Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Well, I know that I already did an entry for today but I wanted to wish everyone who reads this a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I hope everyone has safe travels wherever they might travel over the next couple weeks and that you are surrounded by your family and friends and that you get a nice warm fuzzy feeling by being surrounded by those you love. So until next year, take care!!

Being Jewish vs. Being weight conscious

Now, I want to preface this by saying that what I am about to say is not intended to offend anyone. So if you are offended, get over it because I wasn't trying to do that.

This has to do with the difference between being Jewish (or some other faith, or lackthereof), and being weight conscious. This week at school, the morale committee decided that it would be a good idea to have a day where everyone on staff brought a dozen holiday cookies to share with the rest of the staff. It wasn't like a cookie exchange, but rather a smorgasboard of goodies for everyone. And though I brought some peanut butter bars, I didn't really participate. I was kind of sad because if I was some other religion besides Christian, then no one would have asked me to bring bars, because they wouldn't have wanted to offend me. But the fact that I am trying to eat healthy and not eat junk really wasn't a factor to them. Now I know that weight loss is not a religion, but to those that take it way too seriously, it sort of is. I wanted to maintain my weight loss plan at least until we left for Christmas, but this week at work has not been easy.

Of course, I am sure that this is the case in any work environment this week. There are probably goodies galore, and though everyone wants to eat them, they all feel bad for doing it, and yet do it anyway. (I should confess that I did have three pretzel twists dipped in almond bark.) But it just doesn't seem right. You know?

Not (yet) in the Christmas Spirit.

So, here we are a week before Christmas and less than 5 days before I leave for the holidays, and I am not excited. Maybe not excited is not the correct phrase. It's more that I am not in the holiday mood. I don't know why. I am ahead of where I would normally be in terms of getting everything done. I have about 5 more presents to wrap and 4 more details on the other project to finish. I don't know that it has to do with stress. But maybe it does. I do have a few things that I would like to get done before the end of the day on Thursday. But it has been a good morning because I have already completed three of the things on the list. Now there's only 6 more things to complete. Yay.

What else do I know? That's pretty much it for today. I don't want to go to my other building today because I got it in my head that it is not a very friendly building. Well, that would be the other speech paths. They don't really socialize. I know that is not the point of our job, but they could be a little cordial once in a while. That's just me though.

Well, better go get psyched for two very loud, very foul-mouthed high schoolers.

Stressed out for the holidays

There were so many things going through my head yesterday that I wish I had written in here so that I didn't forget any of them. But here's hoping I remember them all.

First, let me start by saying that I am feeling totally stressed out. I think it is holiday related. I mean why is it that when the holidays get here, this month seems to fly by. I mean it is not any shorter than any other month with 31 day months, but it sure feels like it. It may be related to the fact that there are so many things that 'need' to get done, but they seem to take forever. Take, for example, trying to do Christmas cards last night. I don't want to take the time to hand write all the labels, and why should I have to when everyone's address is already on the computer? But our computer is so slow that it sucks. I get so pissed that I can barely contain myself. That's how much fun I am for the holidays. Just ask Sonny. The things that are supposed to be enjoyable for the holidays, are the things that make me the most frustrated.

Take, for example, the fact that the boys are leaving for Texas tonight and will be gone until Friday. You would think that I should be able to get a large amount of things done. Like how Sonny told me that I should wrap all the presents while they are gone. We haven't started wrapping any presents. I don't know what kind of Hudini he thinks I am, but there is no way that I could get them all wrapped in the little bit of time they are gone. I mean, unless I skip work and don't sleep, I don't think that will get done.

Which leads me to my next point. Not only am I stressed at home with holiday stuff, but I am stressed at work as well. This isn't really a new thing. I usually am spending my time checking out my list of things that I need to get done at work, and though things get crossed off on my list, I always seem to add things. So I have two more assessments that need to be finished by Christmas break. And there are more assessments in the wings. Then there are the regular activities that I have to plan. But all those things just make me feel pushed by an unappreciative school district. How can I care about everything when the district doesn't really care about me? Exactly.

Even though I feel pretty white trash saying this, we took Lukin to Overtime on Sunday. But turns out, kids are welcome there. Sonny went inside with Lukin and I waited because I worked there before and even though it was a bar and grill, my friend, Harmony, and her family tried to eat there and got ejected because they had babies. But it has been sold to Neil and he has small children so I guess you can bring kids there now. But I assume that's during the day, I think that at night, it becomes mostly bar. So yeah, our son has had his first experience at Overtime. (Oh and for the record, there was a small baby there and another little child who was probably a little older than Lukin.)

Last thing I thought of for today. Yesterday, I was driving from my one school to the other, and a Chris Isaak song came on and for some reason he reminded me of Roy Orbison. I don't know why. And I don't know if anyone has ever made that comparison. But that's what I thought of by the way Chris was singing. I am sure Amanda will read this and make fun of me for making that comparison, but I don't care.

The Christmas List

So we are all aware of the fact that Santa has his "List" of who has been good and who has been bad. However, did anyone ever think that maybe Santa's "List" isn't really about the behavior of others, but rather, it's a list of things that need to be done before Christmas.

Currently, I have a nice list of things that need to be done at home, and an even longer list of things that need to be done at school. I don't even think that all the things are going to get done right away. I feel like every time I look at a list of things to do, I freak out and don't want to do anything. I think that is why I don't get as much stuff done as I want to do: because I stress out that there is a list at all.

Well, better go and get to some of that stuff. I can't wait.

P.S. For the record, I got almost all my Christmas shopping done this weekend so that is pretty exciting. At least that is something that I won't have to be cramming into that last week before Christmas.

Leaving Las Vegas

So I am home from Vegas. It was a fun trip. I am still exhausted. I am hoping to sleep in a little bit on Friday, and yes, I will take 8 am as sleeping in. Maybe it's because my diet hasn't exactly been the healthiest food since we went to Vegas. I mean, you eat all the food on Thanksgiving and then you go to Vegas. I swear that my stomach hurt every time we ate. I should have eaten crappier so that my stomach wouldn't hurt when we ate. Although one night, Dad took us to a place called Gallaghers in New York, New York. I had salmon and green beans. It was probably the healthiest thing I ate while on my trip. I don't think that my stomach hurt after that meal. Don't even ask me about the 1/2 pound hotdog for 99 cents. Bleck.

So, Sonny and I had this pretend deal that if we came back with the money we took, we could go back for our anniversary. We didn't. And I am kind of glad because the city is too sleezy. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's lots of fun. But I don't like not being able to walk down the street without people coming up and offering you cards promoting stripper clubs, or offering to give you money for random things. It creeps me out. So Sonny if you read this, we can stay out of Nevada for our anniversary.

When I got to the airport on Monday, I was sad to leave but every time I saw a child, it made me anxious to get home to see Lukin. After I got picked up, we went over to my in-laws for supper and then we went home and Lukin was sitting on my lap and he was shaking his head at me when I told him that he had to go to bed in 10 minutes. I was exhausted so I closed my eyes for a couple minutes and when I opened them Lukin was sound asleep on my lap. It was precious.

Misc. and Sundry

We (Lukin and I) survived the haircut. It was traumatic because they set him on this chair and strapped him in and right away he got this terrified look on his face and started bawling. He lived because some lady came over and was blowing bubbles with this little toy and he was distracted enough by that so the lady could cut his hair. I couldn't believe it took all of 15 minutes. I should have short boy hair so my hair appointments take that little time.

Speaking of appointments, I am going to go and get my nails done tonight before Thanksgiving and Vegas. I am not going to make an appointment because I don't like the lady that keeps doing my nails and giving me a card. She makes me bleed every time, and/or makes my nails ache. That can't be good either. So I am going to hope I get the old lady. She is the mom or something and she does a great job and she doesn't hurt my nails.

What else do I know? I know that I need new jeans and/or khakis for Christmas. My pants are too big and I spend half the time pulling them up. So, Stacie take a note, and let mom know too, that is what I want for Christmas.

I just noticed that I am wearing blue today and that I wore a big comfy blue sweater yesterday and that I will wear a sweater with blue in it tomorrow. That's not very festive for Thanksgiving. But whatever.

Well, better get back to writing my report. I haven't had any kids this morning. Tuesday is my assessment morning, and then the classes that I usually go into have a sub that is just letting them play on their computers so they aren't doing anything they need help with so I am just sitting in my room bored with doing reports.

Have a swell day!

Haircut

So Mommy may be experiencing a little trauma tomorrow night as we are taking Lukin to get his first "real" haircut.

I have to say that dinner last night proved to be a productive (as well as yummy) time with all we accomplished. We discussed family pictures which are scheduled for Friday. Originally, the three of us were going to be in them, as we were last year, but this year we were going to wear Sioux sweatshirts. I was trying to convince my husband that we should either wear something else or not be in the picture. Sonny wanted to know why and I told him because I thought maybe the logos on the sweatshirts would be too small to see in pictures so it would just look like we were all wearing green sweatshirts and jeans...not exactly family portrait appropriate attire.

So we decided that Lukin could be in the picture himself but that he needed a haircut to be in a picture alone. Then we were trying to decide what he should wear and I remembered that I had got him a couple outfits for Christmas gifts and that we would just let him wear one of those outfits, and we can replace the gift (if we need to).

So now it's all set except for the haircut. I am worried because the last two moms that have told me that they got their child a haircut have said that they hated the haircut when it was done. I like Lukin's little bowl haircut. I don't want him to look dumb, or worse, like an ugly little boy. So hopefully, there won't be many tears shed on either one of our parts. And hopefully, he will still be adorable.

P.S. Who knew that a pasta supper (made with whole grain pasta and ground turkey) would fuel our brains enough to get so much organized?

Random

I haven't written in here since the end of October so I feel pretty bad about that, but I can't really think of a whole lot to talk about. So I will just put my random thoughts for today.

1. Yesterday, for those of you not keeping track, Lukin turned 18 months old. Yay! He really is an old man now.

2. On Sunday, we had to take one flight and then come back later to get our luggage because they couldn't put all of us on the plane with our luggage because it would exceed weight limit. (No fat jokes please...it has to do with weight and balance.) Anyway, when we came back to get our luggage, I was watching all the people rushing to and fro getting their luggage and I wondered what some of their stories were. Were they returning from a fun vacation? Were they away on business? Were they attending a wedding? A funeral? I was so curious. But Sonny would never know that because it took forever for the luggage to come down the thing that I was a little bit crabby. I know. What? Me crabby? Never.

3. I think I am getting sick. I am beyond exhausted. That happens frequently but with my family all having been sick in the last couple weeks, I am sure it is almost my turn.

4. I have to go to the dentist today. I can't wait to see how that goes. I am trying not to be sick so that I can get through that. As if you can try not to be sick.

Bah humbug...wait, wrong holiday.

So you could never tell by the fact that I am dressed all in orange and black, have my Halloween socks on (with the jingle ghosts), have been coloring pumpkin pictures for the kids today, and prepared 7 halloween 'treats' (play-doh attached to a note that says, "Happy Halloween from your speech teacher, Jennifer" on them, that I may have ruined Halloween. How do you ruin Halloween? you might ask. Well, as I was coming up stairs this morning, I saw some movement on the landing. Being the level-headed person I have become around crawly things, I set my stuff down, and went into the bathroom to grab a couple Kleenex, and went back to get rid of the crawliness. I realized as I was about to attack, that it was a spider. And as I squished him in the Kleenex, I thought to myself, "Is it bad luck or something to kill a spider on Halloween? Does that make me like the Scrooge of Halloween? Or what? I may never know...

P.S. There was some looney congressman on the radio this morning trying to spread the word about the HHCI (Halloween Healthy Child Initiative) which would make it illegal to hand out just candy on Halloween. In order to not get break the law, you would have to hand out fruits and vegetables as well as candy. See why he seems looney?

Did you fill out the form that you didn't know existed yet?

When you work at a job, there are aspects of the job that you don't understand, and there are those parts that you don't even know exist until someone wants to know why you didn't do something. I am currently faced with one of those things. Last year, when I worked full time, I didn't really have to worry about the number of hours that I worked, nor did I have to turn in an hours sheet because I was working all of them. I wanted to take the Monday off after Thanksgiving but not as a personal day, but rather as a day that the district owed me (which I have since learned is called a comp day). Well, in trying to figure out the details of this, I found out that there was supposed to be this form that was to be filled out to submit to let the district know that you are working all the hours you are supposed to. I didn't even know the form existed until yesterday. And I assume that the form was supposed to be in sometime in September. But seeing as no one has ever told me these things, I would never know. I hope that I don't get into too much trouble because of this, but we'll see. It's hard to be the one who has been here so people assume you know what you are supposed to do, and not knowing what to do because you have assumed a new role for the new year. Oy. Hopefully I will get it figured out. And hopefully soon enough to get the Monday after Thanksgiving off.

My son loves Mommy's snack choices.

So when my son gets up, he needs to have a snack. I don't think his dad realizes how long it is between noon-ish and 5:00-5:15-ish for a 17-month-old child. So when I get home, I usually have to be the one to bust out the snack. On Monday, I had grapes left from my lunch, so Lukin and I sat on the couch and finished them. Then yesterday, we sat on the couch and had goldfish. Baby goldfish. Of course, he doesn't seem to have any use for his mom when he gets up. He really just wants to be held, and since he was napping with Daddy, he wants to be held by Daddy. This makes me sad. But at least, he will come with me for the snack part.

Sonny says that I shouldn't take it personally. He points out that when it is time for bed, Lukin wants Mommy. He will whine if I am in the room and am not rocking with him. In fact, I realized this when I tried to sit down on the couch when he was rocking with Daddy. It was like one of those cartoons where the baby starts to cry only when one certain thing happens. That was Lukin. Every time I would bend my knees to sit on the couch, he would fuss because he wanted me to come sit with him. Then when you reach out your arms to him, he giggles because that is what he wants. It's pretty cute, actually.

I heard the news today...oh, boy.

I was watching the news on Saturday night, and there was this story about some 16 month-old surviving something, but I didn't stay tuned because of the story that they felt was more important. Before the commercial break, and before the story of how some little kid survived something, there was a story about how the author of the Harry Potter seriers outed one of the characters. I believe his name was Dumbledore. Seriously? How is this story more important that some kid surviving something? I don't care if the kid survived a cold, it would still be more news worthy than Dumbledore being gay! It was more like the kind of story you would see on Entertainment Tonight rather than local news, and that is where it was, on the local news. Like I mentioned, I was so disturbed by the lack of judgment on the part of the news editors, that I turned the news off.

Relaxing...my foot.

So the boys are in Texas right now so that should mean that I have all this time to just relax when I go home from work. Yeah, right. For some reason, a break from the boys means time to get a bunch of things done. Of course, the one thing that I am not getting done is resting.

Sunday afternoon, I played on the computer a little bit (played the Sims). Then I worked on and finished my wedding photo album (if you are getting married, STACIE, don't have kids before you get your album done because then it may take you forever to finish it). Then I did the regular stuff that I do: picking up the house, preparing for work Monday, etc.

On Monday, I worked the regular day (even though it wasn't really regular because the kids weren't there), and then after school I had to run home quick and change and freshen up before heading to my other school for conferences for another 4 hours. While I was there, I was talking with the school psych and she told me that I should go home and rest because I deserved it, as all the teachers who had worked a 12 hour day did. But did I do that? Not so much. I went home and I did sit and watch Heroes. So that was my 'rest' time. Then I went downstairs to put away a pile of clothes on the dresser. Then I proceeded to empty that dresser so that I could move it into Lukin's room so that he has a dresser so he isn't always dragging his clothes out from the baskets they are currently in. This took a little over an hour. Then I tried to find something to wear for conferences today that looked okay and was warm enough for the icebox that is my classroom, got myself ready for bed and was in bed by 11:15-ish.

So needless to say, I am sleepy today because when the boys are home I am usually in bed between 10:00 and 10:15-ish. Without them home, I should be able to get more sleep, but not so much. Of course, you probably know what I mean. You start to do something which leads to another thing to do, and then another, and then another, etc., etc. And just so you know, I have 9 things that I want to get done before I go to bed tonight. With getting out at noon today, hopefully, I will be able to get this all done and go to bed before 11:00.

Moment of Silence for Applebees Blondie

So last night, I went out for supper with Brenda, Deb and Sam. After dinner, we were discussing desserts, and so the lady brought the dessert menu. But it's changed. They are changing the dessert menu so that it is all these little $1.99 cups that are not as big as the old desserts. Of course, that's a bummer. I am a big fan of the triple chocolate meltdown. I am sad, but I will be okay. I think I will be fine because, even though I really like it, I don't get to have it often enough for me to be that sad about it's disaapearance from the menu. (Besides, there was a dessert that they used to have that I used to love, and that one is gone, and I don't even remember what it was.)

However, Sam seemed distraught over the fact that they weren't going to have the blondie anymore. So much so, that he had to have it, and seemed sad. Maybe he wasn't really that upset, but it became the focus of our conversation for the rest of the meal. When they got done, Brenda joked that they should have taken a picture of it so they could always remember it. Sam then joked that he should order another and then take a picture. They obviously didn't. But that's good because that way if someone else is very upset about the end of the blondie era, they can still get one of the last ones.

So I would like to dedicate this entry to the end of the Applebees Blondie era with a moment of silence...and since you are probably reading this quietly, the moment of silence is probably covered. So have a nice day.

What kind of establishment?!?

So, as you are all aware, last weekend, we went up north to celebrate my birthday. We went out to dinner, not where we had originally intented, but it was good nonetheless. And thanks to Brenda for making the reservations for us, even though we had to wait 50+ minutes for our table because they thought we had 4 in our party and not 10. WTF? I don't know what part of 4 sounds like 10 on the phone, but the dude who took the call should have his hearing checked.

Anyway, after dinner, we enjoyed Amanda's homemade cake. It was yummy: chocolate tower with chocolate frosting. Everyone in the restaurant was looking at us. I think they were just jealous that no one that was in their party had made cake with fondant on it. Jerks. Either that or they were jealous that no one in their party was singing to them. Jerks.

So after the dinner, we ran back to the hotel to powder our noses and get ready to head to a local establishment. I won't say the name, but if you know me well, you can probably guess where we went.

So we were there and we saw this girl at the counter and she was hitting on this guy. Pretty soon we see her and the guy kissing and start making out. Gross. Go do this somewhere else. But that's not even the half of it because like 5 minutes later, that guy has left and she is making out with another guy at the bar. My sister and I are watching this girl, whom I 'affectionately' name, "Herpes Girl". I ask the bartender if there is a way to get "Herpes Girl" to go somewhere else. He tells us she is from Grafton, and that, in his words, "She is kinda slutty." Nice.

Anyway, the girl was smashed and the four of us girls sat and talked about how we would never let another one of us ever have something like that happen to us. We would cut the others off way before we started making out with random guys, etc, etc. As we are having this conversation, a couple guys come in that must be part of a wedding, because they are in tuxes, and the girl works her way over to one of these guys and subsequently drags him back to the men's bathroom.

We were horrified. First, because that was a terrible slutty thing for that girl to do. Second because we were at an establishment that has never been known for that type of activity. Third, because that kind of 'crap' probably happens all the time at other, lesser quality, establishments, but not at this place. The brother happened to be the brother of the owner and was worried that his brother was sitting at home, watching the establishment on the webcam, and was going to be mad or disappointed with him.

I hope that we don't witness another event like that there again. I also hope that the girl gets help. (I forgot to mention that she passed out in the bathroom while with the guy.) I hope she finds some real friends who wouldn't let that happen instead of sit at the table and ignore her while she drinks herself to alcoholic poisoning. And lastly, I hope I never see that girl skanking out there again!

It's a pretty good day.

So, it's finally here. I have turned 30 years old. And I have to say, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Granted, I kind of look forward to my birthday every year (call it the kid in me), and so that is the part that is making it not so bad today.

The other exciting news is that I weighed myself in honor of my 30th birthday to see if I made my 10 pound goal by my 30th birthday and TA-DA! I did! So I am 30 and 10 pounds lighter. That's a pretty good day.

Add to that the fact that my husband and I played the Minnesota State Lottery last night (scratch offs) and we each won. Granted it was $8 total, but that's a profit since it cost us $6 to play. And even though that is not very exciting, the exciting part is that combined with our previous winner, we have won $53. That's a pretty good pseudo-birthday present.

All in all, it's a pretty good day. Like that song from 13 going on 30. Have a good one everyone!!

A very sad day.

So when the alarm went off this morning, I was so sad. I laid there thinking that it was the last day I would be waking up in my 20's. Of course, I don't turn 30 until after 10 am, but most people just assume it's their birthday once it's midnight. I assume this will be the same kind of thing.

So, I am sad today. I didn't think I would feel this way about turning 30 but I don't want to get any older. I don't want to go back and be a teenager again or anything either. I just don't want to leave the 20s. I have (for the most part) enjoyed this decade. It has been full of many different experiences: college, grad school, first job, second job, third job, fourth job; no boyfriend, boyfriend who turned into fiance, back to single, hazy area, outlaw boyfriend, friend who is a boy, who becomes boyfriend, who becomes fiance, who becomes husband; no child to one child; and so on.

The 30s are going to be pretty banal. I look at everyone else in their 30s and they talk about house payments, car insurance, day care, etc. It's not as exciting as it was in the 20s. I don't know. Maybe that is a harsh judgement, but I don't see the 30s glorified the same way that the 20s are in the media. I am scared to turn 30. I hope it's not lame. If you have any advice on turning 30, I am all ears.

I found the song.

So for the last week or so, I have had this song in my head and it had some lyrics about leaving some shoes in a tree and the guy wears them to your house. So I have been trying to figure out what song has those lyrics in it because I figured it was Dave Matthews, Badly Drawn Boy or Jack Johnson, because those are some of the cds in my car, and it was a male voice. So, I was trying to listen to all the songs, without having to listen to them, to see if I heard the line I was looking for. It was haunting me because I knew it was in my car somewhere.

So this morning, I have the Badly Drawn Boy cd in and I feel like that is the voice, but cannot find the song. Suddenly, more of the lyrics came into my head and I realized that it was BDB, but that it was on a cd that was made from songs on the computer...what's that website, where you buy the songs? It was made from songs on there. I remember the cd cost me 18.81 or something like that. But in case you are curious and would like to hear the song, it is called 'Magic in the Air' by Badly Drawn Boy. It's great.

In other news...

I thought my husband was a jerk because someone made a comment on one of my entries about wanting some cheese with my whine. It was signed anonymous, and so all day, I was upset about it. I mean, if you don't what you read, don't complain to me, just don't read it. So I was defensive about it all day because I had some names in mind of people that I thought would do that. Then when I got home, I asked Sonny about it. It was him. He said he meant it in a joking way, but it's hard to read it that way when it's written, you know. Anyway, I had to write that because after he told me that he wrote that, he figured he would make the blog.

It's Dawn's Birthday!

So today is Dawn's birthday. Who is Dawn? She is the business manager from when I worked in Medina. She's cool. She is one of the few people that I miss from there. So happy birthday Dawn!

This weekend, we went to The Cheesecake Factory for Deb's birthday. (Happy Belated Birthday Deb!) Neither my husband nor I have been to that place before. It was really good, but just so you know, if you have not ever been there, be prepared to take food home.

Well, other than that, not a lot to report. I had a million things to get done but they never really get done. My mom says that's part of having children. The only way everything ever gets done is to get really motivated.

Meh. That's about all I got.

Expedia-Orbitz-Travelocity-Priceline ...Nice.

Has anyone out there ever tried to use one these websites to try to plan a trip? You have got to be kidding me. Okay, okay. So it's not really the websites that suck, but the fact that each of them get so many rooms at a hotel (I am assuming) and when they are gone, you don't really know if they are sold out or not. We bounced around on these websites for a few days, and finally last night, we needed to get our reservations made for my birthday weekend, or we would be staying in scary one star hotel hell. So we go from website to website, and there are a good amount of hotels that we are willing to stay in. But as you go from website to website, some say they are all sold out, some don't. Then when you find a hotel that has available rooms, they vary in price from website to website.

Nice.

Well, initially we were trying to get rooms at the Holiday Inn because they have a good pool for Lukin. Then when we couldn't get at least one of our rooms to guarantee that it would have two beds, we bailed on that idea. I mentioned that the weekend we stayed in Fergus Falls, we didn't use the pool, so we were okay with the fact that there wasn't necessarily a good pool. So we booked a suite (so we knew there would be sleeping area for three people) and a mystery room. I don't know what they call it on the website but you won't know what type of room it is til you check in. So, to me, that makes it a mystery.

Nice.

The main thing is that we now have enough sleeping area for the six of us. Now I just gotta get myself going so that there will be more than 3 of us out for my birthday. You like that? There will be six of us there but only three of us will go out for my birthday.

Nice.

I can't even put my best friend in charge of arranging something so friends can come because she has to work her new second job until 9 pm. So I guess I will be begging people to come to my own birthday party, and look lame and have no one show (as per my Going Away Party).

Nice. Real Nice.

Hair

So tonight I am getting my hair done. I don't really need it cut, but I am getting it highlighted and trimmed in 'honor' of my 30th birthday that is coming up next week. And in getting ready for my hair appt. I have been thinking about my best friend making fun of Lukin's bowl haircut. So I was thinking that maybe I should make an appointment to get his hair cut too. Of course, I like his little blonde head. I don't think he needs a haircut but, then again I don't want his hair to get so long that he is constantly mistaken for a girl. I don't want him to have a total ugly boy haircut either. He is too little for a buzz cut. My husband doesn't understand that, but there are kids Lukin's age that have no hair. We have to take advantage of this hair while he is basking in it. He can have the short, ugly boy haircut later on in life. And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Desk Adjuster

Does anyone (besides me) remember when you were in elementary school and one of the first few days of school, one of the janitors would come in and adjust the height of your desk for you? I do. I wish that person would show up here. When I spend a lot of time on the computer, my neck gets all sore because I am looking down. Now maybe it would make a difference if we had desktop computers instead of laptops, but I don't really know.

Nothing else fabulous to report. However, if you have a Facebook page, please feed my mouse, Meow. He is hungry and we have very little money left for food. What they don't come up with...

SURPRISE!!!

So this weekend, Nicole Brown turned 30 (well actually it's today but whatever). So Brenda threw her a surprise birthday party. It was fun. Everyone kind of had their part to play. For example, Nicole was under the impression that it was a condensed version of girls weekend where we (Brenda, Deb, Amanda, Nicole, Barbie, and I) were going to go out for supper to celebrate Nicole's, Deb's and my upcoming birthday. So she sent out this email asking for details about the weekend. I replied because I didn't want anyone to answer her questions and for her to get suspicious. She wanted to know a time and where we were going and if she could invite Barbie or not. I answered all her questions even though I knew all the information...from the invitation.

Well, Brenda was worried about how she was going to get Nicole to Grandma's when Nicole wanted to go to Olive Garden. So, they came up with this plan to pick up Deb who was out with Sam and one of Sam's college friends and then head to Olive Garden. They walked into the restaurant and I don't think Nicole realized at first. Deb and Sam were sitting closest to the door and you don't really look around, until we all yelled, "Surprise!" Then she was saying that she was never going to believe anything we said ever again.

I couldn't get over how many people showed up for her birthday party. I didn't count but it seemed like there was between 20 and 30. I don't think that even 6 people will show up for my birthday party. Nice.

Then I had to fly out of TRF. Are you even kidding me? I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, and then we flew to Hibbing, and that felt even more desolate. I guess Cavalier is all the isolation I can handle. But I don't really have anything else to say about that.

A Splash of Good News

For those of you who don't really know me that well, I am a worrier. And I always seem to find something to worry about, even when there isn't really anything that I need to be worrying about. Case in point, teaching license renewal. I started worrying about this on Monday night and have been thinking about it ever since. I'm all freaked out because you have to get 125 clock hours in 4 different categories, plus 5 semester credits (which I think can count as part of your clock hours) and then some misc. amount, which I can't think of off the top of my head for my professional license. This all freaks me out because you have to go through this every five years, for your entire career.

That is, if you are not a Speech Pathologist. Yesterday, I found out that because I am a member of my professional organization and hold the National License associated with that, I am exempt from collecting the 125 clock hours. All I have to do is attend at least one workshop or seminar in each of the four areas, regardless of the hours, to accrue enough time to renew my license. That helps to make me feel better.

It seems like there is always something, doesn't it?

Dearest Stacie

I wanted to pause for a quick second and apologize to my sister who apparently was mad that I think of her as my 'little' sister. But she is my little sister. It's not that I don't think she is a grown up but that I am always going to overprotective, and I will always remember her as the little girl that I lived with. So, Stacie, if you read this, please know that I love you and that I wasn't trying to make you mad. I just have to be protective and help you because I'm your big sister and that is what what the big sister handbook says to do. :)

Give me a break Sally Field

So last night the Emmy's were on. I don't necessarily care. But I watched. I mean, I like the shows I like, and I am going to keep watching them regardless of whether or not those programs win. That being said, there were some parts that I enjoyed and some parts that sucked.

For example, I enjoy Louis Black. Therefore, I enjoyed his little rant about what we don't want while we are watching a program. He's right. I don't need to know what is debuting in two weeks. I don't care about that show, I am watching the one I care about. Etc.

The part that I hate is when someone wins and that individual goes up on stage to claim their award and give their little speech and their speeches are about the war. Look, I don't care what you think about war, "The War" or anything about how you feel politically. I am watching this show because I enjoy the shows that people are in and I want to hear them thank their family, the team on the show, God, but I don't want to hear them go off about politics. If I wanted to know about someone's skewed vision of politics, I would watch CNN or MSNBC. I don't watch those channels because I don't care what random professor from random school thinks about the war.

So last night when Sally Field, of all people, wins her award and goes up on stage to claim her award, I didn't think she was going to go off about Politics. In fact, I believe she went so off about it, that they had to fake technical difficulties so we didn't have to hear whatever she said.

I hate that. This is why I hate Bono and all those folks who think that because they are famous that they have a say in politics. I don't care how many of the 'celebrities' are flaming liberals.

All I can say is that even if Bush hadn't been elected to a second term, I don't think that the troups would have been home a month after the Democrat took office. But we have to cut the celebrities a little slack because I highly doubt that most of them are MENSA members. So they probably weren't able to come up with that conclusion on their own. Besides, they are all about being on the band wagon anyway. I guess the more controversial the bandwagon, the more you get noticed. Whatever.

My own life lacks excitement.

Therefore, I better write about the fact that my sister got engaged last weekend. I can't tell you how it happened because I don't know that she told me that. I did get to see the pictures of how his place looked when she went over to his place for their anniversary dinner. She hadn't even been gone an hour when the two of them came home to show Sonny and I. I think she was happy. She had been pretty nervous about going over to his house because she didn't know if he was going to or not. I knew, because my mom told me in the morning that he had come to ask for Dad's permission to marry her. But now she is engaged and is supposed to start planning a wedding.

I have volunteered to be her wedding planner, or at least help her out somewhat. It seems like she wants all the whistles and bells and I am not really like that. Maybe it would be fun, but all those bells and whistles cost money.

We were trying to think about what the most useless part of wedding planning is so that we could tell her and that she could consider skipping that part. For example, my husband and I skipped the unity candle. When we met with the pastor, I told him how that was the part that annoyed me at any wedding I had ever gone to. To me, it takes 30 seconds to light the thing and then we have to sit for another 4 minutes while some dolt in the family sings. Every family has someone who can sing. Do you really need to use your wedding to broadcast their ability. I hate that. The pastor totally agreed with me. He said that the lighting isn't even really part of the ceremony. It's just for show. I wasn't there to impress anyone. I was there to marry the man that I loved. I think that people planning a wedding forget that part. It's not supposed to be about all the frills. It's supposed to be about marrying the person you have chosen to marry in God's house and with the blessings that go along with that.

I really hope that she figures it out that you don't need to spend so much money that you need to take out a loan. Your wedding doesn't need to cost over $10,000. Of course, I told her the approximate amount we spent, so she would have an idea how much it costs to have a nice wedding. (I thought it was a nice wedding. I may be biased.) Of course, we didn't have a DJ or dance, we didn't have a professional photographer (well, not one we had to pay), and we didn't have to buy a dress. Those three things probably saved us quite a bit of money. I don't know what her plans are, she is probably waiting for me to help her. But that's my thoughts on the whole thing so far.

I guess if she really wants to spend a gazillion dollars on the wedding, she could have the wedding during a more 'off season' time of year. And she could wait to get married so she could make money for the wedding. Of course, I will just let her read this and not tell her to get her all mad. I mean, things like weddings cost money. And my husband and I were talking about it and we both feel that there are more important things to spend money on than to spend a lot of money on your wedding. I mean you want to spend enough to have a beautiful day, but there will be more important things in your marriage that you will want to spend money on. If you are married, you totally know what I mean.

P.S. If you want to let me know a part of a wedding you were at, or part of your own wedding that you wish you would have done differently or didn't feel it was necessary, let me know so I can pass that knowledge on to my sister.

What SHOULD we worry about?

So, anyone who has children can probably relate to the fact that, as a parent, we spend a great majority of our time worrying about what we should be doing for our children. Is he getting enough sleep? Is he getting enough to drink in a day? Does he get enough protein? Is he happy? Is he bored? Things like that. I often think to myself that I SHOULD be reading to him more. I SHOULD be singing to him more. I SHOULD be teaching him his ABCs, his body parts, his colors, animals, vehicles...etc. But then I pause, take a breath and realize he is only 1.

Turn now to my trip to Subway to grab some supper for Sonny and I last night. I come out and across the street is Redhawk Liquor. As I am walking to get in my car, I see this guy walking to go into the liquor store...and...he is carrying a small child. I shake my head as I get in my car. I think to myself, "Where are this guy's ethics?" And then I further thought, "I obviously spend too much time worrying about the things that I am doing for my son, but should be doing more. But at least, I don't think that it's okay to take him into liquor store."

If there are any parents who can relate, or that feel taking your kid to the liquor store is okay, please let me know.

In other news...

I have started my part of the lose weight by Christmas. I started the first day of teacher workshop, and as of yesterday, I have lost 4.4 pounds in 10 days. That's pretty sweet. I was pretty excited about that.

I decided that I needed to put a new picture of Lukin on here because it has been forever since I have updated the picture. That and we finally have a working printer to make some pics to send to family and friends again. It will be nice because now I have some new pictures to take to hang up at work.

Speaking of work, today is the unofficial last day of summer. School starts tomorrow and we really should be getting ourselves back into school mode, but the boys are napping and I am more content doing this than organizing other things right now.

I will hopefully be able to get on here more frequently in the next year again once I get my work computer again.

Well, better go plan the menu for the next week's worth of meals. Then after that, off to the grocery store...my favorite...

Post Script

My friend Brenda asked me if I had gotten a job and realized that I hadn't really mentioned this yet and realized that people keep asking. Just to let all of you who have been wondering and asking, I have taken a job with my old district for the upcoming school year. I will be working .8. For those of you who don't work in school terms, that equals 32 hours a week. That will be nice. At least if I get my schedule set up the way I want it, it will be.

Date night

On Thursday night, we had date night. We went to Canterbury Park to watch the horse races. It was pretty fun. There were nine races and I think I won on all of them except for two: the first one and some random one later. The first one I didn't win because I was timid and scared and didn't really know how to place a bet and made a solitary bet and didn't pick well enough I guess.

Then after that we went to Mystic Lake Casino. I was pretty proud of myself for having gone to the horse track and only spending $16 the whole night. So I put $20 in the first machine and cashed out when I was down $5. Then I moved on and made some money and got back to even. This up and down $5 went on for a while and I was pretty excited that I had been playing for so long on the same $20. That was until I went over to Sonny and saw that he had hit some jackpot or whatever and had won over 7000 credits. So after he won all those credits he decided to play max credits a couple times before moving to the next machine where he hit a jackpot and won an additional 4000+ credits. I was sad after that. Not sad that he was winning, but that I was still only on my first $20 and hadn't made any money.

So I went off to play a different game. I told Sonny where I was and ventured off. After playing for a while, I began to worry that Sonny was losing all the money because he wasn't coming and wasn't coming over to find me. But finally he did. He said that he had gotten up to around $300 but had played down to $250. He sat down next to me and played down to around $180. Meanwhile, I was hitting the bonus quite a bit and I even got to play the progressive jackpot and had worked up to $90. But in the end, I cashed out the $20 I put in and Sonny cashed out $150.

Moral of the story: When you are up at the casino, you should always cash out and then if you want to keep playing that machine, put $5 back in so you don't lose all your winnings.

My cousin Chris's wedding

This past weekend we were up north for my cousin Chris's wedding. He got married in Bemidji. For the love of St. Pete, I can't figure out, and never did remember to ask, why they got married there when they live in Grand Forks. It was a nice wedding. Although I have to say that the fact that it was outdoors made me go out and buy a less fancy dress because I wasn't going to sit outside in 90+ degree heat and sweat for the wedding. But actually, the wedding was right outside of the hotel, looking out over the lake and it was cloudy and so the weather was breezy and just right. It was a very quick wedding...probably 20 minutes, if even that long. So, I guess I could have worn what I was originally going to wear, but the dress I bought was comfy enough that I could have even slept in it, so it was no big loss.

It was fun to see family that I haven't seen for a while. It was also fun to see the brand new baby of my cousin's. His name is Grady and he had just gotten out of NICU prior to the wedding and so you had to use hand sanitizer before you could hold the baby. However, no one really got to hold him because my cousin wanted my dad to hold him during the wedding because she was a bridesmaid and her husband was an usher. The only reason that I think I got to hold the baby is because a slow song came on and her husband asked if she wanted to dance and I said I would hold the baby so she could dance. He is so, so cute!

The hotel that we stayed in was very nice. My husband stayed in a Hampton Inn and Suites before and was not impressed so he was not really looking forward to this one until he saw the room. He said it was the nicest Hampton he had ever been to.

In fact, it was so nice that it made our suite at the Hilton, for Saturday night, seem like a dump. I told my husband that I was not impressed with the Hilton this time and that for New Year's, we might as well stay at the new hotel (the CanadInn) since I was that unimpressed with the Hilton on Saturday.

I can't think of anything else really to say and I am tired of telling Lukin to stop playing with the cord for the camera so I better get going for now.

Chris, you had a beautiful wedding and we are so glad we were able to be part of it.

Amanda's birthday

Well, I meant to get to this a lot sooner. I wanted to talk all about how much fun Amanda's birthday was. I wanted to tell everyone that if you have never eaten at Sander's (as I never had) that you should try it. They have really good salmon. I wanted to tell about how much fun we had at 'Overtime' (For the record, I hate that name. Sorry Neil.) I would tell about these two guys that kept bringing shots over for the five of us girls. It was a fun night and I wish I would have written in here sooner so I could have talked about it. :)

Couldn't be much more from the heart...

I don't even know where to begin this entry. It has been almost a week, if not more, since my last entry and I feel like so much has happened.

1. We went to Minot this weekend to see the Ouhl Sisters (of whom neither are any longer Ouhls). Kristi and I decided that we hadn't seen each other since her sister's wedding in November of 2001. Lisa and I decided that we hadn't seen each other since 2004, when Lisa and her husband stayed at my place over her 10 year reunion weekend. It was fun to see them. They really are fun cousins and I think we had a very fun time.On Friday we had a BBQ at Lisa's place on Base, and then Saturday I got to experience the ND State Fair for the first time. I actually got a little color, and no it wasn't a burn because I was slathering on the 50 proof baby sunscreen every 30 minutes or so...Lukin and I are so not getting skin cancer. Then on the flight home, we ended up sitting 1st class. It was fluke, but it had been a while and I had almost forgotten what it was like.

2. My cousin that lives in Bismarck, had her baby on Thursday. I'm not really sure if he was born early or not, but there were some complications. It is believed that he has Downs Syndrome, but they won't know for sure for 7 to 10 days (until the tests come back). My cousin sent out an email saying that she was scared, among the other emotions that run through a mother after she has a child. I will keep her in my prayers, and I will offer this thought, which my mother reminded me of: "God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle."

3. I did a little job shadowing/interviewing today. It was on the U of M campus. I'm not really sure which I was most apprehensive about: the job shadowing, the interview, or parking my car with UND plates on the U of M campus. No need to worry, my car was whole and nothing was missing when I returned after the 3 hours inside.

It was a really fascinating shadowing experience. Partly because that isn't typical procedure for someone applying for a position, and partly because I got to see a BMT client, (that stands for Bone Marrow Transplant), a patient that had esophageal atresia (not spelled correctly, I'm sure), and one patient that was a little over a year old and weighed a little over 7 pounds. The beauty was that I wasn't overwhelmed by any of it. It was just so interesting to not be bored.

4. My family: Lord knows I love them. However, they get so adament about seeing Lukin that they forget that about the details involved. Allow me to explain. When I called to tell my Dad that my cousin had her baby, he asked me when I was bringing Lukin up. He said, "My grandson misses me." I said that maybe I would bring him up this coming weekend, with it being Amanda's 30th and all. Well, Maybe equals definitely for them in terms of seeing Lukin. So now we are trying to work out a way for this to work for this weekend. My mother, however, has tomorrow (Wednesday) off and thinks that we should get there to be there for that. We can't make this happen. And I feel sort of bad, but I thought we had agreed the last time I was there that it was their turn to come see their grandson.

There's a few details that she doesn't think about when she wants us to come up. For example, how are we going to get from GF to Cavalier? She says that if we take Lukin up tomorrow, she will come and get him. I ask her what she will do with him on Thursday, and she says she will take him to work. And I know from the last time I was home that I certainly don't wanna go sit up there on Thursday while my mom works. She works until 9 pm and by the time she gets home it's 9:30. At least when I am at my house, Sonny comes home between 1:30 and 2:00. That's 8 less hours of waiting for someone to hang out with.

Granted, my sister will probably read this and say that she would be home. But last time I was home, it felt like she either didn't like Lukin and/or me enough to spend time with us, or was too crabby to spend time with us, or didn't know how to spend time with her sister and nephew without her boyfriend around. It felt like there was no quality sister time. It made me kinda sad and kinda defensive towards going up there again to spend the time between when she gets home and mom gets home alone versus with my sister. I jokingly said to Lukin on one of the nights when she was getting all gussied up for Mike to come over, "Remember when Stacie didn't have a Mike and we could hang out." She replied with, "Remember when your mom didn't have a Sonny and we could hang out." (Of course he doesn't. Without 'Mom' and 'Sonny', there would have been no Lukin.)

Anyway, so now I am stuck. I feel guilty that my parents haven't gotten to see Lukin in almost a month. I feel sad that if I go up there, my sister doesn't have time for us anymore. And yet, at the same time, I realize that if there weren't a Lukin, no one would call and whine that they hadn't seen me in a month (with the exception of Amanda, that is).

Epidemic...

Last weekend, my best friend told me that my ex-fiance turned 30 on Friday. A week from this Friday, she turns 30. In another couple of weeks after that, another one of my friends (and her twin brother) turn 30. A few weeks later and another friend turns 30 and then about 2 weeks after that, I turn 30.

Dramatic Music: I think it's an epidemic.

I was having this conversation with my friend Kurt, who for the record is 26, and he didn't seem to understand what the big deal was. I don't know if that's because he is 26 or because he is male. Allow me to go through the list of why turning 30 is not good:

1. Advertisements for things like make up, hair products and such are no longer aimed at you. They are aimed at young women in their late teens and 20s. Those products that have advertisements aimed at you are for turning back the clock.

2. MTV no longer makes any sense to you. In your early 20s, the idea of being on Real World was cool. Now the idea of living with a bunch of people who don't get along, don't really work, but do spend their time whining, waxing poetic, and drinking the nights away before landing in bed of one of their roommates is so ridiculous.

3. When you were in your teens, the 20s seemed like they were going to be so exciting: getting a job and making gazillions of dollars, getting your own place, maybe getting married, maybe other things. It all seemed so grown up and glamorous. Now, as you embark on your 30s, you realize that you are going to have a job, but it's not the glamorous one you envisioned. You won't makes millions a year, in fact you will probably never think you make enough to live comfortably. You may be married with a family and you may miss the days of sleeping in and thinking for one instead of for a whole family. Yay, being 30.

4. One word that you didn't worry about in your 20s: Gravity.

5. In your 20s, your diet could consist of pizza at every other meal, a 6 pak of soda a day and doritos, with queso, every night before heading out to the bar for a few adult beverages. I've been told that in your 30s, you really can't do that anymore, you metabolism slows dramatically and you have to really work to keep it thinking you are in your 20s.

6. When you were younger, the popular actors/actresses were your age, in your 30s they are all younger than you.

I know that the list could go on and on. Feel free to tell me some of the ones I am missing, if you are living through this epidemic yourself.

I needed a pick me up.

Okay so tonight after Lukin went to bed, I was online and tired of looking for jobs so I decided to go to youtube to check out my favorite periodic table song. It was pretty funny (as per usual). Then I checked out some Lewis Black clips which make me laugh because I think he is funny. Then I decided to check out my Damien Rice song. That was pretty interesting since I had never seen the video. And I have to confess that I never anticipated that the female voice was going to be a head balloon. That was an interesting twist.

Then I decided to check out some of my favorite songs. I was listening to Nelly Furtado's 'Say It Right' when I stumbled across the fact that I could watch (or listen to) a few of my favorite songs as Sims videos instead of as real people. I watched the Nelly Furtado song, Madonna's 'Hung Up', Pink's 'Family Portrait' (which I had forgotten I liked since I don't think I have heard it since I lived in Jamestown, and O-Zone's 'Dragostea Din Tei'. It made me feel better.

I have a not real interview tomorrow (or I guess later today noting the time). That ought to be fun. I will keep you all posted. My career options may be shifting if something doesn't happen soon.

Oh and one more thing: Amanda, you need to check out the 'What if the Beatles were British?' clip on youtube. It was slightly amusing. You would probably catch more of the songs than I did. Speaking of which, they also have Free as a Bird which I haven't seen since 1994 when it came out. I think I was sitting 10 inches from the tv. What?!? I was cool dambit!!

Apathetic

I really don't have a whole lot to say today. I started writing something that I got bored with writing. I guess being apathetic can be detrimental at times. I just stopped writing because I really didn't care about the topic that much.

I should go to bed because tonight/tomorrow is the one night that Sonny works and so I will have to get up with L-train in the morning and there are lots of things I want to do while he is at work (mostly organizational things...go figure).

Well, that's all I care to write about tonight.

Completely Normal

What do I know today? Well, today was the longest amount of time that I have spent in my home since before the 15th of the month. So that way kind of nice. I just wanted to relax and not do too much today. I think I succeeded.

I have hung up my recent letter that I got from the doctor. It says:

Dear Jennifer,

Your test results are completely normal.

It was a pleasure seeing you at your recent visit. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Doctor's name here.

That is exactly what it says. I plan to use it for many purposes, like whenever anyone tells me that I am not normal, or that I am a little weird. Um, hello. Not so much. The doctor SAID that I was normal. The letter from the doctor replaced the Pink Slip letter from my last school district. People have told me that I have a strange sense of humor...um, hello...my sense of humor is...wait for it...completely normal.

Can't I just sleep in?

So the last week, we have been busting our ass and running all over the world. Okay, maybe not so much all over the world, but at least around the continent. We spent last weekend in Omaha. We were there for Sonny's mom's side of the family reunion. It was at the Omaha zoo. It was pretty hot. We stayed with some friends of Sonny's that have three kids: twin girls and a younger son. It was fun. They adore Lukin.

After the reunion, we headed back on Sunday and repacked and got ready for the trip up to Calgary on Monday. As tends to be par for the course, it was in the 90s while we were there. And it should be mentioned that my grandmother does not have any form of air conditioning. Of course not, right?

Although we had fun, even though it was hot. We took one day and just went to a mall just to be in the AC. The next day we went to Lake Louise and Banff. We went out for supper on Wednesday to Red Lobster. That is a whole story in itself, but since I don't know who all reads my blog, I guess it's one I will have to share in person. Oh my goodness. It was quite the ordeal. I don't think Grandma and Nils are planning to eat there again any time soon.

Now I am in Fargo for Girl's weekend. I am pretty tired because we were at Nicole's house last night until almost 2 am. Fun times, fun times. We started the day by getting pedicures and then went to lunch at Olive Garden. Pat Sweeney showed up...ooooohhh, local celebrity. Then we went back to Brenda's place to drop off some cars and take a potty break and then we ventured out to Old Navy and Pet Smart. Amanda wanted to see the kitties, or the kit-tas as she was calling them. Then we had some Cold Stone and dropped Nicole off so she could pick up her place before we ame over. We watched a movie and played some games, and ordered pizza. It was really fun, and no, Sonny we didn't go trolling for airmen. We're a little too old for that whole bar all night scene.

Better go get ready since I am flying out of Grand Forks since their flights today look better than the ones out of Fargo.

Live Earth, Bad Computer, and the like...

So it's been a few days since I wrote in here last and I don't even know where to begin. I could talk about how we went to Cavalier again for the fourth of July, but nothing really significant sticks out except that Stacie and I gave Lukin a haircut outside and he was crying so hard that I thought someone was going to call the cops. Other than that, it was another week of hanging out at the parents' place and keeping a low profile.

The drive to Grand Forks is where the true ranting can begin. The rental car we had had satellite radio and there was some commercial for something that I thought said, 'Live Birth'. I looked at Sonny and said, "I don't think I would want to listen to a channel that talks about live births." He said, "no, it's this concert called Live Earth." I'm like, "What's Live Earth?" He says, "It's a concert to raise awareness about conservation." I think for a moment and then ask, "Why do we need a concert to raise awareness about conservation? Why can't we just conserve?" To which he replied, "Exactly." I don't understand why there are all these stupid causes out there. Not that conservation is a stupid cause, but most people know about it and it seems to waste more energy and natural resources preparing for, and having a concert to raise awareness than it would to just get talking about it.

Besides, everyone is pretty aware of my views on topics like this. I hate how celebrities use their celebrity status to raise awareness. It's like, some celebrity decides to go to Arizona in the summer and notices, when not coked out, that it is really hot there. So they return to their well air-conditioned home in LA and decide that something has to be done. Someone must be the crusader to raise awareness about how hot it is in the Arizona desert in the summer!!

How about instead of raising awareness about stupid stuff, why not look at something real? It bothers me that no matter what state I work in, no matter what school employs me, there are always students that you send home at the end of each day not knowing if they will eat again before lunch tomorrow. Why doesn't someone, besides me, care about that? Why are we sending all this money to other countries and on causes that are not the most important priority right now? I don't understand at all.

Next topic, since we know I could go on for days about that last one. Sunday night I was trying to complete an application for a job down here in the cities, online. It was going alright until it needed me to go to a separate site to complete a survey which basically asked me a bunch of redundant questions, and then return to upload all my letters and resume and stuff like that. Well, it decided that it was going to pretend that it was going to upload stuff but not actually upload anything. And me, being as patient as I am, was screaming at the computer because I thought it was stupid to waste all this time on a school that wasn't even organized enough to call me back after an interview two years ago.

Well, time passes and it has now been 4 hours working on this same app. and I am still super calm as I tend to be and Sonny comes upstairs. I scream, "That is just great! You have got to be kidding me!" I didn't mean to stay up until he got up for work, but that is how that went. I was so mad that I had to tell Sonny all about it, and not in a quiet manner, like a person should talk at 1 am. Sonny spent the next hour or so on damage control.

I was so frustrated/upset. I hate that I am not tenured and that I am constantly looking for jobs every year. I hate that I have to fill out apps that look exactly the same for several different districts over and over again. Lastly, I hate that it takes anywhere over an hour to complete any of these things...let alone 4 hours.

Well, needless to say, I didn't return to the computer for a couple days. I am still tired of filling out apps, but hopefully the next ten or so days away from the computer will help.

Last subject before attempting to put all the pots and pan back in the drawer since Lukin felt we needed a percussion solo or two this morning. Sonny was supposed to start his 13 days of vacation today. We went over to his parents house for supper and marbles last night and then when we came home he had missed three calls from work. He listened to his voice mail to find out there was overtime available. He sat on the couch and I think he was waiting for me to say yes or no to him. I told him he could work it if he wanted to. He said he didn't want me to be mad. I said that I understood why he wanted to work it: overtime money equals more vacation spending cash. That and the fact that your wife has no job lined up, doesn't help either. He just kept repeating that he didn't want me mad. And I have to say that I am not mad, exactly. I am just sad.

I can't remember the last time that he had a day off when we were here. I can't remember the last time that he got to get up and have breakfast with his son. I can't remember the last time he brought Lukin down after breakfast to wake mommy up so we could play. And it makes me sad that he always seems to be working. I know that I joke about being a single parent because I do a lot of stuff with Lukin without him. But it makes me somewhat sad sometimes that he can't be there with us too.

Well, enough about that. Off to chase the little drummer boy.

A girly entry

I apologize upfront to any men who read my blog. Today's entry won't make a lot of sense (well at least this first part anyway).

So I have this job interview tomorrow and as per usual, I like to make sure that my fingernails look appropriate. I know that some of you think that I think about the weirdest things sometimes but I wouldn't want to hire someone to work with my children who had dirty unkempt fingernails.

Anyway.

I am happy to report that my fingernails are about 3/4 of the way to being all natural again. (This is the part that won't make sense to men.) I had the acryllics removed back in May or April, I don't remember and they are in the process of growing out again. I can see that last little ridge in them that tells me where the last time I had them filled was.

Now watch and I will get a call from Naomi and we will go to our favorite stalker nail dude and get them done all over again. Maybe I will just get my toes done. The little jewels on my toes from the last pedicure, along with the nail design, need to be updated. Although I have to confess that I love the color.

In other news...

Lukin is staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house tonight. I have that interview in the morning and we were all out tonight together at a Farmer's Market so he just went home with them. It made me a little bit sad because he has been with me every night since school got out and so it was a little weird to let him stay there. I felt like I was abandoning my child, even though he loves Grandma and Grandpa and they love him. I wonder how Sonny feels when Lukin and I go to North Dakota for a week at a time?

I better go. I need some sleep. I am still exhausted from staying up late last night trying to get caught up with reading all my email and updating my blog. Now I need to find time to reply to some real emails (and not just forwards) and stuff. Yeah. I'll get right on that.

Plethora

It was brought to my attention last week that my sister is tired of reading the same blog title and the same entry. She wants me to write a new one for her to read. So my mind is spinning, I haven't written in here since like the 6th and so much has happened that I don't know where to start. (Don't get me wrong, you will all live without the details) but Stacie wants something new to read...and whatever Stacie wants...baahhhh-ha-ha-ha-haaa! Sorry Stacie, couldn't even do that for ya without laughing...

Well, school got out. The next week consisted of 2 interviews, one Tastefully Simple Party, one dental appointment, one spa appointment, one eye appointment, and lunch with Marisa (yay Marisa you made the blog!)

On Friday the 15th, after the second interview, we finished packing before taking the 2:30 or so flight to GF. We got some stuff at Target for L-train and then headed up to big Cav. Sonny went home on Sunday because he had/has to work every day until July 7th. On Wednesday, Stacie, Mom, Lukin and I went to Grand Forks. It was a long day of shopping but eventually we finished and I picked up keys from Amanda and headed over there. Unfortunately, the pack and play and I exchanged some unpleasant words and I ended up holding Lukin until Amanda got home from work. Lukin felt it was important for everyone to wake up at 4:30 am, even if only to let us know that he was there.

Thursday, the boy and I went to Hillsboro to see Teresa and the girls. We were there for 3 hours or so and I was so tired when we left. Maybe it was because we got up so early or maybe it was from trying to keep up with Lukin and her two girls (ages 3 and 5). Either way, it was fun to see my 'nieces' and get updated pictures of them.

Friday and Saturday we all hung out at home. Stacie apparently did not have hopping things to do uptown. I was kind of half expecting her to ask me to uptown with her on Saturday since Mom and Dad were home to watch the boy, but she didn't and that's okay.

Sunday we came home and Monday I had a physical and today we just lounged. There we are all up to speed on my life.

Misc. details:
**For Stacie: Remember how Kim did my hair straight and sassy? Well, it's curly and I don't have time for straight sassiness. But I have to say, it's pretty damn cute anyway.

**For Stacie (again): The title for this blog is dedicated to your vocab class you took in college. Yay, your class!

**Still looking for a job. Have another interview set up for this week. I don't understand this profession, but I swear that if there is such a shortage of speech people, that you wouldn't cut someone's job to .2 and then expect them to happily stay. But whatever.

**Doesn't get much more MISC. than this...I don't like comedians that are cowboys. There's just something wrong about it. Amanda is probably chuckling thinking about me trying to watch comedians who are cowboys. Maybe that is why I don't like them. I don't really know.

That's about it for tonight. I am tired but still have to compose an entertaining email. I should just send a link to this entry. I do want to talk about the concept of psychology (as if it's a concept), but I will save that for another day.

Summer and still tired

Well, we are officially on day 2 of summer break. I am tired today. It could be due to a number of reasons: 1) I had a busy day yesterday. 2) I stayed up late watching a movie when I should have just gone to bed. 3) I have my period and that always makes me tired.

Nevertheless, regardless of how tired I am, I am trying to squeeze as many appointments as I can into this week. I believe we are leaving on Friday to head to Cavalier for a week (L-train and I will be staying a week, Daddy is just helping us get there then he has to come back and work).

However, I have been able to get myself a hair appointment, a massage appointment, and an eyebrow appointment all scheduled for today and tomorrow, so that is pretty cool. I still need to make one more appointment to see a doctor so that I can get a prescription refilled. I should really do that instead of dinking around on the computer.

Well, I do have a couple things I need to accomplish before my dental appointment this afternoon anyway. Better get to them.

Jennifer

Bittersweet...more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet.

So today is my last official day at Dakota Ridge. I have spent the day trying to get everything cleaned out and up. I have rearranged an entire bookshelf and cleaned out cupboards full of materials and condensed them down into three shelf units. I know that the person who works here next year will never know all the organizational things I did here to make their job easier. But whatever.

I want to work another hour or so but I needed a break from all the cleaning. I actually have had breaks every two hours or so. One to go to my other school, the next to have lunch that one student's parent brought, the next to meet with the principal, and then now. I am trying to get all my computer stuff taken care of. After I write this, that should wrap it up. I have cleaned the whole computer out.

Better go. Hope you enjoyed the last entry from Dakota Ridge School.

Oh yeah, my weekend.

I don't know if I remembered to talk about my weekend. We went to San Francisco for the Twins game. I can't believe how cold it was. I have always had this apprehension about going to California because I didn't want to be that hot. Quite the contrary! I was quite cold the whole time. I wore a tank top under a shirt with 3/4 sleeves, then I brought my jean jacket and had to buy a fleece jacket to wear too!! I can't even know how Sonny got through the whole day in shorts. Brrrrr...

There was a lot of walking involved. Mostly, the walking all happened in regards to getting lunch. It was so freaking far to walk to get to lunch. Sonny didn't think we would have to walk as far as we did. I was so frustrated that I was a real joy to be around.

That's all I have to say about that. There was a bit of walking involved with going to the game but of course the outside of a baseball/football field is going to be rather large. That wouldn't have been so bad if we wouldn't have walked so much just to have lunch.

Contrary to what Sonny thinks, I did have a good time on our whirlwind trip.

A baby, a cough, and a mortar board

Last entry's song title: Good Things by The Bodeans (One of Sonny's favorite songs)

So I found out that my ex-fiance had a baby. Okay, he didn't have the baby, his wife did. And you know something, I don't really care. I mean, Congratulations on having a baby, but whatever. I remember when I found out that he got married. I was taken aback a little because I didn't know how he could get married first, but I wasn't jealous. I'm not jealous that he (his wife) had a kid either.

When school gets out, I need to get myself to a doctor. I need to get a referal to an ENT, among some other things. The point of this paragraph, however, is that while I am there, I should see if they can figure out what is up with me coughing all the time. I don't feel sick, so why do I always cough? They may not know the answer. In fact, that may be a reason to see an ENT on it's own, aside from the ear issues I have been having my whole life.

What else? Today was graduation here at Dakota Ridge. I saw a couple people arrive all dressed up (must have been some parents) and I almost got teary-eyed. What a great day for those people, even though I didn't know who they were, to have their child graduate. I'm getting sentimental in my old age, or maybe it's just parenthood.

Give, I can give, love and attention.

Last entry's song title: Black Eyed Dog by Nick Drake

I am ready for summer. I don't think I am the only one. The kids are out of control. Today the kids at Shannon Park were as bad as they were at the beginning of the year. It wasn't fun. It doesn't leave me with this longing to hurry back there on Monday. Oh well.

I should be working on packing up my classroom. I don't really feel like it right now. I don't really know that I will feel like it next week either but I won't really have an option. It will be fun to get all my stuff packed up again (ready with heavy sarcasm). I am so tired of being itinerant. Perhaps I should have chosen a different profession.

i have my eye appointment after school to see what is wrong with my eyes. I sure hope it's not that eye thing going around with the eye virus or whatever it is. However, I am looking forward to my eyes feeling better.

Better shut down and get ready to head out. I am ready for there to only be three more days at each school.

I'm growing old and I don't wanna know.

Last entry's song title: I'll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

I have so much to rant about, I don't even know where to begin.

Let me start with education. Oh boy. First of all, I have to laugh as I say this but I swear that education is the only profession in which you get your pink slip and then are expected to work an additional three months or so. They say they do it that way so that you have adequate time to find another position for the next year. I think it's so that they can see how much of a sucker you are. Which brings me to my next point, what a waste of time my job is right now.

At this point of the year, it's basically crowd control. Most of the kids have checked out for the year. Hardly any of them are still in a frame of mind to learn anything. And then, we have these meetings talking about stuff for next year. I don't care. Unless, by some miracle, the woman who is apparently taking this job next year, changes her mind, I am pretty sure I don't care what you plan for next year. That might sound bitchy but I am having a hell of a time getting myself out of bed to come to work. And why shouldn't I? I can't find a reason to make myself want to do well. I mean, yes, I don't want any bad letters of rec following me around, but all the letters have been written. I have applied to all the open positions I can find. Will I find anything out before the end of the year? Who knows? But it leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless. You gotta love education.

I didn't do anything for my Memorial Day weekend. I just stayed at home with Lukin while Sonny worked. We didn't go anywhere because Daddy had the car seat and I forgot to have him leave it at the house before he left for work every day. So I had a lot of time to think. I realized that I am closing in on 30 quickly. In fact, I have 4 months and 6 days until I leave my 20s. That sucks. If you watch tv, you realize all ads are aimed at women in their 20s. They don't have ads for how beautiful you can look at 30. I hate it. I don't know that I have the idea of turning 30 as much as the idea of turning 30 how life is now.

As I went through my 20s, there were plenty of things I would have liked to change. However, being that it was my 20s, it was all part of the gig. I wish I would have had the knowledge and wisdom that I have now, but just not the age.

I don't want this to be the way it is when I turn 30. Aside from the things I want to be different about the way I perceive the world, I also want to look different too. I don't want bad grown out gray perm action, and I don't want post-baby body. So, I better get to work on those things if I want to change them. I want my 30s to be fantastic, but I don't wanna blow it either.

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

Last entry's song title: It's the End of the World as We Know It by R.E.M.

Thank goodness it's Friday. Special thanks to Sonny for helping me out on my "project" last night. I am almost done but I needed a break. My shoulders and neck couldn't take any more hunching over, so I thought I would blog.

What a work day! I have been working on my "project" and now I am blogging. The classrooms that we visit during block 3 are on a field trip so my afternoon is free because block 4 is usually my prep on green days. So I am just filling time.

I need to make some bingo cards. I made the cards, but now I need to fill them out and make the little slips to draw. That ought to be fun. Yeah, right. I should get going on that so that I can keep myself busy for the rest of the day and not have anything undone when I go home. Maybe then I can go home and start working on my wedding album tonight. Ha!

Well, if you are in town this weekend and want to get together, give me a call. I will be here and will probably be bored.

Late Celebration

I forgot to make a big deal out of the fact that the last entry was my 100th entry. Whoopie! Too bad I couldn't make some bad ass graphics or something like Strong Bad whenever he gets another 100 emails. Oh well.

...er...whatever...

Listen to yourself churn (tricky one)

Last entry's song title: It's Not Over by Daughtry

That was almost a fitting song choice seeing as last night was the finale of American Idol. Hmmm...

So, Sonny and I were working on the secret project tonight. I think I might be able to finish it tomorrow because after lunch I usually have a block of speech and then a block of prep and the block of kids will be on a field trip so I will be able to (fingers crossed) get it done tomorrow at work.

Today, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I didn't even get to work until 11:30 because I was out and about in the district trying to get to all the meetings I was needed at. It was only two meetings but they took nearly 4 hours. Wait. 7:30 to 11:30, yeah, that's four. It's been a long day.

This year is draining everyone. Maybe everyone's brain just stops functioning at this point in the year. But the kids are pretty much as equally distracted as the staff Nice.

My mouth is still sore from the dentist on Tuesday. In fact, I think it is more so now. I feel like I can't even open wide enough for a tuna sandwich (I know this to be true because that was supper.)

And if it's not really enough that my mouth hurts, I had to call the eye place because ever since we went to get our eyes checked at the beginning of the month, I have been having headaches from time to time when I try to shift focus too quickly. I have another appointment lined up to meet (for free) with the contact lens specialist. The lady on the phone thought that maybe my new contacts corrected my near-sightedness but not my astigmatism. I didn't even know I had astigmatism. Of course, what does that lady know? She hasn't even ever met me.

I told Sonny that I needed to stop having appointments because the one that I had each for vision and dental has turned into at least two for the month. Nice.

Try to do it right this time around.

Last entry's song title: Shackles by Vertical Horizon

If you have ever scrapbooked, you probably know what I am about to talk about. If not, work with me, it's a slow news day.

So I am doing this thing with materials from Archivers (I know that is cryptic but it will make sense to some of you soon enough), and I was on a roll last night but then I ran out of those little sticky dots. I had some sticky strips but I was almost out of them and then I had the tiny little strips that are for pictures and I don't know if they are what I want. I mean, they will do, but I kind of want to save them for the baby album, (whenever I get to that). So I think I better go and get some more. That's good because it is right beside the bank and I could use a $20. I hate not having any cash.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I went to the dentist yesterday. I wasn't afraid until I was in the chair, then I started to shake. I was freaking out. Dentist = pain. At least, when you have been to Dr. Mean for a few years, you know that Dentist = pain. Well, this place I go to now, it was hardly painful. The most pain was the two shots of novacaine, then I felt a little pain during the tooth grinding part, so then there was a third shot of novacaine. It was loud, but hardly painful. I was numb until at least 5 pm, and my apointment was at 1:20. It was weird. I get to go back in three weeks. That should be fun too. I won't be as nervous and I won't hesitate to have them turn it to the food network for me.

That's about all I know today. Ho-hum.

So tired now of paying my dues.

Last entry's song title: Satellite by Dave Matthews Band

Yesterday, I got this cryptic message from my aunt. She starts out by telling me that my grandma got her feelings hurt when she was here last weekend. Okay. I don't know what happened, and subsequent emails didn't get any information. My husband and I worry that she was upset because she had to sleep on the couch. Who knows?

What I don't get about the cryptic messages is that it started with Grandma's "alleged" hurt feelings and turned into this lecture about me being happy with the life I have. What the hell?

It would be different if I had an idea what this all stemmed from. But I don't. It just drives me nuts when people try to tell you what you are doing wrong in your life. No one is perfect, so no one should have that right. Well, except maybe psychriatrists and psycologists. But that's a whole other conversation right there.

Everything good needs replacing.

Last entry's song title: Steal My Sunshine by LEN (Amanda got that one)

I was driving back from Shannon Park today and I was thinking about my senior year of high school, particularly the last part of the high school, the part that would have happened eleven years ago this week. I was thinking about this because Dave Matthews came on the radio and I thought about how cool I thought I was with my Dave Matthews Band "Under the Table and Dreaming" and Alanis Morrissette "Jagged Little Pill" tapes. Yes, tapes. Who did I think I was? I doubt everyone had tapes, most probably were moving to CDs. Who cares? They didn't have friends who had an elephant squirt gun.

In other news...

This weekend, Lukin got to go to the park for the first time. We were at some of Sonny's friends and they wanted to let their kids go to the park so we went with them. We took and put Lukin in the baby swing for a few turns (he sorta giggled but then wanted out. He looked like a sack of potatoes all slumped up.) Then we took him down a curly slide, a double slide and a fast slide. I think he could sense mommy's fear of heights because he would fuss when he got to the top of the playground equipment.

I better go eat lunch. I don't really have lunch but I have some pretend lunch like stuff. That and I don't really have anything else important to say besides 12 days and counting.

L-A-T-E-R that week...

Last entry's song title: Headstrong by Trapt

Does anyone know what it means when an application wants to know your College Credentials separate from your transcripts? I don't even know what that means. I guess I just won't complete the application then. Why do school districts insist on making the application process so damned difficult?

I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to work in a school anymore, but my husband, being the big 'get-a-job' downer that he is (love you honey!) says that I have to work. Jerk. I am very jaded with the whole situation, still and don't care to fix it all that much. Although, my huband says he has some surprises for me if I get a job. Can't wait.

Well, I am tired. I know, I say that all the time, but now it's starting to make me crabby on a regular basis. It's not good. Better get myself to bed.

Your first impressions got to be your very best.

Last entry's song title: Sunflowers by Everclear

I am broadcasting to you live today from Panera (Pandora's Box for Amanda) in Apple Valley, MN. Being newly unemployed (for next year, that is) has afforded me the opportunity to use my sick days for appointments where I might only have had to previously leave work 20 minutes early instead of 4 hours. But don't get me started about the things that I feel are wrong with the Minnesota (and probably the rest of the country's) school system.

I say, "don't get me started" probably because I can do that myself. I have a little over 4 years (because Lukin won't wait until he is 6 to go to kindergarten...he's too damn smart) to figure out where Lukin is going to go to school. Chances are, I will have to not work and get my basic education degree so that I can stay at home and teach my child.

This all stems from yesterday and how pissed off I was when I had some stupid OT ask me if I liked my job. The OT herself is not stupid, just the fact that she asked me about my job when I didn't even know I wasn't going to have the opportunity to have it back next year. You see, our district has this stupid policy where all non-tenured (I believe they call it 'probationary status') teachers are non-renewed and therefore are unemployed as of the date of that letter. When all the tenured people get situated for the next year, then those who work in the district who are not tenured, can be offered the jobs that are remaining. They are often odds and ends jobs, which is how I ended up with three schools this year.

So anyway, the school district is shrinking, enrollment is down. Where are the people going? I don't know. I assume, and have had explained to me that the district in general is getting older and there no longer is the need for as much education staff. Well, pardon me if I think that is bullshit. Perhaps the number of students has gone down, but the needs of the students have gone up. I haven't heard of any of the schools in the district INcreasing their speech-language allotment for next year. It's not like the students who need speech are just disappearing. And it is certainly not that LD teachers can do what we do. So how are these students having their needs met? Short answer HAS to be that they aren't.

I know it's not the principal's fault. I know it's not the special ed director's fault. I know that it is the government's fault. How can there be things like, "No Child Left Behind" and then major cuts in Special Education funding? If you cut special ed funding, you are setting certain students up for failure. God forbid they cut programs like phy ed. "But the kids need to learn to exercise. Otherwise we are setting them up for a future of obesity." Possibly. However, if you cut special ed., you are setting them up for a future of welfare, because they don't know how to do things because there was no one to help them.

It makes me wonder. Is our country trying to move back to the state of institutuionalization? It has that aire to me.

My husband thinks that it's odd that teachers are not paid better. These are the people that help to shape the future of our country. We are 'molding the minds'. Granted, home plays a part, but sorry, home can't grant a degree.

So as of right now, I am employed for 15 more days. After that, who knows? All I know is that my husband keeps sending me opening in school districts around us, even the one I currently work for, and I am not interested. I don't even want to work in education anymore. I would rather go to the hospital setting. I could work less hours a week and still make more money a year than I do now. (Granted, I would work year 'round, but still). Or maybe I should go into one of the things I was talking about yesterday. I am sure there are downfalls (like the massive dive in annual salary) to any job but right now, any job has to beat the one I have, or I should say, had.

When you were a child, you were happy and free...

I'm just plain fed up with everything. I realized that as hard as I have been working this year, it hasn't been hard enough. I find myself thinking things like, "Sometimes I am having a bad day and need someone to process through with." It shows that I am working in a special education setting. It should show that I am vested, but I am sure no one cares.

I am at this point where I don't know what to do. I am tired of having to go through the whole rigamarole every spring with not being tenured and not getting to stay in an environment for more than 9 months. Maybe I have been looking at it all wrong. Maybe I should work with some little ones. I don't even know anymore.

I feel like I want a fresh start and that being old and having summers off isn't all it's cracked up to be. It only means that every nine months you have to worry about where the paychecks are going to come from after you get the last one in August. I don't want or need that.

But what do I 'want' to do? I can't even tell you. I don't even really know. Part of me is too lazy to attempt something else. Part of me thinks that I know what I am doing and that I shouldn't give up on what I went to school for. There are parts of my brain that scream, "hairdresser!" or "administrator" or "psychologist" but I wouldn't even know where to begin with any of them. How about I just win the lottery and then I don't have to worry about any of it? Fat chance.

I have an acquaintance here in the citites that says that God is looking out for me; that he wouldn't let anything happen to me and that he will make sure that I am okay. Well, if all of that is true, then why don't I know that?

That leads to my whole religion thing, but I will save that for another day. I should go and do a little bit of work because even though I am done, I still have 16.5 more days to care about.

Countdown to the big 0-1

Last entry's title song: The Way I Am by Eminem

*Hope you were smart enough to figure out that the title is about the birthday coming up and not a song lyric. Got it, Stacie?*

Last night we went to Party America and bought some things for Lukin's party: wrapping paper that says '1st Birthday', a 'one' candle, a banner, and a few other little things. It was kind of fun. We also went to Byerly's to order Lukin's birthday cake. We were going to order a cake from Cub but we stood there for like 5 to 10 minutes and no one helped us so we decided to go to Byerly's and order a cake. It will cost a little more (insert some comment about how they jack up prices to employ many people courtesy of Amanda's Dan).

There is so much to do before this weekend. And I am not even thinking about cleaning and getting ready for company. I am thinking of everything else, since Sonny has that covered. It will probably only get worse because this will be like the only year where we get to pick out the theme (or lack thereof) and from here on out, there will be whining and a fit thrown right there on the floor at Party America when we suggest Spongebob and he wants Go Diego Go. Can't wait.

I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me.

Last entry's song title: Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nallick

**If you are easily offended, maybe you should skip today's entry.**

So, I am tired of a lot of things. I wanna vent about a couple of them today:

1. Single income households

2. Starving Children in Africa

The first one is an issue and I don't know if that is because I don't want to work and so I am jealous when other people don't have to. The thing that bugs me about those people is two-fold. One is that, if they have a college degree, then they are wasting it by sitting at home and not working. Just because Johnny Husband makes a buctillion dollars doesn't mean that you should let your mind rot. I think that if you have a degree you should work at least 8 hours a week in your trained area. The other reason I have to vent about these people, mostly women, is because they have this "Guess-who-I'm-better-than-because-I-don't-have-to-work?--You!-attitude". My only response to that goes back to the not working thing: "Guess-who's-not-gonna-sit-in-an-old-folks-home-all-senile-because-they-never-worked-their-brain?--Me!-attitude". Oh, and for the record, gossip is not mental work. I'm not a gossip person. At least I don't think I am. I don't care about it. But anyway. (The reason for this whole rant is the driving to Shannon Park thing everyday. I get so tired of non-working parents who think they are so great because we have chosen this lowly teaching existence. Jerks. Of course, this may all be in my head but I see them talking outside the school when I arrive at SP, and they sound like people I would hate.

The second one is probably more offensive to people. This whole rant started when American Idol decided to raise money for the poor people who live in Africa. Then they played these clips of the poverty in Africa and so on, and so on. Well, it's sad to look at but I am offended that we were exposed to an episode where we were asked to send money to help these poor, starving, children, and oh yeah, if you call now, we might send some of it to the children of our country. This is the thing that stopped me from contributing. I do care about the children who are starving and poor and lack the basic survival things that most of us take for granted. That's not a question. What I don't care for, is how the media tries to paint this really bleak picture of how bad it is elsewhere. I work in a school district, here in the US, where we have kids who come to school starving in the morning (maybe because they are just hungry in the morning, or maybe it's because they haven't eaten since lunch the day before). Why do we have to care so much about other countries impoverished peoples when our own country is full of those who could use a little help?

Is it because people are less tolerant of those people because our country has welfare and people may think it's their own fault that they can't provide for their family. "How do you not have enough to survive? This is America!" These people talk as if being from America is some magical thing. Like it's a fairy tale place where nothing bad could ever happen. It drives me nuts that people think that when I get to work with children who hoard everything you give them because they have been trained to do so because they don't know where the next thing to eat will come from. So tell me why I should send my money across the ocean to help people I will never meet. I would rather donate to the salvation army to help the people who need it in my area more.

I have to close with this thought. It's not mine, so I will share it anonymously. The thought was this: "There is a way to control poverty and starvation in Africa: it's called birth control." The person who said it commented that to say that would be too controversial because it cuts into basic human rights, blah, blah, blah. So? You know what cuts into basic human rights? When I want to watch a show to forget about the reality that I live in, and am forced to deal with the problems of a country that isn't mine.