Financial Pity Party

Since I am pretty convinced that hardly anyone reads my blog anymore, I will use it as a journal today instead of something to entertain anyone who may have been a reader before.

I am sad. I don't like living in the twin cities. This is not something new. This is just something that I think about frequently. And until recently, I've just had to deal with that. I mean, there aren't a lot of options for Sonny's career choice in Grand Forks or Fargo (the area that I would like to move back to). I'm not saying that I could find a job lickity-split, but my profession has more openings than Sonny's. But the other day, in a moment of (I'm guessing) bad joking on my husband's part, he told me that we couldn't go to Target until payday. He has never said that before and I was stunned. So, I looked at him and couldn't help but ask, "We can't afford to go get toilet paper until payday!?!"

Now, I assumed that he was joking. I hope he was joking. The very idea of not being able to afford toilet paper scares the crap out of me...and that doesn't do anyone any good when there is no toilet paper. In college, it freaked me out when there wasn't any excess money for anything. I hated living from one of Greg's paychecks to the next. He was the one with the salary job while I was the one with the minimum wage hourly rate. It was scary. But it's more scary to think about that now as a 'grown up' with a family, and a degree. So, what you're telling me is that even though I busted my ass for my Masters, and we both work at least 32 hours a week, we can't afford to splurge once in a while?!?

But we do splurge once in a while. We try to have a date night or dinner out at least once per week. Sometimes on the weekend, it seems like we only eat out, even if it's just something quick like Quizno's.

I'm sure that my husband will read this and tell me that I shouldn't have written this, but I am sure that every family goes through periods where money is tight, or at least feels like it is. And I know that he did explain to me that it wasn't that we couldn't afford toilet paper, but that going to Target never equals just toilet paper. Think about it. Have you ever gone to Target and just came out with the one or two things that you needed? I understand his point. But the thought lingers in my head. Do I need to get another job? Does he need to get another job? Do we need to move somewhere where the cost of living isn't so high? I mean, I know the cost of living would be significantly less in ND, but so would the wages we would be working for. That's disheartening.

So, if you have ever worried about money, I hope you feel better after reading my financial woes. I don't know if my husband made his comment because we had gone to the MOA for the afternoon. But I didn't shop at any stores (except for Lukin) that I didn't have a gift card for. I don't need the lecture, so I tend to avoid fun shopping anymore.

So there you go: hardly any money, very few friends (none of which are in the district I work in), and no family. Remind me again of why I am supposed to like living in the twin cities?