Worki-work, Busy Bee.

So last week was technically my last week at my current job. Today was supposed to be me bringing the regular SLP (although at this point, seeing as this is her first year at this building, I have been with the kids longer than she has) back up to speed. Well, she needed to do some things and so she asked if I would mind working with the kids. I didn't mind because it was supposedly my last day with them...

Well, it turns out that the SLP that just returned was there today, will be tomorrow and then will be off Wednesday and Thursday because she has to go to Illinois for a funeral. So she called her supervisor to see if I could come in and cover her days since she is getting charged for the days anyway and I was just here and know the kids better than she does. They gave her permission. She asked me, and I accepted, but only for Thursday. I have two job interviews on Wednesday, but Thursday will work.

This just lends itself to the fact that when things are going to settle down for me, (as they should for having just finished a job), things somehow manage to get more busy. It's going to be a long week with work today, subbing tomorrow at my old school, two interviews Wednesday and then back to my LTS school on Thursday...I won't be able to wait for Friday. But, that being said, I will be grateful for the paychecks all this work will yield.

Cap'n Crabby Pants

So today I am crabby. I don't really know why. I think because I have three days left at my job and a ton of things left to accomplish. Oy.

But the crabby continued when I got home because then I was all crabby at dinner over things that I don't need to get so worked up about: a kid with cancer on a basketball team, and more. I just have no patience (today) for this kind of stuff. In fact, I am too crabby to even get into why.

Tomorrow is the last day for the food drive at our school. I listen to the plea everyday and wonder why it's my job, as a substitute, to care about feeding everyone.

I guess I am just tired of everyone who thinks that they deserve a handout. I have days where I feel that I work my tail off and still have nothing to show for it, and it feels like no one else is in that boat ever. They are either the haves, or the sit at home on their ass and wait to become the haves, there are no have nots. I don't get it.

Tired

I've been back to work since Monday, but I am still pretty tired. Of course, when am I not exhausted being Mommy to two little boys? Perhaps its better as a rhetorical question.

Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

I know that being a parent comes with it's own set of sacrifices. This is not something that I didn't already know from spending time with your brother. However, I did not realize just how much sacrifice is sometimes involved in parenting.

For example, last week when I was home with H1N1, I opted not to take the medication that I had prescribed to me because I wasn't sure of any potential harmful effects to you. Then this week, my teeth are killing me. It may be sinuses as everyone has been pointing out to me. But even so, I can't do anything about it because, again, I don't want to do anything that might cause any harm to you. I just hope this pain goes away soon because it hurts. Sinuses or tooth pain, whatever it is, it really hurts.

A bit of everything

This is Lukin all dressed up for Gigi's 70th Birthday party. I know it's from a while back but I haven't gotten around to this stuff lately.


Here's Parker that same day. My cousin Kellie was making him giggle. It was so cute!


Lukin's first day at his new school and his first day riding the school bus!


Parker discovering his feet...while wearing his first UND onesie.


Lukin helping Grandma make Mommy's birthday cake.


Not to be outdone, Parker getting ready to help Mommy make some brownies another time.


Mommy with her birthday cake. It was very yummy! Thanks Grandma and Lukin!!


Wearing our Twins gear.


Parker reading his halloween card.


Lukin reading his Halloween card.


Mommy's little pumpkins.


More pumpkins.



The boys ready to rock Halloween.


Last picture then we can go trick-or-treating.


All of us at Great-Grandpa Harold's 90th birthday party.


First (and only so far since Mommy has gotten sick) night of sleeping in the big boy crib!

H1N1

So, lucky me. I am home with H1N1. And I am sure glad that my inlaws live so close. The boys have been over there since Saturday (because it was girls' weekend), and so when Sonny took me to the Minute Clinic yesterday and we found out it was H1N1, the inlaws decided that they would keep the boys for a while longer. My mother-in-law said this morning that they would keep the boys until my fever goes down for like a day. But that could be days. My temp this morning was 101.2. But that was down from the 103.5 that I had Saturday night.

I am not going to take the Tamiflu that she wrote a prescription for. She said that there was no right or wrong answer on that one since there was not enough information to support that it was safe to take while nursing. Besides, when Lukin had the ILI, his pediatrician said that he could take it, but it would only shorten it up by about a day. That doesn't really seem worth it if I have to pump and dump for the duration of the medication.

Anyway, I miss the boys. I think that Lukin misses us too. Whenever I call over there, he is too busy snuggling with a shirt of mine that he has been carrying around. At least Daddy can go over and spend some time with them, but I don't get that luxury. At least, not for a couple of days anyway.

Scattered thoughts

Why is it that every time I decide to like a song, they stop playing it on the radio?

I apologize if anyone has emailed me lately and I haven't replied. I haven't gotten to really check my email since the weekend before Halloween. If you have anything urgent to tell me, it's almost better to text until Thanksgiving week.

Why am I afraid that I am going to end up taking a cold shower again tomorrow morning for the third day this week? Why can't they fix it one of the times they have been here? Like really fix it so it will work for longer than a day.

Why am I the only one who dresses up for work and doesn't wear jeans multiple times per week? Or better question, why does everyone else wear jeans multiple times per week?

Sleepy nigh nigh

With the job that I am currently working, I drive around 22 miles one way to work each day. That translates to at least 30 minutes on the road. (I allow for 40 minutes most days.) So this means I have to get up earlier to account for this drive time. I don't get to bed any earlier than I did when I worked here and so my sleeping window has shrunk. Add to that the fact that lately I am woken up at some point during the night to go tend to Lukin, and then again sometime later to nurse Parker. So I am more tired than I have been for a while. Probably since Parker was born.

In some ways, it's become a struggle to get all my things I like to get done each night done before I fall asleep. Tonight was no exception. After dinner at church, we returned home to do hand and feet prints with Parker, then gave the boys baths. By 8 pm, I was nursing Parker and Lukin was snuggled up beside me. I shut my eyes for a few seconds and when I opened them, about 10 minutes had passed and all three of my boys were asleep on the couch along with me.

Needless to say, we are a tired crew at my house. I mean I have always understood why Sonny was tired, with the hours he works, but now, I feel like I am right along with him. Add the fact that Lukin doesn't feel compelled to nap anymore, but needs to, and Parker won't nap many afternoons until I come home and nurse him. No wonder we all doze off during the evening.

Got a job?

I watch the news. It tries to tell me that the economy is on the mend and that the unemployment rate is dropping. I am not buying it. If everything is getting so much better, where are the jobs? More importantly, where is a job for me?

If you know me very well, you know that I freak out about money. I perpetually worry about not having enough. My husband knows this well enough to pretty much avoid ever talking to me about money. I melt down because, anyone who knows me knows that I was born to be a career woman, not a stay at home type gal and so staying at home and not making my own income kills me.

I don't ever remember any professor in any of my college classes saying that there was a likelihood of getting this degree and then having to roll it up and smoke it for all the good it was going to end up doing for me. I seem to remember them saying that there was this great need. Where the hell was that?

When I first entered the real world, I was so happy to have a 'real' job. I don't remember being overly worried about money, especially when I worked my 'real' job and worked weekends at my old job for something to do. But I wasn't worried. Now that I have two children and no permanent source of income, I am worried.

I shouldn't really complain. Currently, I am employed. But (and this will only make sense if you have ever worked in education) I am being paid for BA + 0 credits and 0 years when technically I should be making a salary of MA (BA + 60) + at least 6 years. That's quite a noticeable difference. It pisses me off too because I am helpless to do anything about it. As my husband says, it is a consistent source of income for a guaranteed amount of days. I could have not taken the job and hoped something better came along, and potentially sat with no pay.

I just pray that a permanent, full-time job reveals itself to me soon. One that I apply for and actually get offered to me. Like my mom said over the summer, I need a job for my own sanity.