What a difference a day makes

So today, I was driving to school thinking about how calm I was feeling for how close we were getting to the holidays and how I didn't have everything done but I wasn't stressed.

8 hours of teaching later...

I went home totally stressed about everything that still needs to be accomplished. It may have been not getting everything I wanted to get completed taken care of at work. But whatever it was, it made me stressed for the rest of the evening.

December Holidays

So, today I was looking at Kwanzaa Candles (Mishumaa Saba) online so I was ready when, and if, students asked about them. And I found this menorah.com website. Now, I don't participate in the celebration of Hanukkah, and so I found it odd that they had so many different styles. I found it almost mocking when I saw that there were animal ones and different sport ones. I don't get it. I mean I thought it was supposed to be a sacred thing. We don't wrap baby Jesus in a Blue's Clues blanket in the manger scene. You know? It just seemed really weird to me.

First Time Bidders

So, last night, Sonny and I put our first bid in on a house. We don't know if it will go over or not. But we did it. With the uncertainty with both of our jobs, we don't know if we hope they will say yes or no. We will wait and see.

Less Soprano, please.

So this weekend, I joined my mother-in-law, and my two aunts-in-law and went to a Mother-Daughter luncheon at church. The hour before the luncheon, we were entertained by this vocal group (and I don't remember the name) which consisted of 3 women and 3 men. They sang several songs, songs from the 50s, some disco, some religious, some patriotic, but throughout them all, all I could think was how heavily weighted the group was by the soprano one (a reference to when I sang in college, referring to the topmost soprano part). Now, I realize that this is somewhat hypocritical of me, seeing as I was a soprano one in high school. But I kind of think that perhaps that teacher didn't really know how to "read" voices, because just a short summer later, I was singing in college choir and I was an alto one. But I will confess that I am far more comfortable as an alto than I ever was as a soprano. Who knew?

But what I really wanted to hear was the men's voices. When I was in college, the best part of the concerts was not our female choir part, but the men's choir part. I loved listening to them sing the UND school fight song. It never got old. Neither did the "Little Lamb" song. I can still see the big guy named Grant singing when I think of that song. It's funny what memories we have, isn't it?

Edmund Fitzgerald

Did anyone have the Gordon Lightfoot song in their head yesterday? It was the 35th anniversary of the sinking. I heard the tail end of it on the way to work. I didn't know it was the anniversary at the time.

Trick or Treat

This picture was taken shortly before we left to go trick or treating. We took Thomas the Tank Engine and a little Lion out. They did a good job. But I think it would be fun if all of us dressed up, Mommy and Daddy included.

Wait, wait, wait.

All there is to do tonight is wait, wait, wait. There is a lot riding on this election, like, "is any reason to hold out hope for a job for next year?" Also, to see where would be the best place to put Lukin in kindergarten. I hate the way the referendum questions were worded on the ballot, but hopefully there was enough people who had gotten the information to have the explanation to know what they were voting for and to make the educated decision. Just say my prayers and wait.

Halloween Success

It's amazing what a difference a year makes. Last year we went around one block and when we turned the corner, Lukin got too tired to continue. This year, he didn't ask until the last couple houses and only because he could see Mimi's house and wanted to go there. It was pretty fun.

I have to confess that I never knew the rule about the house lights. I grew up in the country and we went into town and went to the same houses every year. I didn't know that if the lights were on you could go there, and if they weren't, you couldn't. Good to know though.

We had fun though. Lukin did great saying trick-or-treat, and thank you at each house. Parker would only say his version of trick-or-treat if prompted. And you couldn't distinctly hear "trick or treat" but you heard three syllables ending in "ee". And he would say something that sounded like "thank you" too. But he was cute to watch as he just sat back in his stroller wondering why we were going from house to house in the dark saying the same thing and getting stuff in a bag. I think he didn't mind though as he looked pretty comfy in his little lion outfit and winter coat. He looked like he was going to fall asleep.

When we got back to Mimi's, I guess it was like Halloween in years past. Lukin had all the candy dumped all over the floor in moments. And he had four pieces before you could tell him how many he could have: 1 starburst, 1 piece of bubble gum, 1 box of milk duds and a kit kat. Parker got to have a little candy too (only because it was Halloween and he dressed up for it.) He got to have one little bag of M&Ms and suck on a sucker until the stick got too bendy, then Mommy took it away.

All in all it was fun night. I will try to get a pic up here eventually. Like hopefully before the kids go off to college.

So tired...and ready for the end of the week

So I am sitting here at my home computer working on stuff from work because as much as I am trying to get done, I am not getting far at work what with classes and students...Who knew?

Anyway, I am sitting here and in the middle of my second report of the night, but have had a long day. I got up at my regular 5:00 time but ended up heading to work early and putting in a 9.5 hour day. Then I came home to do more. So as I am sitting here, my eyes drift closed and I snap them open thinking I am at work and will get in trouble if my eyes close. That's how tired I am, I think I am at work, when I am not.

I need this week to be over and for me to put a huge dent in all that I need to get done before coming home tomorrow.

Won't make much sense if you aren't in Education

So tonight, Sonny took the boys to swimming lessons and left me home to work on my CEUs. That was awesome because I stayed home and was able to complete .6 CEUs. That was great because now I am sitting at 2.3 CEUs, whereas earlier I was sitting at 1.7 CEUs. If I have another night like that, I should be almost to my required 3.0 CEUs. That would be fantastic. Now that I think about it, I would probably be there if I hadn't missed out on the classes I had registered for before the computer crashed. Oh well. I am almost done and that is great!

In other news, the last couple and the next couple weeks at school have been and will continue to be hectic. We have had 2 program evals plus their IEPs, 2 program IEPs, 4 speech assessments and IEPs, 1 speech IEP, and 1 LD IEP. It's been crazy. I could have worked on some of that paperwork tonight, but I feel good having gotten some CEUs done. All I know is that I should have all of it done by Thanksgiving and I will certainly earn my Thanksgiving break. And as of now, I have no documents due in December. I can't wait!

A long weekend...well it felt long.

Sometimes, the weekend just doesn't seem long enough. And sometimes, you can't wait for it to be over. This was one of the latter weekends. That is, with the exception of needing more sleep. But I had a 4-year-old who thought he should stay up til past midnight last night, and who got up before 8 am this am. That lead to some tired eyes today and some crankiness and an inability to sit still for fear of falling asleep. Here's hoping everyone has a good night sleep and tomorrow is a better day, with all of us fully rested.

Alaska was great!

So, last weekend we went to Alaska to watch some college hockey. It was a lot of fun. I had never been to Alaska before and I really enjoyed it. It was beautiful up there and the fall colors and the mountains all around made for very picturesque scenery. I can't wait to go back. You know how you imagine what you will do if you ever win the lottery? We decided that we would take our families on a trip to Alaska because they would all like to go and with everyone there, it would be so much fun!

(almost) all my bags are packed...

I'm ready to go.

Tomorrow after work, Sonny is taking me out of town for my birthday. It should be fun. Where we are going will be a surprise. Yay!

Burday me

So last night for my birthday, we went to Osaka. It was yum-yum-yum-yum-delicioso. My husband and I shared sushi and then we each had some hibatchi. Yum! Then all 9 of us came back to our house for cake. It was yummy too!

Almost older

I get to wake up tomorrow one age and go to bed another. Forgive me for not really feeling particularly excited for my birthday this year. I know I am not that old, but I sure feel like I am.

I told my husband that I wanted to buy a pair of heels. Impractical ones. I told him that in my head that would make me feel less old. I don't know why I think that. But I think that people who wears heels have to be young because I don't know that they would just wear them if they weren't. How many old people wear heels just because? My point exactly.

City Lights

So, growing up, I can remember a hand full of my classmates who were always saying how much they couldn't wait to graduate and get out of our hometown. I never said anything like that, because I didn't know if I would.

But, here we are several years later, and I am the one who doesn't live at home. Those people who said that, for the most part, the ones who said that, still live there.

I have been thinking about this lately as I have been driving home. Whenever I get off 35E as I come around the exit, I see the outline of the buildings downtown and that is what I think of.

Nothing...Just an entry for the sake of an entry.

I really need to think of something to write. But I got nothing.

I found my desk today. Now, if only I could get rid of the 'U' table in my room and get a normal round one, I would be peachy.

Might get to do something fun the weekend after my birthday. Still working on it though.

That's about all I got.

Quite a while

So, it's been quite a while since I have had anything to say. Well, that's not true, but since I had time to say anything. Here's a quick rundown of some of the things I have done since the last entry:

-got a job.
-went to big Cav.
-went to Fargo.
-went to Regina, Saskatchewan for Kirk's birthday (sorry those you who got a postcard from Kirk...)
-went to Lutsen Resort
-went to Las Vegas
-went to Breezy Point
-slept in a tent at Breezy Point (even though there were plenty of beds available in the cabin
-started my new job

Things have been going pretty well. I am tired due to my much earlier hours this year, but I am hopeful.

Random, yet somehow circularly related, thoughts

I know Amanda hates when people title things "Random" but this really is random since I haven't been writing in here lately. Here's some of my recent "random" thoughts.

1. We have lived here almost 4 years and I have decided that I have three favorite things about living here: the flowers that are in bloom right now outside our door (I know nothing about flowers so I don't know what they are called); the pretty deep pink to pale pink blossoms on the tree every spring; and watching the geese that live in the pond across from our place raise new babies every summer.

2. I watch the geese and I feel sad for them. I believe that they started this particular spring with 6 babies, but now there are only 4. That makes me feel sad for them, on a parental level. Although, as I watch cars stopped to let them cross the road or sit in the middle or whatever they have selected to do, I wonder if those on the street would feel the same empathy for Canadian Geese.

3. Have you ever seen those shows where a child dies and the parents put some kind of object that the child really liked in the coffin? I started thinking about this as I was thinking about the 2 MIA baby geese. I don't think I could put my children's favorite things in with them and away from me. It makes me sad to think about.

4. I have this stuffed dog named Annie. She was purchased as a gift for my ex-fiance, back when we were first dating. When we broke up, the night before I moved out, we spent part of the evening in the kitchen arguing over who owned which bowls and silverware and stuff like that. I think that the way that he behaved partially led to my taking Annie. That and I was sad and needed Annie. And hindsight being what it is, I am glad that I took her, because I think 2003 proved to be a year in which I needed her more than he did. That was a tough year and I was glad to have Annie. I'm sorry G. I'm sorry that you came home to find that the stuffed dog I gave you was gone. But I am glad that I had her in 2003.

5. Has anyone ever read "Flowers for Algernon"? That book is sad. It poses the moral and ethical question: If science had the capability to raise someone's mental capacity, should it be done? If you have never read it, you should check it out. When I asked my BFF if she had read it and told her the premise, she asked what I think. I don't really know how to answer. Although, if the results would be like they were in the book, then I would have to say no.

Same song

Have you ever been in your car listening to the radio and gotten bored with the song that was on? Have you ever changed it to find that another station is playing the exact same song? I have. And when this happens, the first thing that pops into my head is I begin to wonder if someone in the band died that more than one station would be playing the song at the same time. Well, I only think this if the song isn't currently in the top 20. This happened today and I wondered if Jason Mraz was okay because his song was on two stations.

Speaking of Jason Mraz, after his song Dave Matthews came on and it made me think of that skit from SNL where the cast is dressed up as Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and Dave Matthews and they are on "The Mellow Show". The one I am thinking of has the real Dave Matthews playing Ozzie Osbourne making fun of Dave Matthews. That skit is so funny.

1 year ago today

So one year ago, at this hour, I was finding out that I was fully dialated and that I wasn't going to be getting the epidural that I had been hoping to get. In less than one hour, I would be greeting my brand new baby boy...

I have to say that it's strange to put your baby to bed saying "happy birthday" knowing he isn't even one yet.

But HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway, my little prince. Mommy loves you.

Mixed bag

So I have been feeling a mixed bag of emotions since yesterday afternoon. Let me explain what all is going on.

1. Lukin went with my parents to Fargo for the week. Little P and I will fly up there either Friday or Saturday for the weekend and come back by Monday as we have things going on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.

2. In Lukin going, he will miss his baby brother's first birthday. (Sonny says not to feel sad about this because Lukin thinks that Parker's birthday was on Saturday when we had the party.) That and Parker won't even know that Lukin missed his birthday, again because the party was over the weekend.

3. Parker turns one tomorrow. I am super excited for him to turn one, but sad at the same time. When he turns one, that shows that he is getting bigger and more independent and my little baby won't be my little baby anymore.

4. This is the last week of school. That always creates conflicting emotions because I always get attached to my kids and want to see them do well and always have to hope that they will continue to do well without me. One student realized today was the last day that she will see me and she gave me a great big hug. Then she said those words that made me sad: "I'll see you next year." I never know how to handle those words. Part of me wants to be honest with the kids, and part of me wants to protect them from feeling sad. So I usually don't tell the kids.

So all in all, a pretty mixed bag. Some exciting things happening this week and some sad things happening. Some both. Actually, most are both.

5. The final thing I am worried about was a rumor I had heard at work. I had heard that last year a couple people received the letter telling them that they weren't going to receive a continuing contract and then were called in and fired on the last day anyway. I'm nervous about that. I haven't done anything to get fired over, but I am nervous anyway. I just want to do the things that I need to do (see the kids, finish up paperwork, etc.) and not worry about that.

Focused

So, today I sent the boys to St. Peter without me so that I could get a bunch of stuff done. Of course, when it came time for the boys to leave, I got teary-eyed. Little P didn't seem to mind, but I was the one having a hard time with having a day at home without him.

Anyway, I left as soon as they left to get a couple errrands done. I completed one but couldn't complete the other because Kinko's wasn't open today.

Then I grabbed some lunch and came home. I sat down at the computer and worked from about 12:45 until about 2:15 then decided to take a break which was only supposed be 30 minutes. It turned into an hour long break as I decided to try out the Kaboom bathroom cleaner I had purchased. And if you know me and my cleaning ethic, you understand why my 30 minute break turned into an hour long one.

Then around 3:30, I came back to the computer and worked on some reports and stuff for work. I finished up all the work related things that I need to do at about 7:00 pm. So now, I have only two more things on my list to do, along with my regular get ready for school list.

However, I need to take a break from the stuff I need to do to pump. I realized that I didn't do it last night or this morning and I have been feeling it since this afternoon. This phasing nursing out thing isn't as easy as I had hoped. And for the life of me, I can't remember how I did it when L-train was little.

The mail

Sometimes all you need in order to keep on going is to get actual mail in the mail, something that breathes a new life into your plans for the future. It should keep you going for at least a little while.

To the zoo

If you know me, you know how much I LOVE (read with dripping sarcasm) hot weather. So, you may find it hard to believe that we packed up the whole family and went to the zoo today, with the temp at 87 with a heat index of 91. We met up with a college friend of my husband's and her little girl. We did both of the indoor exhibits before taking a break for an ice cream treat. Then we did venture outdoors to go to the Grizzly Coast to see the Grizzly Bears. They are always fun to see.

Needless to say, we needed a little down time, and something cool to drink, after the zoo for the boys' cheeks to switch back from rosy red to pale. But 30 minutes in the 'cool' 76 degrees made everyone feel refreshed. And even though baby and big brother did not have a nap prior to the zoo, neither fell asleep after, although daddy and I could have used a nap.

4 years ago tonight

Do you remember what you were doing exactly four years ago tonight? Apparently, I was going to bed, unaware that it would be the last night that I would be a part of a two person household...

...unaware that when I woke up just moments before the alarm went off that Friday morning, that I wasn't going to be going to work that day...

...unaware that in 7 short hours, I would be greeting a beautiful baby boy...

...unaware that in 4 years from that night, I would be frosting cupcakes and wrapping presents to help celebrate my baby's 4th birthday.

Happy early birthday little man! Mommy loves you!

Another year older...

So tomorrow is my husband's birthday. We did the big family dinner last night because his aunt was still in town, but she was leaving today so we wanted to do it while she was still here. Also, we couldn'd do it tomorrow night because he and I have tickets to the new Target Field. I keep apologizing that this birthday isn't going to go exactly like one might think a birthday should, to which he keeps replying, "So what? We're going to a Twins game." I really do believe that is the perfect gift for him since it's something he likes to do, and with the new stadium, he is dying to check that out, and what better day than his birthday? But I just felt bad that there wasn't more fanfare around his birhtday. He said that he didn't need it because he isn't a girl. Nice. But anyway, happy birthday (a night early) honey!

Long meeting

So yesterday, we had this meeting that was supposed to be 30 minutes but went on to be more than 90 minutes long. That's all well and good. However, a little girl who knows her speech times came in with the principal to ask if she missed speech because she was worried that she had. There's me, not feeling well and being in the process of packing up my things to leave, says, "No. We had a meeting. You didn't miss speech." The principal gave me a look. But really, what I wanted to say was, "What are you trying to do? Get me fired?" to the little girl. I only thought it, I didn't really say it.

Newest "laws" at work

Today, we received an email saying that if you are not a classroom teacher with a homeroom, you should not have a computer. It's not that they don't want us to have access, but...

I stopped reading after that. I was so pissed. Are you even kidding me? I cannot stay in an environment like that. Does anyone even know what it is I do? Does anyone in the office even realize that I have to have a computer in order to complete my job? I don't think they have any concept. At all.

I asked my husband if God takes a look at all the events going on in your life and based on where you are sitting, he decides whether or not you deserve more good or bad things. He says that God doesn't work that way. I wonder what way he is thinking about my job? And I wish I knew if he was going to provide something better for next year, or if I have to suck it up. I wanna cry thinking about having to do that. I don't know which would be worse for me personally: not having a job, or having to work under the micromanagment for another year.

Perfect Work Environment

My best friend says that she can't remember a time when I was ever happy in my line of work. That could be true. I can't remember. I remember happier times but my husband says that I have always had a list of complaints about almost every school I worked in.

For example, the last school I worked in only paid it's long-term subs a slightly higher rate than daily sub pay. That sucked.

The school before, well it wasn't full-time in one building.

The school before, I had to teach 3 periods worth of classes. I am not sure how one is supposed to take individualized language goals and teach a coherent class with it.

So, it should go without saying that my present job is not without it's complaints.

So today I was comprising my Perfect Job Environment list. Here goes:

1. Personal workspace. I have never before worked in a spot where I would get kids and then not know where I was going to work with them because there isn't currently space for more than one SLP, even though we have three.

2. A computer. This is also the first school where there wasn't a computer that I could use when I needed one. It's also the first school in MN that I didn't just automatically get my own computer when I signed on at the school. So it goes without saying that when an EA takes the computer home over the weekend and leaves it there, that I might be a tad upset when I can't do any of my computer work on Monday. I'm just saying.

3. Trust. Most districts that I have worked in trust that I know what I am doing and don't try to dictate when or how I can see my students. They have trusted that I provide the best type of service to fit the needs of the student.

4. Social Interaction. I like when the people I work with also become my friends. Most of the people on my postcard list are former co-workers. I miss having co-workers to go do stuff with, whether it be go out for someone's 40th or go to Sam's Club to buy candy for a wedding, or go to Target to buy candy for our prize cupboard, or go to dinner at Paradiso, or to a co-worker's for a haircut. I miss all that.

5. Respect. My husband says that no matter where one works, they will never get the level of respect that they would like. That may be true. I don't know. I would just like to work in an environment where speech is a valued service and we are respected because of the service we bring.

Eye of the Beholder

So, Thursday night, I decided that on Friday I would take Lukin (and Parker too) to the mall to use the arm band from Nickelodeon Universe that he had gotten for his 3rd birthday (seeing as we are less than a month from his 4th birthday). I asked my mother-in-law to join us so that she could watch Parker while I went on rides with Lukin. We had a fun morning, followed by lunch in the food court. Lukin had his old standby of McDonalds, and I had Japanese. (Stacie, they had some good looking Sushi, by the way.) After lunch, Carin wanted to go look for some kind of kitchen utinsel and so I took Lukin and we went to play with the legos at Lego Land for a few minutes before we were going to meet up again at The Children's Place. Lukin and Parker both got some sunglasses. Lukin got some flip flops (or as Weesie calls them fling flongs) and I got a couple birthday gifts out of the way.

Later that night, we went to the other mall to get my ring checked for it's 6-month checkup, and order Daddy some contacts. All in all, it was a pretty busy and fun day.

Next morning, I awaken to find that the sun has already come up. I kind of mini-panic because I can't think of what day it is and whether I am supposed to be ready for work right now or not. I then realize that it's Saturday (I'm pretty sure) and I glance at the clock to see it is 7:00. No one bugged me all night. No 3-year-old came in repeatedly needing to have his covers put back on. No baby cried to be nursed. It was a minor miracle of a night.

But even though I slept through the night, I was still exhausted. So, I tiptoed to the bathroom and tiptoed back to bed. About 7:15, a 3-year-old was at my side. I pulled him up into bed with me as he told me he wanted to watch cartoons. If that meant more sleep for me, here's the remote kid. (I know, bad parenting.) About 7:45, baby woke up. And even though we were upstairs by 8:00, it was a slow-to-get-started type morning. We made some blueberry muffins and then just hung out in the livingroom until 11am.

Parker is asleep from nursing and so I lay him down so I can get cleaned up. I start to feel guilty that it's 11 am and none of us are dressed and ready, whereas yesterday, we were already at the mall by 11:00. So as I am getting ready I try to think of something we can do to get us out of the house.

(Read with dripping sarcasm:) As much as I would enjoy taking me kids, to the zoo, by myself, on a Saturday, I resist that urge (end sarcasm). I contemplate the park, but decide against it. So, the best I come up with is for us to walk to KFC (within 3-year-old walking distance) for lunch, which we do.

Lukin doesn't really seem keen on the idea because a)he doesn't want to walk to lunch, and b)he wants McDonalds (again). I veto his decision because a) I'm the mom, and b) Parker can eat mashed potatoes, he can't eat fries.

We order our food and we get our drinks and we go to find a table while we wait for the food to be ready. Lukin picks a table with a highchair already at it. I just follow him. We sit down and get Parker in the highchair and get ourselves organized before the food is ready and then I go grab our lunch and sit down and get everyone set up to eat and lunch begins.

I don't realize until we are eating that there are people (a lady and her son) at the next booth and they are the only other people in the restaurant. It works to our advantage because Parker is so busy watching the lady that he doesn't shake his head at lunch. He just eats. Lukin eats his little Snacker sandwich and mac & cheese pretty good too. When the lady gets up from the next table to leave, she turns to us and tells me that I am doing a good job with the two little ones. She says that it's hard to try to take two little ones out alone (I hear that!) but that I am doing a really good job. I thank her and we chit chat for a few minutes, then she leaves.

Her compliment sticks with me the rest of the day.

Even though, walking to KFC for lunch wasn't exactly my idea of great parenting for the day, someone else viewed my solo attempt at lunch out with two little ones as being a good effort. I guess perspective is all in the eye of the beholder.

Annual Job Search Starts

It's disheartening when job openings come and go so fast that you don't even have time to apply for them. I saw one over the weekend and wanted to apply to it. I knew that the deadline for it was today, and so I went to upload my materials this evening, and it was already gone from the website. I sure hope that isn't a taste of what's to come in term of a job search for next year. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I am in need of a job, cuz I have one, but I want to know what other options are out there. If anyone knows of one, please let me know. Really.

Weekend

The boys were supposed to go to Texas this weekend for Ben's birthday. However, my sister-in-law had a cold that my mother-in-law didn't want the boys to get, and she didn't want to get it herself either. That was fine. Except that I needed to get a bunch of work done this weekend. Thankfully, I was able to get all my work stuff that needed to be done by Friday, done on Saturday. And I didn't have to spend the weekend all alone. I had made myself a things-to-do list, but many things got crossed off when I realized that I wouldn't have to find ways to fill my time.

Hot Tub Time Machine

If you have some free time in your schedule, I suggest that you go see this movie. I know, it's not a huge blockbuster like Titanic or anything. But, it was laugh out loud funny. I found myself laughing right out loud several times.

We went to see it because the very first time we saw a preview, my husband said, we gotta see a movie with that title. It was more like it had an 80s theme for him and John Cusack for me. I enjoyed it. Didn't know if I would, but I did.

Back from Vegas

Well, I had a wonderful trip out to Vegas. Mom's 50th was a lot of fun. Although, I had to give Stac grief when she called me before 9 am (even though it was almost 11 at home). We didn't even get to the hotel until 12:30 and then we dropped our stuff off and went downstairs to play a little bit and have a drink before going to bed. When we were heading upstairs, I commented to Sonny that I hoped it wasn't like 4 am our time...then I checked my phone and it was 1:55, 5 minutes from 4 am our time. And I still had to pump before bed, so I was still a little sleepy when Stac called.

Saturday was Mom's birthday and so we spent the day around our casinos while we waited for the guys who had gone golfing. So we took Mom to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch at MGM Grand. I know, I know, we have one of those here, but we have never gone there with Mom. Then we ventured over to New York New York for a while until Dad and Mark came back (along with the Canadian relatives) and then around 4-ish, we headed downtown, because that's where Mom wanted to go for her birthday and because we had dinner reservations downtown.

We ate dinner at this really nice restaurant. They split us up into two parties of eight, but side by side. Mom was on the end of her table and I was on the end of ours. Then Mic was across from me and Natalie was across from Mom. At our table was Sonny and I, Mic and Mark, Gigi and Nils, Justin, and Bonnie (Joanie's Mum). At Mom's table were her and Dad, Perry and Natalie, Jeff and Tracy, and Preston and Joanie (all of Nils' sons, and their wives (kinda like step-siblings to mom if they hadn't married so late in life)). Sonny and my bill came to over $100. And ours was the cheapest bill at the two tables.

After that, we went to outside to wait for 9 pm for the first Freemont Street Experience of the night. It was a tribute to the Doors. I personally hate The Doors, but it was still fun to watch. Dad, Sonny and I met up again at 10 and 11 to see the tributes to Queen and Kiss, respectively.

Oh yeah. I forgot that two different cab drivers told us that Krispie Kreme doesn't even hold a candle to Dunkin Donuts. So Sonny and I conducted a taste test. I do not agree with the cab drivers. I am still a Krispie Kreme fan. Thank you downtown for helping me with my 'research'.

Sunday, we attempted to start the day together by having all the relatives meet up at Mandalay Bay for Brunch before heading to the Belagio and the new City Center. Neither of those were things that I wanted to do, but I rode along to the Belagio but when Nils wanted to sit for a little bit and play, I knew it was time to leave because a)I don't like that casino (I remember not liking it from when we stayed there) and b)I knew it would take forever to get everyone out of there. So Sonny and I left and went over to Paris and Bally's to play. Then we took the tram back to MGM to hoof it over to M&M World to buy shirts for the boys. Then we walked them back to our room, I pumped and then Dad called to say that they were finished at the City Center and that they were coming to our hotel to take a cab with us down to Circus Circus and Slots'a'Fun. We didn't end up staying long because no one was really having a great time. So we probably were down there a couple hours before heading back.

We took a cab back to Excalibur because that was the only one of my faves that we hadn't yet been to. We had fun playing there. My dad played the same machine the entire time and cashed out over $400. He was pretty happy about that. I thought that was pretty cool. Although I don't think I would have the patience to sit at one machine all night.

After we left there, we played at our hotel a little while longer before heading to bed around 12:00 or so. We got back to the room around 2 or so and then I pumped and got ready for bed and was in bed by 3...probably the earliest night.

On Monday, we had to get up and get ready to head for home. We probably got to play for a half hour or so by the time we checked our bags with the bell hop and grabbed some lunch. We didn't even play at the airport because we went over and hung with Mic and Mark until their flight and then it was only an hour until ours. On the flight back, we watched The Blind Side. That was a good movie. And I would never have gotten a chance to watch it at home.

All in all it was a fun trip. I always hate to leave Vegas. I'm always sad that we didn't get to stay longer. But it's okay. I know we have plans to go back in August before the new school year starts.

Oh, and if you are one of the people that I typically send postcards to, I apologize. I did get around to purchasing them, but I never got around to filling them out, or mailing them. So I might just save them for next trip. That way I can make sure I have postage and can drop them in the mailbox so they have a Vegas postmark instead of MN one.

VEGAS!!

Less than 24 hours until I will be in Vegas! I am totally excited! Now, if only, I wasn't still up at 1 am working on IEPs before the trip.

Luck o' the Irish

So today we had some Irish Jig dancers perform at school. They were pretty good. Of course, I wouldn't really be able to tell if they were really bad.

Anyway, while they were performing, I was wondering if casinos are busier on St. Patrick's Day because people think it will be lucky. Then I started to giggle because all the casinos around here are on Reservations. And I thought that didn't really make much sense.

But then I realized that Gigi and Nils are already in Vegas for the weekend. They flew there today. I guess all the Canadian relatives (that are going to the birthday party) departed on St. Patty's Day. I wonder if there is any connection to my first thought, or if it was just when flights were available.

Seven Years ago today

If you don't remember what you were doing seven years ago today, good for you.

I do.

At least, I remember what the evening was like.

And though today has been a busy day and I haven't spent much time really thinking about it, it's been there, just floating in the back of my mind. And I thought I couldn't let the anniversary go by without some kind of mention, but I can't really think of what to say.

Perhaps the only thing to say is this: It's the seven year anniversary and I still remember. There is still a lot of sadness, in me, about it. But it is what it is.

Flying under the radar

My ex-fiance used to tell me that I have no idea what it is like to fly all day. He told me that I had no idea the toll it took on him every day. He told me that flying makes a person tired.

While all of this may have been true, I used to roll my eyes at these comments. But now, years later, I think I finally understand.

You see, I work in an environment that is hostile, for lack of a better way to describe it. And I spend the better part of every day trying to fly under the radar. I don't think that the actual job demands are any different in this job than any other I have ever worked, I just think that the flying under the radar is what makes me so tired every day.

Why do I exert this energy in this way? Case in point: Today, I heard the principal yell, "Get in my office! Now!" It was after school hours so I didn't know who would be getting into trouble. Turns out it was a staff member. He didn't agree with a policy that was recently implemented (and I don't agree with it either) regarding the micromanagement of the Educational Assistants. During her yelling at this staff member, someone had walked by her office and heard her tell him, "I always win!"

All I can say is, an administrator who says something like that, isn't an administrator. At least not one that deserves any respect. But, it also shows why I try to fly under the radar. If you don't get noticed, you won't get yelled at over nothing.

The illusion of multi-tasking

Here's something I learned in my class, about the brain, on Saturday: The Corpus Collosum (the bundle of nerves that connect the left and right hemispheres of the brain) is looser in women than in men. This is what gives women the illusion that we are able to multi-task. The example the lady gave was one of preparing dinner as a man vs. a woman.

If a man was preparing dinner and the phone rang, he would stop preparing the meal, answer the phone, take care of the call and return to dinner.

Meanwhile, if a woman was preparing a meal and the phone rang, she would answer it. But, she would tuck it between her ear and shoulder, continuing stirring, snap her fingers to get the kids to quit arguing, start emptying the dishwasher, and let the dog out, all while on the phone.

Most of us laughed at this example. But it's so true. So, I just had to share.

Just keep treading

Does anybody ever really get to the point where they think, "Okay, I got this covered."? I mean, at work, it's like I try to get through one project only to jump into the next, and there isn't really ever a reprieve. It feels like that at home too. My husband would probably claim, and my best friend would probably agree, that it's because I keep a planner. He says that every time I cross something out, I add two more things. I don't know if that's true, but sometimes it feels true.

Wednesday is only half-way through the week

So who knew that once I finished a big project at work that I would be less angry with my supervisor? Maybe it's the fact that some time has passed. Maybe it's the fact that I got the report done. Or maybe it's the fact that today I got clearance that I have been waiting on for almost a month to change my schedule. Whichever it is, I don't care, but I am glad to be breathing a little easier tonight.

But, that being said, I am tired. I'm glad that tomorrow is Thursday, but the week is truly only half over. I have class on Saturday this week. It's a workshop called "Save My License Saturday". I wonder who takes these classes? I mean, I wonder if it's a bunch of speech paths or if other educators take these classes too? It doesn't really matter either way, but I am just curious.

Lukin, Parker, and work

1. Big news in our house: We now officially have a potty-trained three-year-old. This has been going on for about two weeks now, but I forget what I want to say when I get on here, so I just remembered. Yay Lukin!

2. Apparently, although I have yet to see it, Parker can now sit up on his own. I came home to see that written on the calendar for Monday, March 1st. That's pretty exciting too! But I need to see it to confirm. :)

3. Right now I am back to hating work. There was an incident over the weekend (yes over the weekend) where my supervisor came in and was rearranging and apparently felt it was okay to go through my personal materials. I am not happy with her and have not spoken to her since Monday. And honestly, I feel like it is one 'last straw' after another. I've had about as much as I can take. But, after a phone call tomorrow, that will all change (hopefully) as of March 16th. I will elaborate more when it's time to do so.

Paparazzi

So I realized tonight as I was driving home and listening to this song (Paparazzi) that I forgot to mention that Little P now has two teeth. The reason I thought of that when I heard that song is because the day I came home and saw the first tooth, he wouldn't let me look in his mouth and I said that he was trying to avoid too much paparazzi.

Tonight, we went out to celebrate Kate's 26th birthday. It was pretty fun. I am really glad that I went. I needed to leave the building that causes me such stress with the people that I enjoy working with and have some fun. We went to this hole-in-the-wall bar where they have really good burgers, I had been told, and chatted and had a great time. I wish we could do stuff like that more often. I came home in a good mood and that was a huge change from the mood I went to school with, and spent most of the day with, today.

Olympics

I just love the Olympics. I love to see when whoever wins in whatever event is the one that deserves to win in that event. Even if they are not from the country I am cheering for at that time. I think that is cool.

Speech space, speech kid and my speech kid

So I talked to my supervisor today about some things that were bothering me. For example, on Thursdays, there are three speech people working and only one space for us to use. In the new space, there was supposed to be two quiet working environments, but there is currently only one. Then, as I sit and pump, I realize that no one is using the room that I pump in anymore (now that the music teacher has moved out of that office). But we are not allowed to use the room (except for me when I pump) because someone is going to use the room someday. Seriously?

The place frustrates me.

Then today, I had this little boy who is a little heavier. He told me that his mom told him that he weighs more than 35 elephants. I don't know the mom, so I don't know where this comment stems from. So I say to him, "You don't weigh as much as 35 elephants. Do you know how much that would be? That would weight as much as...(not being able to think of something, I came up with)...the school. Do you think you weigh as much as the school?" He said, "no. You want to know what I weight?" He told me, and I told him that wasn't as much as 35 elephants. I also told him that his mom was just kidding when she said that (even though I don't know that to be true). But why would a mom say that? Honestly.

Two sessions later, I have the previously mentioned student's brother. We were working on the /f/ sound and he gets the word 'food'. He creates the sentence: "My brother is fat because he eats too much food." I couldn't believe it. The poor little brother. There won't be any self-esteem issues there thanks to Mom and Bro. No. None at all.

In other news, after school, we went to Lukin's parent teacher conference. I realize that I ask a lot of questions, but I know, working in special education, that I am my own child's best advocate. If I don't advocate for him, who will? He is currently too little to do it himself. So it's up to me. But I feel like we came away with some good information about him, and I feel reassured about some things because he's the only 3-year-old that I know, so I have no frame of reference.

Snowy Snowy

I asked Sonny if we could move to Omaha. I am tired of this driving to work in snowy conditions every single day. He said that it wouldn't be any better there because if it did snow, they practically have to shut down because they aren't equipped to handle large amounts of snow. Exactly.

Simultaneously happy and sad

Tonight, I was playing with P on the floor and he was laughing at Mommy and I noticed something in his mouth. At first, I thought it might have been drool. But I think that it might be the first tooth coming through (though I couldn't feel it). This made me super happy because my little guy is growing up and sad at the same time because once he has a mouth full of teeth, we won't ever have another little mouth with no teeth again. It brought a tear to my eye. Sonny said to cheer up. He said that in 25 years or so, I would have grandchildren with no teeth. Thanks Sonny. Something to look forward to.

Rambling tired thoughts.

So I am aware that some football game is on right now, but for the second year in a row, we are at home, keeping it low key. Partly because I have to work tomorrow, and partly because the Vikings didn't make it. In fact, I could curl up and fall asleep on the couch right now. But I will try to stave that off until I nurse the baby. I was up too late reading a book I have to read for work last night, and partly having a slumber party with L-train, even though he fell asleep by 7:30. But it was funny to watch him wake every once in a while and move to another location as I worked on a project in the dining room. He's such a funny kid.

What else is new?

I'm stressed. It's almost like introducing myself. If you know me, you know that I get stressed. The stress is partly because of my job. But currently, it is also partly because we need to find a preschool for our three-year-old, and because I need to acquire a few more hours for my license before it expires in June and even though I know how to get those hours, I don't know what to do with them once I get them. So, like I said, I am feeling stressed. And crabby.

A lady at work, that I view as somewhat like a mentor has given me some advice, and I have taken it to heart. However, if I am to implement what advice has been given to me, it would take a toll on me, personally. My husband says that I am far too hard on myself. But I want to do a perfect job, and still be able to manage my personal life without feeling that I am sacrificing one for the other. And it's harder than it sounds.

I'm sure I will figure something out. And hopefully before I totally stress myself out.

Hard to do

Lately, the hardest thing for me to do, is stay up past 8:30 pm. I am not even kidding. As soon as Parker needs to be nursed, I lay down to nurse him and I totally fall asleep. Tonight, I insisted on feeding him on the boppy so I would stay awake, but I was almost dozing off anyway. Way to be me. But the whole reason for staying awake was so that I could make some babyfood, and that never got done, so way to go me.

Company

I love getting company. I love when people come to see us. But I hate when they leave and then it's quiet again and you can't think of what to look forward to next. I have always been this way. Even when I was single. You might think that being married and having children would eliminate that lonely feeling after company leaves, but it doesn't totally. I miss my family. I miss North Dakota.

Vikings

My whole upper body is stiff from being so tense during the Vikings game. I don't know why I was so worked up. I mean it would have been awesome if they would have won and made it to the Super Bowl. But I had to keep reminding myself, "it's just a football game," but that didn't ease the tension. I just wanted to see them win and see Favre (and the rest of the team) make it to the Super Bowl.

Well-run organizations and Conan O'Brien

In a well-run organization, you wouldn't get in trouble for not following protocol when you call in sick, when no one ever told you what protocol was.

In a well-run organization, you wouldn't work for more than a month without a contract.

In a well-run organization, you wouldn't question which was the less of two evils: not having a contract, or actually getting one.

In a well-run organization, you wouldn't get shoved into doing something without some form of informational session or training.

In a well-run organization, there is a HR department.

Speaking of well-run organizations, what is up with The Tonight Show and NBC? I feel bad for Conan O'Brien. I know that he is going to get a whole lot of money out of the deal, but I feel like the guy never got a chance to make it work. I mean I never really liked him when he was on his late show, but I liked him on The Tonight Show. Don't get me wrong. I like Jay Leno too. I just feel it is bad for the institution known as The Tonight Show to keep a host for less than a year. It just seems to me like it cheapens the franchise. But that's just my opinion.

I'm just sayin'

Yesterday we had a meeting that involved knowing appropriate and inappropriate times to drink coffee. The conversation concluded with, "If you have any questions about what are appropriate times to drink coffee, let me know." I am not even kidding. I feel like in a well-run organization, you wouldn't waste people's time by having meetings about approriate times to drink coffee. You wanna know when an appropriate time is? The second after I got my degree. Either of my degrees. They qualify me to drink coffee (or my Mt. Dew) whenever I want. "Fair" is not a word that I worry about in terms of having a coffee (or Mt. Dew, as I tend to choose) while teaching. I will not be micromanaged in this way. I'm just sayin'.

A gift horse

So I know that I have spent much time complaining about not having a job. So, it should go without saying that in getting a job, I should just be happy. But, me being me, I have some things about my new job that I don't really care for.

1. I feel isolated. I feel like an outsider to the special ed staff that already exists. I don't know if this is because I am the only married one with children.

2. I don't like micromanagement.

3. I don't like a complete lack of direction either.

4. I don't like to be bored.

5. I don't like to feel like I am just being used for manual labor in the move to the new space.

6. I don't like that my first paycheck was not correct and that there was $0 withheld for federal. What's up with that anyway? I didn't even think that was humanly possible.

7. I don't like that there isn't a union to protect me from any errors in my paycheck (like if they say that they didn't promise me the salary they said that I would be getting).

8. I don't like that I haven't gotten a contract yet.

But to not be totally negative, here's a couple things I like:

1. I like that it is relatively close to where I live.

2. I like that we start later than at my last school. (But I don't like the being there so much later part...oh well, this is supposed to be the positive part.)