red really takes in my hair. I was worried about the color though because the stuff was coming out the bottle, when I first started applying it, as a Kool-Aid orange color. Yikes!

Well, I am going to go. I don't have any work to work on, except for my post-observation worksheet and I could work on stuff for my other school, but I am too tired to try to think that hard today.

More baby food and the never ending pile of stuff

Yesterday I spent my day getting my Christmas cards ready to mail. That took forever partly because of the computer we have been having lately and partly because I didn't have all the addresses that I needed. But it eventually got done and we even have two cards left if we need anymore.

I spend most of the morning making baby food. We have moved into the vegetables. I made: Sweet potato & Broccoli, Buttercup Squash, (since there was so much squash I made) buttercup squash & broccoli, and Trio of Root (sweet potato, parsnip, and carrot). I think he will like them because he likes people food.

However, even though I spent the time to get those two things done, I felt like I didn't accomplish anything yesterday and so I went to bed and as I was exhaling, I started to cry. I feel like I will never get caught up on anything. I don't know if this is normal with being a new parent: the perpetual feeling that you leave everything half finished for the next several years, or if it's just me. If anyone can offer any advice, I would appreciate it.

2 hours or $229. Which would you do?

Okay, so last night I called Dell to remedy our computer situation since I had finally received the disks that they had sent to me to try to fix the problem. Well, I called and I got this guy and he told me that before we could begin, he wanted to make sure that we had backed up all my documents because we were going to completely reconfigure my computer and everything that was on there would be erased forever. I didn't know that. I asked if he could help me and he told me that he wasn't trained for that. Well. So the guy tells me that I will have to find a technician or someone who can help with that to save all my materials before we do this thing. So I get off the phone and call Geek Squad. They charge, you guessed it, $229 to come out and do this for me. I could hardly breathe when he told me the amount, but I reluctantly set up the appointment.

Then I got off the phone and told Sonny and he was concerned, as was I. I called my friend, Greg, to see if he could help but he thought, and I concurred that calling Dell back, because they should be able to help me, would be a better (and cheaper) option. So I called back and I talked to 'Ann'. She was awesome. She and I were on the phone for 2 hours troubleshooting. We were trying to fix the problem so we didn't have to lose everything in the computer. It would take another woman to realize how important the stuff in the computer is. She helped me to open the tower and take out the video card. I didn't even know that I could know what that stuff was. But now I do.

But anyway, we get it fixed, or so it seems and we get off the phone and I go to eat supper, call and cancel the geek squad appt. and call Greg to tell him it's fixed (but my cell is dead by this point), and by the time I do those things and go to the computer to start, it's frozen again.

Well, it told me to restart and fingers crossed I did it and here we are. I hope that doesn't happen again. Although I need to figure out how to save all my pictures to a disk and all my music to a disk.

And to think, this all started when I wanted to make labels so I could send out my Christmas cards...

A broken computer, carrots, and public access.

Good morning.

So I have to tell you all that although you were all probably missing my blog a whole bunch (giggle), but our computer at home won't turn on. Well, you can turn it on but then it gets stuck on the XP start screen. I was on the phone with Dell for 45 minutes on Saturday, and we didn't get it fixed because I don't know where the disks for the computer are. So that's why I couldn't blog for a few days. We are hoping to get the new disks and get it fixed by the end of this week, fingers crossed.

So last week we made the first batch of baby food. We made carrots. It wasn't hard. You put carrots in just enough water to cover them, add a pat of unsalted butter, and simmer them until soft. Then you process them and put them in ice cube trays to freeze and then you have single servings when you need.

I don't know what made me decide that we wanted to make our own babyfood. Maybe it was cost, maybe just the idea of doing something really good for my son, but I feel like something is weird about it. I mean, I wasn't breastfed, but I breastfeed. I wasn't given homemade babyfood, at least I don't think I was, but I make it. Oh well. I think it was a good decision. I think it will serve him well. Then last night, I made pear baby food, then apple baby food, then apple-pear-cinnamon baby food. They all taste really good. I sample the stuff left in the processor. It's great.

Lastly, I wanted to let everyone who reads this know that I changed the setting so that everyone who wants to post a comment should be able to now. If anyone tries it and it doesn't work, pleasee let me know and I will fiddle with the setting again.

My head spins and I'm tired, but why?

So it's the end of another work week at Dakota Ridge. And although I am busy all day long, and I feel like my head is spinning by the end of it all, I don't feel like I ever seem to get anything done. I mean, I had really good intentions of getting a bunch of stuff accomplished but as I cross one thing off the list, I seem to add three more. It makes me feel like I don't even want to begin.

So here's the question of the day. I am Christmas shopping (well not now but eventually) and I was thinking about one of the people I want to shop for. This person is currently going through this phase where they don't feel like anything fits them. I think that I could get them something that fits but it may be the next size larger than what the person currently wears (or think they wear but doesn't fit). My question is: would that be mean? And NO, the person is not me. Although I do feel like that sometimes.

I suppose I better clean off my desk and get my happy little butt home. I wanted to stay and hang some garland and stuff tonight but I am running out of energy. Not like I am going to go home and run some marathon or anything but I think I have stuff I want to do there.

Better go because I need to go before I go on the chair. :)

What the...?!?

So here it is, November 28th and it looks so dark outside that you would think it was pre-sunrise outside. But no, it's almost 9 am and there is a thunderstorm going on right now. A THUNDERSTORM!! What is up with that? We are supposed to be having snow and stuff this time of year, not thunderstorms. Oy. Anyway, I am ready for winter weather. It feels like it shouldn't even be time to decorate for Christmas since there is no snow yet.

I just had to mention that it was storming. I better go work now. Have a great day!!!

Good ole Thanksgiving

This past weekend was Thanksgiving, for those of you living under a rock. Scott, Lukin and I had a busy weekend. We had originally planned to drive up to Cavalier on Wednesday after school. Of course, we probably wouldn't have left our house until 5 and then trying to get out of the cities would have been interesting. So my parents, being the wonderful people they are, offered to come and pick us up at the airport. The only problem was that we couldn't get a flight into Grand Forks. So we had to fly into Winnepeg. But Mom and Dad were so excited to see Lukin (and they said us too but we know. we know.) that they came up to Winnepeg to pick us up. That was weird really. I mean we flew out of the US to fly into Canada, to drive back into the US.

So when we got there, Grandpa took the baby right away to change his pants. Lukin had this look on his face like, who is this stranger taking me away from my mom. It was cute. Then we went to A&W before heading back to the states.

We went to Cando for Thanksgiving. That was fun. I love getting together with people to play games and eat. We could do that every week and give it a different name. I know we could call it the weekend!! It was fun though. Pretty much everyone there had a turn to hold the baby. I think Lukin enjoyed all the attention. I guess he had a time where my mom, auntie Boo and Lukin were sitting in one of the livingrooms and Lukin was talking up a storm to Auntie Boo. I bet that was cute. I was busy playing ImagineIFF. It's a pretty fun game.

Friday we hung out at home. We were supposed to head to Grand Forks for the UND hockey game. But Dad and Sonny were having some father-in-law/son-in-law bonding time putting up the Christmas lights outside. He wanted to skimp on some of the trees and he came in to ask mom about it and he asked if he would need to put three strands of lights on each tree and overload the circuit. I was like "go for it Clark." If you get that, you are awesome.

We ended up not going to the game and we stayed at home and went out for supper and then spent the evening playing cards and watching the hockey game on tv.

Saturday, mom sent me and Sonny out the door pretty early. We were in GF by lunch time. Amanda and I went ot lunch and hung out for the afternoon. It was kind of sad when I had to go to the game because I wanted to hang out more with Amanda. I miss you Amanda!!! (fake crying ensues...)

After the game, we went back to Cavalier and went to bed. We got up around 10 am on Sunday and got ready to head back up to Winnepeg to catch a flight home. When we got back, we went for supper with Carin and Dan and then went home and that was the end of our Thanksgiving weekend.

A "Special" Kind of Crazy

So last night, I went to the MOA to go to a create-a-calendar workshop. This could potentially be a Christmas gift for my mom, but she doesn't use the computer so she won't be reading this.

Anyway, so I go to Archiver's for this workshop and they supply you with everything you need to do this book all in one place. And for those of you who do this, it was a reasonable $22 for all the supplies and the instruction. Seeing as I have never done this before, I thought it would be a fun Christmas gift for my mom that I would fill with pictures of Lukin. My whole family would love that.

Anyway, so I am at this thing and it's going pretty well until she starts going at this type of breakneck speed. I can't keep up because this is not my thing. Oh my gosh, it's so unorganized and a big mess. I decided that those people who do this to relax have to be a special kind of crazy. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love my friends who do this, but they are a little nuts because it didn't seem very relaxing to me!!

Need a few more days in a week.

So as strange as this sounds, I need a few more days in a week. I need enough days to be a good speech path at my three buildings, to be a good mom, to be a good wife, and to have some friends again (living in the south part of the city is lonesome). So if we estimate that, I would probably need at least 4 full days at my .5 school, at least 3 at my .4 school and at least 1 day at my .1 school. Then I need at least 1 day for just friends, two days for being a good wife and three days for being a good mom. So if I was able to devote the entire day, with no distractions to that days deed, I think I would not feel so scatterbrained all the time. Of course, my weeks would have to have 14 day weeks. Wait a minute, I just need to have this cycle go in two weeks. But I may need longer days too. I will have to get back to you on that. :)

So I was worried that I was pregnant again. I can't remember to take my pills for love or money. Maybe if I had been on them for years and years, but 5 months just isn't long enough to engrave something in my scattered brain. I know that I didn't share this info with anyone but I wanted to wait til I knew for sure first. I got my visitor over lunch today so we don't have to worry anymore about having a brother for Lukin any time soon.

Today at work, something sad happened. I found out that one of the teacher's wife lost their second child. They went into the doctor two days ago and found out that the baby was dead. She is supposed to deliver it today. That really set the tone for the day. I feel bad for them. It's a depressing feeling.

That's all for now.

T. G. I. A. (almost) F.

So what do I know today? Well, I am glad that it is almost Friday, not because the week has been that exhausting but that it's hard to have a 5 day week after a nice break with a shorter week.

I came home from work today with a sense of accomplishment. Usually, Deanna leaves me this list of things that she didn't get to do before she left on Wednesday and then I have my own list to deal with, but today I got her short list as well as mine done. That means that tomorrow I will get to use my prep time to relax (or as I have been finding myself doing lately), researching weaning from breast feeding.

I should have my friend Cami tell me about how she managed to feed her son for so long. I am very disheartened. Yesterday, I pumped 1.75 oz at work. My son can eat 6+ oz at a sitting. This equation doesn't work out. I feel so bad. But I think that dwelling on it is just making my production go down. Well, that and worrying about all the things I worry about.

Tomorrow night is date night. Sonny and I are going to go out to dinner and then we are going to Saw III. Yeah, I know. How romantic. But I want to see it and so does he so it will be fun. I am just looking forward to the part where we get to go out on a Friday night. I swear I spend most of my Friday nights at home tending to baby nowadays. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just the way it is.

Well, ER will be on soon and I want to finish up a couple more tasks before then. Have a swell weekend!!

"Down in the Dumps" aka: The biggest loser

So, I have been down in the dumps since girls weekend ended. It was great to have my friends here and to get to do fun stuff and be silly and have a good time. I miss being in North Dakota so I could do that more often. Of course, Sonny knows this and he feels bad about it, but there isn't really anything that we can do, except for win the lottery, which is kind of out of our hands. I have friends down here in the cities, at least I consider them my friends, I just live on the opposite side of the city and we don't get together as often as I would like.

Now don't get me wrong, but coming into my work environment this year is totally different. I am not viewed the same coming in as a married mother as I was as a single, childless woman. Maybe the meaning for married mother is boring, so no one asks you to do stuff because they think you are probably boring. I know that to not be true but who knows what anyone else thinks? Although it probably has a lot to do with the type of environment you work in too.

So I was thinking about how I like to blog so that everyone can know what I have been up to, but that a blog is not as personal as a journal and so I maybe don't write as much about what I am feeling as I would in a journal. In that sense, a blog is not as therapeutic as a journal. So is this not even helping me?!? What?!?

I have this feeling that I already wrote all the stuff that I am writing today. I need to do lesson plans so that I can get out of here at a decent time, but chances are, I won't get them done today. It would be really nice though to throw my things to do list away since this seems to be the only recurring thing.

Well, I better go try to start that task, and for those of you who got emails from me today, I miss everyone so please, remember me next time you are bored and want someone to hang out with!!

Why do I even have this thing?

So, I know it's been a while since I wrote in here but, I have been busy. If you have known me for any length of time, you know this is the story of my life.

But let me explain. Last week, we had conferences on Thursday ( I went from 1:00 to 6:00) even though they ran from 12:00 to 8:30. Then on Friday, since we didn't have any school, I was busy trying to clean before my friends got here. I got the upstairs completely done, but the basement only got partially done and my room looks atrocious (or however you spell that word).

We had fun on girls weekend even though I didn't have a voice. I have more of a voice now, but that could be because I stayed home sick today. I am still exhausted even though I slept most of the day.

I don't even really know what happened but at some time during the night, Sonny and I were talking and he said that I should stay home from work today and rest. I, of course, gave the story about how much I had to do at work. But when the alarm went off, I shut it off and fell back to sleep for another 45 minutes and then when I woke up, I realized that I was not up to par for going to work and so I did call in sick. When I asked Sonny why he had told me that in the middle of the night, he said that I had been coughing and didn't even know that I had been and that he was tempted to get up and run to Cub to get me some dayquil or something.

So, I have had a lot going on in my brain lately. I was just thinking about how much I miss my friend Laurie. I know I have probably never mentioned her before, and probably only 1 or 2 of you know who she is, but I miss her. She was a great listener and I miss her motherly advice.

I wonder if everyone who has ever had a child has wondered if they were a good parent. I constantly wonder that. I think that I could be a better parent and think that there is so much I should be doing for my son, but then I think about how he isn't even 6 months old yet and he (hopefully) isn't going to grow up to resent me for not reading and singing to him every day yet.

I feel this way because Lukin spent the weekend with Grandma, Grandpa and Daddy while I had girls weekend. I felt like he wouldn't even know me at the end of the weekend. I feel like as he gets older, we don't get to cuddle as much and I miss my cuddly little baby.

But don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the little boy he has become. He is so curious, even though he is only 5 1/2 months old. And I think he is so smart. Of course, every parent says that about their child, but I really think he is smart.

I miss home. There are times when I can ignore that and there are times when that thought consumes me. I miss having friends around. I miss being able to go and do things with fun people. I miss the ladies from Westwood last year. I had fun there. I felt like I belonged somewhat, there. I loved my coworkers. I wish I had fun people like that now. I wish there were people who would sit and have a conversation with me. I wish there were people who wanted to go and do stuff with me after work or on the weekends or something like last year. I miss socializing. I miss that side of me.

I know that I have said that before, but when I get lonely for interaction with people who aren't my husband or in-laws, that's what I think about. I miss having girlfriends to giggle with and do girly things with. And if any of my friends from last year read this, give me a call because I am lonesome for people to interact with on a social level and not just a professional level.

Better get to bed. I can't get better if I don't get plenty of rest.

Six Degrees of Disabilities

So today when I was driving back from Shannon Park, I realized that life with my sister was not that bad. I'm not saying that it was ever bad but people tend to view disabilities differently. I was thinking about how there are those who are physically disabled, like my sister was and then there are those students with ADHD. Those are the students that I work with that at the end of the day, I am so happy that they go home and I don't have to deal with them. Heck, I am happy when my 30 minutes with those students is over. I feel bad for the parents/guardians who have to tend to them all evening.

Living with Stephanie was the way it was. I didn't really grow up without her so I can't compare it to that. But I think that it was pretty easy because Stephanie was really laid back and she didn't complain and she didn't bounce around like Hammie in Over the Hedge. She was just 'normal' to us. But there are those people who would say that those with ADHD are more 'normal'. They would say in order to have a meaningful existence, you must be 'normal'. Whatever that is.

I guess both of these disabilities have their level of drain on those around them. Those with ADHD may be able to be mobile but may mentally exhaust you, whereas someone with a physical disability may be physically draining on a person. It just makes you think, which would want to have as part of your life daily: mental wear and tear or physical wear and tear. Putting it that way doesn't give me the results I would want to say. I just think one couldn't deal with the mental exhaustion as well. I know I couldn't, but I'm just one person, and I have just one opinion to share.

Can't Get Enough...

I love the picture of little man from the entry below this one. The one where he is on his tummy. He is so freaking cute!!

I had many profound things that I wanted to say but now I cant figure out what they were for the life of me.

I was under the weather this weekend. I came home from dinner with Lukin and my mother-in-law on Friday night with a headache, a sore throat and was aching all over. I also was sooooo cold. It wasn't good.

So because I wasn't feeling good, I snapped at Lukin once that evening because I felt so crappy and Sonny was at work until 11:00. I was getting frustrated with how he was so tired but wouldn't just settle and go to sleep. So I said, "Little Man, You need to go to sleep!" He just looked at me, probably surprised by the volume of my voice. I waited a few seconds for him to start crying because I said that and then I was the one who started crying because I felt bad for getting frustrated with him. He doesn't know that mommy doesn't feel well. He doesn't even know what 'doesn't feel well' means. So that's why I felt so bad. I know, I know, "worst mother ever."

Saturday we went to the UND vs. Mankato hockey game. It was fun. Then we went to Mystic Lake Casino. That was pretty fun too. I got to sleep for most of the day. That was really nice. I feel better now because of it.

Today we did a bunch of stuff out and about. We went and bought groceries and other misc. stuff that we needed at Target. We went to Baby Depot and bought Lukin a car seat cover thing so he doesn't have to wear a bulky coat. And then we went to Best Buy to price a flat screen monitor. We stopped at Walgreens so we could get some Halloween candy since they seemed to be lacking at Target and we stopped at Kohl's to get some thicker socks for Lukin. Of course, this is in no particular order. We also went to El Loro for Lunch and Byerly's for dinner.

So I have about 4 more nights before my friends are coming for girl's weekend and I still don't have this place unpacked. I hope they don't mind because I am not gonna have a whole lot of time to work with anyway. We are going to the Vikes game tomorrow and then on Tuesday, Lukin and I will be handing out candy to the little ones. So we will have Wednesday evening and whatever time on Thursday after I come home from Conferences. It should be a fun week. I hope they don't mind a mess.

Well, better go do more stuff.

Guess who's back? Back again? Me and L-man

Rock'n'Roll. I am back. I am composing this my first blog entry from Eagan, MN. Wow. It's weird how we have this set up. It's like there is nothing to look at while you are at the computer. Oh well, it's probably just as well because with a wee one, it's not like we are gonna spend a lot of time on the computer anymore anyway.

So the days are ticking away until Girl's weekend. I am still not unpacked. But my husband decided that we are not going to go anywhere fantastic this weekend. We are going to go to the hockey game in Mankato and then hit a casino. That would be fun and, I am guessing, a whole lot less exhausting.

Today, we had to stay an extra two hours after school to get ready for conferences. That was fun. 44 students and 26 time slots. That and I am not going to be present for all 26, more like 8 time slots because I am not at that building full time. It makes me tired and/or my head spin just to think about it.

Yesterday after school, Stephanee and I were talking about the set up for speech people and how I had that dream about my base school getting ripped off. She said that people think of that building as a program and not a fully functioning school...but that's a whole other rant.

It just got me to thinking. I enjoy that building, and those co-workers. And that just scares me. I really liked the building that I worked in last year. Or rather, I liked the staff I worked with last year. Well, I liked them all last year. However, by the end of the year, I was jaded and felt somewhat betrayed by a couple of them. Granted there is still a pretty good handful of people that I still keep in touch with, albeit, not very frequently, because they are great. But the others, not so much.

I mean that whole ending situation last year just made me really sad. And I had to wonder where it came from. Who at the building was so miserable that they decided to go after my job? Whoever it was, sucks.

Anyway, I digress. I better wrap this up because I need to print out my schedule for conferences before I go to bed. But, I will leave you with some pictures of the L-Man from last weekend when we went home.

Have a great weekend.

A need for rewording

So last night, I was telling Sonny about my entry for yesterday, and he said, "Did you have to say 'reconnect'? It makes it sound like you don't like me." I attempted to reassure him that most of the people who read this are moms and they understand what I meant. In case you thought what Sonny thought, I want to clarify.

I assumed that most of the readers would understand that I meant that because we have a baby we don't get to be a couple very much any more. This is a common thing that happens when people have a child. The child becomes the center of the universe and their time that they used to spend together is now consumed by diaper changes, touch and feel books, and feedings. When I said that I wanted to get away to reconnect with him, I meant, I wanted to go away, just the two of us, for some 'us' time. I hope that resolves any confusion. :)

A BIT OF A MOUTHFUL

SO NOW I AM DRAINED AND SNACKING ON MY BAKED LAYS FROM LUNCH AT PANERA DURING YESTERDAY'S WORKSHOPS.

YESTERDAY, MY HUSBAND TOLD ME THAT HE GOT A PHONE CALL FROM ONE OF HIS FRIENDS ASKING WHY HE (MY HUSBAND) LETS ME WRITE THE THINGS I DO IN HERE. MY HUSBAND IS PRETTY LAID BACK AND TOOK THE COMMENT IN STRIDE. HE BASICALLY SAID THAT THERE ISN'T ANYTHING HE COULD DO TO GET ME TO NOT WRITE WHAT I WRITE. BESIDES, HE THEN TOLD HIS FRIEND THAT HE DOESN'T TEND TO READ MY BLOG BECAUSE HE LIVES IT.

I DON'T THINK THAT WHAT I WRITE IS OFFENSIVE. I THINK IT'S MY TRUTH. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ. I PERSONALLY DON'T FEEL THAT IT IS UNACCEPTABLE TO MENTION LUKIN'S REAL BIRTHDAY. IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW WHEN HE WAS DUE AND COULDN'T DO THE MATH IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO. SERIOUSLY.

BUT THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT. JUST LIKE SONNY CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO WRITE IN HERE, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT HIS FRIENDS NOT APPROVING OF WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

LAST NIGHT I HAD TO TRY TO PUT THE BOY TO BED THREE TIMES. EACH TIME I WAS UNSUCCESSFUL. SERIOUSLY. I WANTED HIM TO GO TO SLEEP SO THAT I COULD LAY HIM DOWN AND CUT HIS NAILS. SO WE WOULD ROCK-A-BYE AND THEN WHEN HE WAS ASLEEP, I WOULD LAY HIM ON THE FLOOR ON HIS BLANKEY SO THAT I COULD CLIP HIS NAILS. THE MINUTE, NAY, THE SECOND I LAID HIM DOWN, HE WOULD START TO WAIL. KID. I WANT YOU TO SLEEP SO I CAN CUT YOUR CLAWS BEFORE YOU REALLY DO SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT. LONG STORY A LITTLE SHORTER: HE DIDN'T GET HIS NAILS CUT.

SO I GUESS THAT I LIED ABOUT GETTING PICTURES OF LUKIN ON HERE TODAY. I CAN'T REALLY DO IT UNTIL I HAVE INTERNET ACCESS AT HOME. I HOPE THAT WE HAVE IT SOON BECAUSE I'M GETTING SERIOUSLY ANNOYED WITH THIS SETUP.

MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WORK ON SATURDAY OR SUNDAY (READ FRIDAY AND SATURDAY FOR THOSE OF US WHO DON'T TEND TO GET UP AT 2 AM). SO I AM TRYING TO GET HIM TO GO DO SOMETHING WITH ME. I FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PARENT SAYING THAT I WANT TO GET AWAY, BUT I DO. I NEED A LITTLE BREATHER, A LITTLE ESCAPE WITH MY HUSBAND TO REGROUP AND RECONNECT SO THAT I CAN REFUEL TO KEEP GOING UNTIL AT LEAST THANKSGIVING. THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THE WHOLE WANTING TO GET AWAY THING IS THAT THE WEEKEND AFTER IS GIRLS WEEKEND. THAT IN ITSELF, IS NOT PROBLEMATIC. HOWEVER, THE FACT THAT I AM GETTING COMPANY NEXT WEEK AND STILL HAVE A TOWNHOUSE IN BOXES IS NOT GOOD.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ANYWAY? NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, WE HAVE LIVED THERE ALMOST A MONTH AND I STILL DON'T HAVE EVERYTHING UNPACKED. NOW I FEEL REALLY GUILTY ABOUT WANTING TO DO SOMETHING FUN THIS WEEKEND. MY POOR HUSBAND HAS TO LIVE IN MY MESS. NOT ONLY DO I NOT COOK AND CLEAN FOR HIM, I DON'T UNPACK EITHER.

TODAY IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS AT WORK. I GOT A HALLOWEEN TEDDY BEAR FROM A PSA AT SHANNON PARK FOR LUKIN. THEN WHEN I CAME BACK FROM SP, OUR COMPUTER PERSON CAME IN AND GAVE ME TWO CHEERIO SNACK THINGS FOR WHEN LUKIN IS OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE SNACKIES.

WELL, THAT'S ABOUT ALL I GOT FOR NOW. BETTER FINISH UP WHAT I WAS DOING SO I CAN GO HOME.

Hungry

ALL CAPS AGAIN TODAY BECAUSE I STILL DON'T HAVE INTERNET AT MY PLACE. I AM HOPING THAT THIS ISSUE WILL BE RESOLVED BY THE TIME I COME HOME FROM WORK TODAY. HOWEVER, IN CASE THAT IS NOT THE CASE, I WILL WRITE THIS NOW. I SHOULD GO PUMP, AND THEN RANT AWAY. MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY AND I WON'T LET MYSELF HAVE A SNACK UNTIL I PUMP. SO I SHALL RETURN.

MY LONG WEEKEND

ALRIGHT, SO I AM DOING THIS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE FONT BIGGER WHILE I AM CHECKING THIS ON A MAC. SO IF YOU HAVE ANY HELPFUL HINTS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. HOWEVER, I AM HOPING THAT MAKING IT ALL CAPS, SOMEONE WILL BE ABLE TO READ IT. :)

OKAY, SO WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO? WELL WE HAD A LONG WEEKEND AND LITTLE MAN AND I WENT UP TO CAVALIER. WE PACKED WEDNESDAY AFTER SCHOOL AND TOOK THE 10:00 FLIGHT TO GRAND FORKS. WE STAYED OVERNIGHT WITH AMANDA AND THEN DAD AND STACIE CAME TO GET US ON THURSDAY AFTER STACIE GOT DONE WITH WORK.

FRIDAY WAS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL. IT WAS MY SLOTHFUL DAY FOR THE WEEKEND. LUKIN AND I JUST SLEPT A LOT AND HE ATE WHEN HE WAS HUNGRY AND I ATE BECAUSE I LIKE TO EAT.

SATURDAY, LUKIN, MOM, STACIE AND I WENT SHOPPING. I HAD TO LET LUKIN TOUCH EVERYTHING THAT WAS SOFT SO HE WOULDN'T BE CRABBY. THEN HE FELL ASLEEP, AND THEN I COULD JUST SHOP AND NOT WORRY ABOUT BAD BABY.

SPEAKING OF BAD BABY, I WILL HAVE NEW PICTURES ON HERE TOMORROW OR AFTER MY NEXT BLOG BECAUSE I TOOK A TON THIS WEEKEND AND NOW EVERYONE WANTS COPIES AND I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU, MY FAITHFUL READERS, SHOULD NOT GET TO SEE MY BOY TOO.

SUNDAY WE CAME HOME. I ALWAYS FEEL SAD FOR MY PARENTS BECAUSE THEY LOVE LITTLE MAN SO MUCH AND IT JUST BREAKS THEIR HEART WHEN WE HAVE TO COME HOME. MY MOM ALWAYS BUYS LOTTERY TICKETS WHEN WE GO UP THERE SO THAT IF SHE WINS, WE CAN ALL STAY TOGETHER AND ALL BE IN THE SAME PLACE.

SO THAT'S A BREAKDOWN OF MY WEEKEND.

TO THE LADIES THAT I WORKED WITH LAST YEAR: WHEN ARE WE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER GET TOGETHER? I AM GAME. AFTER A RECENT WEEKEND HOME, I REALIZED THAT I NEED MORE LAUGHTER AND YOU LADIES WERE GOOD ABOUT MAKING ME LAUGH WHEN I NEEDED TO LAST YEAR.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Cordially invited to my bathroom...

Okay, so I think I worked pretty hard this weekend, but all that I feel like I got accomplished was cleaning my bathroom. I cleaned it from top to bottom, and unpacked it all. It looks fantastic. It's kind of a cross between my bathroom in Jamestown and the one at West Ridge.

Lukin was a monster yesterday. I am not exactly sure who cried more: me or him. I couldn't figure out what to do to get him to stop crying. He needed to take a nap but he didn't feel compelled to sleep between 8:30 am and 8:45 pm. He did doze off for about 15 minutes during two different times during the day. But as you can probably figure, that's not nearly enough time to make a difference when he's 5 months old. That wasn't even enough time for me to catch my breath. I'm not even kidding that he cried most of the day. The best I could figure was that it was one of the following: A. Overly tired, B. Teething, C. Tummy hurt from not having a BM since Thursday or Friday (I can't remember), or D. All of the above. I would go with D. But who knows? I was joking to my husband that Lukin would probably be an angel for his parents today because he was so naughty yesterday. He's probably wore out.

Side note: I am sure that Lukin would appreciate me talking about his BMs if he were older.

It's nearly 4:30 and I am not the last one here. That's impressive. I will wrap this up and see if I can not be the last one today. That would be a nice change of pace. Although, since I need to finish up goals for 4 IEPs by tomorrow, I think I will have to have some homework tonight. Fun for me.

Three days my ass...

Okay, so I know it has been more than the three days that I said it would take for me to get back into my blog. However, we were busy last week with UND's homecoming and we are still knee deep in boxes (okay, they are all my boxes or Lukin's, but whatever.)

So what have we missed out on? Well, I had a birthday last week. Yay. Now that I have a kid, birthdays are still fun to have but they are not as much fun. It's like yay, we get to go out for supper, but we can't get lit up because we are taking the in-laws and the baby. Great. I'm just saying. It's not that I don't love my in-laws and we know I love my son, but seriously.

Then the weekend up in Grand Forks was awesome! It made me realize something. There are different versions of me. There's the me that was up in Grand Forks this past weekend who is lots of fun and laughs more than anywhere else. Then there is the me that lives here and is serious and doesn't have a really close friend that I can share everything with. And if I did, I don't see them anymore. (Read: I miss the ladies I worked with last year.)

Oh yeah, the move went smoothly. Or so I was told, since I was at work. I think that was pretty slick. My husband probably appreciated that my bossiness wasn't around. Nice.

This week has just been overwhelming. I have never moved to a new place with a son and husband. I feel all this pressure to get everything unpacked and put away and at the same time I have to spend time with my son and husband. My husband says that I don't need to worry about getting everything taken care of yet but it's hard not to feel bad that his stuff has been unpacked for days and mine hasn't.

Meanwhile, my husband and son went to a lutefisk feed tonight. I get to stay home because maybe I will get some stuff done while they are gone. But I am not getting a whole lot done while sitting at work still. Can you even believe that I have access to this from work?!? That's awesome.

Well, better get out of here. I don't think they went so I could sit at work all night, even though I have plenty to do here too.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...unless it means I get a shorter drive to work...

So this is it: My final blog entry from Oakdale, MN. For sad. I know that the blog will seem so different when I move those 15 minutes south.

So I think I got almost everything done. I have to pack my bathroom stuff after I use it tomorrow. The only thing that still needs to be packed is the laundry closet stuff. I wonder if Sonny is going to do that or if that is my distinct priviledge?

Tomorrow is School Spirit Day at school. This means that you have to wear the school colors, or if you don't have school colors, in 6th grade you wear black, 7th wears green, and 8th wears white. I'm gonna wear all three in layers. However, it is also picture day. Thank goodness that I packed something decent to wear. Otherwise, I would look like a big dork. And NO that isn't a common look for me.

The sad thing is that tomorrow is a hair washing day and I have to get the rest of the stuff out to my car. This means I will have the joy of getting up at 4 am to accomplish all these things. I am pretty stoked about that. I wonder how the black in my jacket will go with the black circles under my eyes in the pictures? Good thing one of the school colors is black.

But I'm cool Amanda.

Thank you Amanda for reminding me what kind of AWESOME packer I am. Poor Sonny read the comments from you and was like, "Sure, she can say it and get away with it and you laugh but if I said it..." Love you Sonny.

If you haven't checked your email, please do so. We move on Friday and I have sent all the new info on how to get a hold of us.

Today on the drive home there was a UPS truck on fire on the side of the road. It was hard not to look, but at the same time I felt bad for the driver guy. That must suck.

Tomorrow will be my last blog until we move and get set up with internet again. That is supposed to happen on Monday so we will try to get to it then.

I had something really cool that I wanted to share but I don't remember anymore. Oh well.

I have packed all my wardrobe. That makes it feel like I have accomplished something.

Better get back to packing. I had 9 things on a things to do list tonight besides the regular list of 6 and I am on about number 3. Way to be me.

T-minus 3 days and counting...

So if you know me at all, you can probably figure that I am stressed out because this is the big moving week. It's stressing me out that I am not moving during the summer when I can be in total control of everything. It's stressing me out that Sonny has taken the week off to spearhead this on his own. That scares me.

Now, don't get me wrong, Sonny is a wonderful husband. He always says that my coworkers would be so envious if they knew that my husband cooks and cleans, and they might. But (and I trust that he won't read this because like I said before he 'lives' it) I just wish that he would understand my complete need for structure (read complete anal retention) when it comes to situations where things need to be done in a timely fashion.

For example, today I left the note for him to partially pack the kitchen and the front closet. He packs almost all the closet, which is good, and almost all the kitchen, including all the food, which is bad. Three days without any food except what is in the fridge? I am not so sure about that.

This whole move thing is getting to me though. I absolutely had no focus today at work. I didn't have any pullout kids because they were testing, I had a meeting and I had so much work to catch up on. I wonder how in trouble I would get if I made that a regular thing. I need to have that time to get stuff done and right now, with pumping twice a day at work, there is no time left. I was so frazzled today that I didn't even know what to do. I don't even remember what kind of state I left my classroom in. That can't be good.

Well, I better get going. My husband wanted me in bed by like 8 pm and now it's 9:30 and he thinks I need rest because he thinks it will help me feel less stressed out. It might, but then again it might just make me worry about all the things I am not currently getting done.

"But I didn't do anything!!"

So you can tell that I work in a setting 5 school. I'll explain how. Today, I went to get a group of 8th grade boys for speech. Two of them haven't had speech before with me so they didn't know me or why I was at the door. I open the door and ask if I can "borrow" students X and Y. Then one of them blurts out "But I didn't do anything!" I had to laugh to myself. Then Rob says, "Just because someone is at the door for you, doesn't mean you are in trouble." It was funny.

So I bought $50 worth of groceries today for school. I was telling Sonny about some of the stuff that I bought that was on sale and he was like, "Oh yeah, what fruits and vegetables were on sale?" He was just being a smart ass because he knew that I didn't buy any of that stuff because it wouldn't keep in my cabinet at school until I felt like eating it. Of course, as I was buying the groceries, I felt like that is the only place I eat anymore.

I don't think I have been funny in here lately. I'm going to lose my two biggest fans (Sue and Cami). At least, I call them fans because whenever I talk to them, they tell me how much they like my blog and how funny they think it is.

Oh, so I had maybe one period all last school year (because I was preggers) but I am more than making up for it now. I think we are in our 3rd week of school and I am on my second period of the school year. Yay. I jokingly said to Sonny that I wanted to be pregnant again so I wouldn't have to have my period and he reminded me of how quickly I had forgotten how much I didn't like being pregnant. Details.

I am so looking forward to next week when I won't have to get up before 5 and drive 45 minutes in traffic to get where I am going. It's gonna be great.

Sonny said that I don't have to pack anything in my car for tomorrow. He said that he would make two trips down there with a pickup (or truck for the Minnesotans reading this) so I didn't need to do anything. Sweet.

Well, I can't really think of anything else that I need to do before tomorrow so I think I will head off to bed. I'm so tired. Again.

The Minnesota Vikings and a letter grade.

Okay, so some of you are aware of the fact that my husband and his parents have season tickets to the Minnesota Vikings. I bring this up because I have to comment on something I saw today and what it reminded me of.

Today we were at the game and there I was sitting in my blue jeans, Vikes jersey and pigtails and this woman comes and sits two rows ahead of us with some man (probably her husband or boyfriend or something) and she has her hair all done (long and straight), and she is wearing this white pant suit type outfit with a green tank underneath. Now, I couldn't see, but I have no doubt that she was probably wearing heels too. I looked at Sonny and asked him if I dressed like that for a game if he would tell me that I looked alright. He said no. Now, if you know me, you know that I like to look nice when I go out but when I go to a game, you gotta dress for the occasion. Seriously, that lady.

So this made me remember last year when we went to another game. The people who were sitting to our left were also Vikings fans. Well, I should say that the man was, and possibly the daughter, but the mom, not so much. How could we tell? She was sitting, at a Vikings game, grading papers and when she finished that, she took out a novel to read. Seriously. There are people who would have probably loved to have been at that game, but there sat some ungrateful wife who blatantly didn't want to be there.

In other news...

We cleaned the townhouse last night. That was tiring, but at least now it is done. Now every day this week, I am going to fill my car with stuff to take over there after work. It's my way of accomplishing something since I won't be able to help with the move on Friday. Sonny says he is glad that I won't be there to dictate. I told him to be careful or I would get out of work just for him.

Lukin is a pill. Sure he is cute and all but he is getting to that naughty age where you can't take him out because he doesn't like to sit in his car seat. He wants to sit at the table or be walked around. Grrr... The 'joy' of parenthood.

A busy week for a busy girl...

Okay, so I can't remember when I last wrote in here. I think it was last Saturday or Sunday so I will go from there.

On Monday night at the Dakota Ridge open house, I finally got my schedule done for that building. Although I had to sit down with Stephanee to finish it. I am supposed to be going over to the elementary for .1 of my week, but it seems like I am there way more than that. I hope that Stephanee got some answers from the team so that we can make it more of the .1 it is supposed to be.

I pulled kids on Wednesday. The younger ones were worse than the older ones. That was weird. I was all worried about how the older kids would act (both for me and with each other) and they were remarkably the good ones who were laughing and talking. Of course, bring up treats and you have their attention. It's like 'instant rapport': just add water.

I was thinking this week about how much my life has changed in the last year. A year ago, as bad as it is to say it, I didn't want to be a mom. And I didn't really want to be a wife either. Weird what a year will teach you. Let me enlighten as to what I have learned.

1. No matter how much you wish it would, taking the third pregnancy test will probably yield the same results as the first two.

2. Every woman wants to find the man of her dreams. I have learned that even though you may find him, you have to un-learn how to be single.

3. Without children, the way you live your life revolves primarily around you, and that's how you like it. Then you one day, you are pregnant and you don't know how you are going to be a parent. You think that God has made some horrible mistake because you don't know how to be a parent and you think you won't know what to do. But then without even recognizing that things change, they do. Suddenly, you find yourself sitting at home on a Friday night while you baby is with Grandma and Grandpa and you don't even know what to do with yourself without him present. Life is funny that way. I didn't want to lose my get-up-and-go-life, but now I wouldn't want to lose Lukin for anything, not even my old life.

4. Happiness does not rest inside of an envelope that you receive twice a month. The world may make it seem like it does, but it doesn't. Happiness is created with those you love and care about and those random moments that put a smile on your face.

5. Although you may be separated from your best friend(s) geographically, mentally and emotionally, no distance exists and you can still go home and pick up where you left off like you see them and talk to them every day.

6. Family is the most important thing. When I was single, I thought that climbing the socioeconomic ladder was the most important thing. Having Lukin has made me more appreciative of what my parents went through as being parents, more appreciative of that relationship between them as I look at how much parenting is all about teamwork, from the parents, extended family and all the friends of the family that want to help be a part of that family.

Well, on that note, I think I will add one last thing before heading off to bed. My sister called me tonight to tell me that one of her classmates had been murdered in Pennsylvania. His name was Jason Shephard, and my thoughts and prayers are with them tonight. Having lost my own sister 3 years ago, I understand the loss that they are feeling right now, and offer them my sympathies.

Officially grossing out my sister...

So, today I was talking to my sister and I told her that tomorrow is Lukin's 1st birthday. And she was like, "But Jenny, he was born in May." I don't say anything. Then she says, "Gross!" I think she figured it out. The reason we knew was because today was the University of North Dakota vs. Winona State Football Game. So happy Birthday, little man!

I know that I have been away and that I probably have lots to say about the week but I am getting old and tired so I will try my best to think of as much stuff as I can.

Monday: Even though Stephanee wanted me to get into the classrooms this week to meet the kids and to provide in class services, Monday was not the day this was going to happen. I still had such a mess for a room. However, by the end of the day, I thought that I would see the light at the end of the tunnel eventually. I stayed until just after 5 working on stuff.

Tuesday: Worked with the Social Skills group. Still no pullout at school. I am still waiting for the tech person to get me a computer so I can do stuff, like check my email from the beginning of the school year.

Wednesday: I spend the hour before the kids come working on a tentative schedule for the day and am going to go into classrooms today to see all my kids (basically put faces with names). I make a schedule and am ready to rock, when I realize I forgot to add pumping time. I shifted things around but then the tech lady found me when it was almost pump time and so that didn't happen on Wednesday. This was okay because my husband and son came to see me after work and I just took Lukin into my office and breastfed him.

Thursday: To the other school. Deanna was there in the morning for a while and she helped to calm me so that by the end of my time there, I wasn't feeling like I had a million things to do there. She suggested of the 43 kids I serve there, I should only worry about becoming really familiar with the 8 kids that I am responsible for either case-managing, or providing solo service to. So that was my focus. Although I pulled my 4 kids that I have for artic group and thought that they would be compliant and quiet since they were new to the building. Not so much, they all already knew each other and so on day one they were little hellions. Then I sat after work because I had a meeting and cleaning until the meeting. I didn't get home until nearly 6:30, or shortly thereafter. It was a pretty long day.

Friday: Good day at school. Got my desk all cleaned off. That made it really awesome. Got to leave work about 3:10. This was good because then we had to go over to the townhome and fill out the paperwork. Sonny picks up the keys on Thursday, which I am happy about even though he is quick to point out the fact that I didn't want the keys a whole week before we were moving. After filling out the paperwork, we went back to the in-laws house and Sonny mowed while I fed Lukin and packed to come home for the weekend. We then went out to eat at Genghis Grill or GG. It was really good. I always just have seafood as my protein and this time I didn't and I picked chicken, sausage, ham and shrimp and it was soooo good. Yum. Then we headed north to go home and stopped at Cub on the way so I could pick up some groceries for Saturday.

Saturday: We had a little get together at Cami's house in Coon Rapids. It was fun. Kandi and Ethan were there. Kristine, and her two boys, Jacob and Adam were there. Sue was there (yes, that's the Sue that babysat last weekend.) Of course, Cami and Will were there. And as a surprise, Naomi was there. I have missed her and so it was a great surprise that she came. We had a great afternoon. At least I did anyway. I miss being around people who know me and so I don't have to say, "My husband or my son" instead I can say "Sonny or Lukin". I miss those people. I don't miss the cattiness of the administrator who non-renewed several people using the same line: "You are qualified but since I wasn't in on the hiring (of you) process, I am opening up the position again. I encourage you to reapply since you would have had experience in the district. Blah, blah, blah." Whatever. I don't even like to remember that. And even though I thought she was a nice enough person for the majority of the year, after that day, I have had such and uneasy feeling about her as a person. I just don't like her very much. I know that's mean, but who non-renews a pregnant newlywed?!? Come on.

I feel bad for going off about Paula like that. Pfff. Whatever. At least I wasn't writing this entire sensored entry. And it's not like she sees my blog, so whatever.

Little Man fell asleep in his swing about 2 hours ago and I took him out and laid him on the floor on a blanky and covered him with a snuggly one. He hasn't even moved. He must be a tired boy. Apparently getting bopped in the head with a singing bass makes a boy tired. We joked that by the end, Lukin wouldn't want to play with 'the boy in the blue shirt' aka: Will, again. I'm sure he was just a little scared, but I am sure he would play with Will, if he was a little older.

Well, I suppose I should go turn on the news. I can see lightning and I hear thunder and I don't want to lose this blog and have to retype it and think of funny things to write. Not that I was all that funny now, but again, whatever.

A Temorary Hiatus

Well, as those of you who read this will be sad to hear, but I will not be able to write many blogs this week. My husband and I (and Lukin) will be staying at my in-laws house while they are on vacation in England. We are staying at their place because it is way closer to where we work. That and we only have limited number of days left that we have to commute and this cuts those days down a bit.

So as some of you are aware, I need to get my butt going and start packing. We will be moving at the end of the month. My husband thinks it would be some kind of great idea to move a few days early. I don't agree because the last day of the month is on a Saturday and I don't work Saturdays so that works for me. But I will probably never understand his way of thinking so why bother trying?

This weekend I had the opportunity to get together with a couple of girls from my last school. Marisa and I went out for lunch and then she came over to see the baby. It was really fun.

Then one of the ladies that I worked with "owed" me a babysitting, so she came over to do that so my husband and I could go on a date last night. She didn't really owe me but she offered because I had helped her out last spring by writing a report for her while she was gone.

Okay, so there wasn't really anything funny to say today but at least I said something...silence is just so sad. Better go fold my laundry and get packed to head back down to Eagan.

Sorry it's been a while...

Okay, okay, okay. I know that some of you can hardly survive without my daily dose of humor (kidding), but I have been staying down in Eagan at the in-laws while they are in England (because it is way, WAY closer to work), and there is no internet there.

So what do I have to comment about? Well, we have successfully gotten through the first week of school. This is usually pretty uneventful for a speech pathologist because, at best, we get to meet our students, if that, and then spend the rest of the time letting them be in their regular classes to learn the ropes and setting up curriculum. Not this year, well not the second two days.

As some of you may not know, this year I am spreading myself pretty thin by working in a position that places me in three schools. M, T, and W, I am based out of a K-12 Self-Contained Setting (Setting IV). Then on TH, and F, I am at a Middle School. The Elementary School that I go to is during my time in the K-12 building.

The whole reason I am explaining this is because I wanted to say that in the middle school, instead of doing pull out this year, I am co-teaching. That started right away. It's interesting. It gives me a chance to meet some kids that are not on my caseload (even though I don't even know all of them yet) that are not in special education.

In fact, yesterday was such a whirlwind that I decided that I was totally stressed out by the end and that I didn't think I wanted to go back for Friday. One of the reasons being that I was given two students to case manage and they weren't anywhere to be found in my schedule. I panicked. Yuck.

What else do I know? I have met a couple really warm nice people so far. I am still feeling out some others and there are TONS of staff that I don't even know the names of yet.

My son has been pretty good this week. He had his four month shots this week. You feel really bad when they ask about his diet and you have to say that he gets some supplement throughout the day because when I am at work, he may buzz right through the breastmilk, if I remember it, and then still be hungry. Of course, one of the nurses from the hospital said that she had four kids: two breastfed, two bottle-fed and they were all fine. So I really shouldn't feel so bad if he gets a bottle or two each day, because overall he is getting mostly breastmilk.

My husband says that he never reads my blog. He jokingly says it's because "I live it." But then he adds if he is bored at work, he will read it. So basically, that gives me free license to complain about him. Not that I have any complaints right now. But just knowing that I have that opportunity is great. (Just kidding honey!)

So this past week I had a couple of dreams featuring my ex-boyfriend. It's weird because he was so happy and so happy to see me in the dreams. I don't know what that was all about but it gave me the creeps almost to see him that happy to see me. When I think back about our relationship, we came to a point in August or September of 2001 when I would lay awake and pray to God: God, if this is not meant to be, please give me a sign. And since you know me, you will know that I can't have some little subtle sign. I need the mother of all obvious signs. I eventually got this sign and have been out of the relationship for nearly 5 years now.

Today I was thinking about the relationship with him. His name was Greg, and when I think about it now, it reminds me of those couples that lived in the 50's. It was his place that he was paying for, and that I should be quiet when he comes home and take care of him while he provides for me. You know, that could be one of the thousand reasons why we are better to not be together.

Okay, I think I am gonna wrap this up. The first week of school and my feet are tired and my throat is sore from trying to talk over excited kids on a Friday afternoon. And even though it's a Friday, I may not even make it until 10:00 to go to bed. You know school has started again when...

A "Just for Girls" entry.

So, today I was at work and I think that when I get stressed my brain tries to find a way to release. Anyway, I was in the bathroom and I realized that there was a 'feminine product' dispenser in there. And I noticed, as I have noticed before that one said: "tampon" and the other said: "napkin". Now I know what a tampon is, and I even know what it means when it says napkin. But does anyone else think it is weird that they use the actual word for tampon, but a different one for "pad"? I mean, why call it a napkin? This may seem crude but what am I supposed to do with it? Use it to dab the blood? Hello? It was probably invented by some man.

So I know that I should so be sleeping right now but I had to write an entry and I had to pick up the place as my husband cleaned because my friend Brenda is coming down tomorrow for "The Great Minnesota Get Together". You wanna know something weird? I lived in North Dakota for 27 years and never once went to the State Fair. I live in Minnesota for just over 1 year and this will be my second State Fair.

Okay, time to take the clothes out of the dryer, brush my teeth and lay down for pity's sake.

Theme of the day: tired.

Remember a few entries ago when I talked about investing in stock for Tylenol? It has started. I am so tired that I have a pounding headache. I know that I just suck it up because I am not the first teacher to go back to work after having a baby. And I am probably not the first new mother that has had to get up between 4 and 5 am to feed baby, or feed the baby at 3 am, then get up at 5, and get ready to make it to work on time, but it sure feels like it right now.

The above picture was taken a few weeks ago and I love it because it's funny but it has also become his common face. Honestly, I am tired and when he gets like that for an hour, I don't know what to do for him. My synapses aren't firing enough to figure it out, so I just sit and sing to him and eventually he falls asleep. My husband and I figure that he is just so overly tired. I wish that I could just pitch a fit and someone would rock and sing me to sleep and then let it go because "I am just so overly tired." Lukin has it made and he doesn't even know it.

Lastly, school hasn't even started yet, so I don't know any kids, and I have a meeting tomorrow with a parent. Are you even kidding me? What am I supposed to say about the kid? I'll just sit and nod along like I know the kid, and try to soak up as much as my tired little brain can handle.

An entry for an entry's sake

Well, it's day two of 'workshop week'. I went to my second school to find out that I have a whole classroom to work in (read: and freak out about decorating). Usually, I get some corner room or some room that smells like moth balls or something that no one else has any use for. This room has windows. It's my 5th year in Special Ed, and my first year with windows in both my schools. That's gonna be awesome.

The longer I sit here at the computer, the more stuff I think of to do. I don't want to do any of it. I just want to sleep. It took me almost an hour to get home from work today. As if getting up so darn early and then mentally and physically trying to prepare a classroom and make a schedule isn't enough. So I think I am going to slack and let my face age 7 days by not taking off my makeup and just take out my contacts and brush my teeth and crash on the couch. (Side note (as asked of me years ago by Amanda): If wearing your makeup overnight ages your face 7 days, what does wearing it all day do?)

Lastly, I got an email from an old coworker, and if anyone from my old job reads this, I would like Colleen's email address. Of all the special ed people, she's the only one that I don't have an address for.

Work and other things going on...

So, today I figured out what days I am going to be at the middle school. In case you were losing sleep worrying, it will be Thursdays and Fridays. And that actually works out well because that way, I will be going to the earlier starting school on the days that Sonny will be home. That's nice because I don't want to keep getting up at 4 or 4:30 in the morning for a whole lot longer. I should number down the days until we move and that shouldn't be the case anymore.

I've started doing this thing that every time I write in my blog, I look at the next one and if I ever find one I want to comment on, I will. This got me to thinking. Has anyone ever thought about if their life was a movie. I mean, not some boring movie about our boring lives but let me explain. Think about if your life was a movie and you were in charge of creating the soundtrack. What songs would you add? Would they tend to be upbeat? Old school? Love songs? All of the above? The songs that I would include changes almost daily. I will hear a song on the radio that I haven't heard for a long time and I try to think of ways that I would incorporate that into my soundtrack. I guess another question would be what the name of that soundtrack would be.

Well, as has become the case as of late, I better get off of here and get ready for bed. It is going to take some time getting used to going to bed around 9 pm. Oh the joys of having a little baby.

Seasoned like Salt and Pepper

Okay, so I have been asked to make the font bigger for the older eyes that try to read this stuff. So hopefully, if you have 'old' eyes like my friend, you won't have any trouble reading this.

Well, I have a few things I want to comment on from the end of this past week and a few to comment on for the upcoming week. First of all, I want to comment on the new teacher workshops. It's funny how many people came in not knowing anyone who was going to be there, and then they introduced themselves to someone (maybe in their discipline or their school) and then they cling to each other for the rest of the workshops. I think that's funny. I'm not saying it doesn't apply to me. I just think it's funny.

Next, in attending all these workshops, I realized that I am not a novice at teaching. Nor am I a novice at teaching in special education. We were given this worksheet on Friday and were given this manual to help us find the answers. I didn't really need the book although our table pretty much doubted all my knowledge. Hello? People, don't you know how smart I am? So I am now going to refer to myself as being seasoned like salt and pepper, and not green, and not well seasoned like cajun.

Friday morning all the new staff met at the middle school for a meeting with the principal. He wanted to talk with us about some policies and procedures about the upcoming school year. He was explaining all these things and listening to him made my last school seem really ghetto. It was funny. When I was working at my last school, I never really thought of it as being ghetto. But listening to him talk about things like 'bomb threats' and 'fights between students' (both things I was through at my last school), made me feel like maybe I was moving up. That's good.

Friday night we went to the Vikings game and we took the train. On the way home, someone on the train must have gotten a phone call saying that the twins had won their game and suddenly everyone on the train started singing "Take me out to the Ballgame". It just shows how much everyone in the twin cities is proud of their teams.

Other than that, I am just trying to get the last minute purchases made before school starts and mentally and physically prep. One more week to go, here's hoping that I get everything done that needs (or that I want) to get done.

A new year, a new reason to invest in Tylenol stocks

So today was my first day back to work. It wasn't as overwhelming as first days have been in the past. I don't know if that is because I have done this so many times that I know what to expect now or because now that I have had a child, beginning a new job is not the biggest thing in the world anymore.

The day went fine. It was pretty uneventful actually. I'm sure that it will be more eventful when I start working on schedules and stuff...I don't even want to think about that. I don't even notice but when I am not thinking to not do it, I clench my jaw. It's not a good thing.

Today is my friend Karie's birthday and I am missing her big birthday bash in Fargo. Happy Birthday Karie!! I hope you have a good time for you and for me as well.

Lastly, we had some bad weather here tonight. It scared me. I don't know if it was because from 6 pm to 7 pm the 'news' was just the weather, or if it was because all these storms were in the area and I was worried about Lukin. Being a mom sure changes things.

Well, again it is 9 o'clock and I should be heading off to get ready for bed. I don't think I have to be anywhere before 8 tomorrow but I will still want to be out the door by 7 just in case.

A temporary truce

So it would seem that the Breastfeeding Strike is over...for now. Today has been good for getting Little Man to take the breast. I think that it helped me to read that book and take what it said to heart and set some time aside just for him and me so that he could feel reconnected with me. Of course, things are gonna change because tomorrow I go back to work. Ask me how I feel about this. I am an emotional wreck. Whenever I think about the fact that my husband is going to take over as primary caregiver during the hours I am at work and he is home, it makes me feel really sad. I feel like Lukin is going to forget who his mommy is. Sonny says that he won't forget. But today has felt like he gets upset when Daddy leaves the room (or even view), and I have never seen him react that way to me. It's tearing me up, but I will have to get through it. I know I am not the first woman to have a child and return to work, and I know I won't be the last.

Sue and I met for lunch today. We went to Olive Garden and had the soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch. Yum. We had a good time visiting and it made me miss the fact that I won't be going back to work there this year, but some of the stuff I won't miss (like administrators who non-renew you because they weren't available to sit in on your initial hiring meeting)...but I'm just sayin.

This makes me think about my general lack of appreciation for female administrators. But there is one exception. Her name was Vicki Coombs and she was such a nice lady and she was a very helpful administrator. I miss her. She is the only female administrator that I would work with again. And Vicki, if you ever see this, you rock!

Well, that whole list of stuff that I was supposed to get done today didn't get done. Go figure. But one of the main things did: fill out my planner. Only doing that just stressed me out because neither of my two new schools have the same schedule for conferences or days off (with the exception of holidays). This means that I am going to have to figure out which days I have to be at which conferences because if I am at all of them, I will be over my time and I will get some free days off. This happened two years ago when I was working in a split district. It was fluke that I earned a Comp day, but it was nice to have.

Well, even though it only a quarter to eight, I better go and feed my son and think about getting ready for bed. I don't even want to think about how early I am going to have to get up to get myself ready, feed my boy (thankfully, I won't have to take him to daycare because my husband doesn't work tomorrow or Friday), and drive from the north end of the city to the south end. I can't wait until the end of September when we move closer to both my husband's and my work.

Fighting with my Blog and my Boy

So I have been fighting with my blog. I really should log out and try to get back to this sucker before I let anyone know that I had to change it again. This is why technology and I don't really mix so well. Grrr.

Hopefully, this will work better this time.

So I had to pull out the big baby book today to see what was going on. Lukin refuses to breastfeed. It's like, "Seriously. Are you my kid? And you refuse to eat?" That must come from his dad. So anyway, I pull out the big book and I come across a section called "Breastfeeding Strike". Seriously? But as I read it, it made perfect sense. He may be emotionally upset over "busy nest syndrome" with all the traveling we have been doing and my getting ready to return to work on Thursday and/or physical upset as in teething. I know how old he is but he has other symptoms of teething too, like drooling and crankiness and a perpetual need to have his hands in his mouth.

Tomorrow I have lunch plans with Sue from my last job. I am excited about that. I miss everyone from my old school and Sue is cool and I think that we will probably keep in touch so that makes me happy.

Lastly, I have a million things that I should have done today and probably won't finish tomorrow. This just makes me feel stressed and will probably interupt Lukin's feedings tomorrow. That's just great.

It's about Stinkin' time

Monday, August 21, 2006

It's about Stinkin' time
Okay, so I have been putting this off but, I think it is time that I have my very own blog. This way I can get back into the habit of venting when I need to, and then I won't have to tell the same stories twenty times to get everyone's input.Also, I figured that now that I there's a baby around, people might want an occasional update on what we are up to since I have gotten really bad about replying to 'real' emails.So is that all I have to say for today? I suppose I should write something 'real' so I can call it my first official blog posting.Let's see...Well, today Lukin and I came back from Fargo. We had flown up there to surprise my mom, sister and Grandma. It was fun. Exhausting, but fun. Although, three weekends in a row of going up north is plenty. That's too much traveling in too short an amount of time for me and the wee one. He's exhausted and sleeping, probably what I should be doing, but I will get there soon enough.While I was in Fargo, we did some shopping. I know I am too old for school shopping, but I still do it every year. It's like one of the perks of working in an educational field.But enough for tonight. I'll think of something cooler to write about for next time.
posted by Juniper Spangletoes at 11:02 PM 3 comments